Shameless

A massive earthquake and subsequent series of waves hit Japan early this morning. While this isn't the first earthquake Japan has experienced, and certainly won't be their last, some of the names you know are already using this event to line their pockets. Gordon Roberton and Tim LaHaye are two of many evangelical Christians using this seismic tragedy to earn money for their end of times cults.

Both men claim that earthquakes are the birth pangs of Jesus and that everyone should be afraid and spread Christianity before it's too late. In other calls, Robertson reminded folks to choose Christian candidates and to oppose Medicaid. And don't forget to support the CBN.

LaHaye was in Hawaii making more money when his hotel was evacuated due to a tsunami warning. Instead of saying "Lord take me if it is your will", he left with his wife until it was safe to return. When he was sure that he was okay, he became overwhelmed by the spirit that he felt the need to add the disaster to his 2 prophesy conferences this weekend in Maui. Citing Matthew 24, he also claims that these earthquakes are the will of an almighty creator birthing his son.

If these were really the end times, the preachers wouldn't be asking for your money. If only 144, 000 human beings were to survive this apocalyptic ice storm/nuclear war/general clusterfuck like the wingnuts claim, paper currency would be just another thing to wipe your arse with. Once again, these shameless buffoons are using a seismic disaster to scare people into buying them new Lamborghinis, which they know would be terrible cars to own if we had to start over. These con men know that they're lying, and just hope that nobody else will notice.

From tornados to earthquakes and more, there have always been disasters; some of them even leveling entire cities. The world is not coming to an end, and when and if it should, a scientist will be far more likely to predict Earth's demise than a guy who quotes from a book written by cave-dwellers. If divine protection was real, LaHaye and his wife wouldn't have evacuated.

So, what to do? Well, you should give, and do so from the heart. But don't give your money to the CBN or buy Tim LaHaye's ridiculous books; instead opt for one of the many relief organizations that actually do something for the people affected by natural disasters.

And here are a few.

Canadian Red Cross Disaster Relief : 1-800-418-1111 or http://www.redcross.ca
                   Canadian Mobile Text Relief  - text ASIA (all caps) to 30333 to donate $5
                                                                - text QUAKE to 45678 to donate $10

American Red Cross Disaster Relief : 1-800-Red Cross or http://www.redcross.org
                  American Mobile Text Relief  - text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10

Convoy of Hope USA - text TSUNAMI to 50555 to donate $10 or http://www.convoyofhope.org/

British Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund 0844- 209- 0009 (24h, accepts charge cards and other methods)
                                                         Donate online
American Muslims For Emergency and Relief
Direct Relief International
International Medical Corps
IsraAID (Israel)
Japanese Red Cross
Jewish Federations of North America Japan Relief Fund
Philippine Red Cross