Food-Related Rant Of The Day

According to the governments of Canada and the United States, these cereals are considered health food. See, companies like General Mills pay oodles of money to use Health Check and similar symbols, apparently to tell parents that these products contain wholesome whole grain.

Because of ridiculous diet hypotheses, people in the world's wealthier nations are being told that grain, something absent in the diets of humans until fairly recently, should be the basis of the human diet and we should consume very little fat despite the fact that our brains are over 60% lard. In ultra-low fat diets promoted by Ancel Keys, Nathan Pritikin, General Mills spokesjoke (and Bachelor star) Dr. Travis Stork, and a host of anti-obesity activists, snacks like whole-wheat crackers and breakfast foods like Kix, Trix, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Fiber One, and Lucky Charms are what our kids should stuff their faces with.

With even 'healthy' choices like Raisin Bran and Shredded Wheat occupying a higher rung on the glycemic index than pure sugar, there's bound to be a crash after your body has produced so much insulin. Symptoms can include sleepiness, sudden hunger, irritability, and loss of concentration. What's more, a ton of kids cannot digest this stuff correctly, causing cramps, diarrhea, and general misery. Needless to say, such a child is not going to be quiet and still a couple hours after eating a big bowl of Sugar Smacks doused in skim milk.

Our kids' generation has seen an alarming rise in conditions associated with metabolic syndrome. High triglycerides, atherosclerosis, and type 2 diabetes are showing up in children, not to mention the myriad of previously-rare psychological ills.

Now, instead of giving our kids brain-and-body-building (and filling) fats and proteins, schools and health authorities insist that we serve them Ritalin with their Cookie Crisp.

Yummy.