Random Roofer : The Theives.

 Today I went to a pawnbroker to unload a Mustang Floater coat because it's been hanging in my closet for years and there's no way I'll ever fit into it again. While there, I saw what looked suspiciously like some tools I'd been involuntarily relieved of some time back. The man replied that he'd had the belt for three years and just puts random tools in them when I replied that the tools were also suspicious. To get me out of the store he claimed that they do not buy articles like I was offering. I had seen Floaters for sale there before and knew he was full of it, but if he didn't want a great deal on an easy sell item, it was his loss. 

I looked around the shop for a bit and the pawnbrokers had thought I had left. They started snickering about how they'd got one over on me and that the "three years" bit was genius. While guys, the joke's on you. I know that you bought my stolen tools. And you've seriously underpriced my $140 belt at the $35. I suppose you mustn't know the price of hardware when you're buying from crackheads and drunks. If you do not return my goods, please expect a call from the police Monday. Oh, and the Christian pawnbroker up the road bought the coat and is going to make a dandy markup. 

Have a nice day, idiots.