Product Review : Smart Water

Yesterday I was zipping all over the place, I was on the boogie. I ran into my mum's bff and he asked me to pick up her prescriptions later in the day. I stood in line, just bagged from work, but finally paid for mum's drugs. Coming out of the shop I needed liquid.

  I stopped by the cashier with my tube of toothpaste and my for meds and grabbed the closest clear thing calling itself water and paid.

  The water cost $2.09 . Smart Water.

    Water. I start chugging. N O refreshment. Look at the bottle.

"Distilled water with the flavour of minerals added."

 Really. The subsequent paragraphs made allusions to clouds and snow.

  I grew up in the place with 2 seasons (snow and construction) and I have consumed TONS of snow and most of it wasn't yellow.

  But the only water I have had that tasted like this was when my mum dared me to drin kthe water out of her steam iron.

  This Smart water wasn't fun water. It left an awkward taste in my house that would not go away.

  I'm walking home drinking more to hope that this odd taste would cure the previous oral regret.

  No luck.

  I never finished the bottle and it took drinking a litre of tap water to remove the horrendous bitterness of what makes me feel 100% stupid.

  Glaceau, you produce funky waters that I adore, but you missed the boat here. By trying to make yourself seem pure you have produced a form of H2O so bizarre nobody will consume it. Water that even my cat will not drink is not great, and neither is a water that nobody will buy again.

  For such Smart people, why would you produce a water that makes us feel so dumb?

P.S. - My cat wouldn't drink this and he spends at least 4 hours a day licking his balls. Just saying.