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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Bacon in Leviticus

This is bacon. And its sale is regulated or outright banned in a few countries due to Leviticus 11:7 and Qu'ran 2:173. It's consumption is forbidden by many religions, including Judaism, Islam, Jainism, Adventism, and more. But a crapload of homophobic, Bible-beating Baptists and other pious jerks eat it before, during, and after quoting from the Bible. Some of their favourites include Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13, which they claim justifies the demonization of gay people. To them, gay sex is considered an abomination, so therefore gay marriage must never occur.

Christians still eat bacon. And God is not happy about it.

This is an American football and it is made out of pigskin. Millions of Americans, play and watch this team sport. Mom may be rushing the kids to thrice-weekly practices and dad tossing the pigskin on Saturday. On Sunday, the good Christians rush home from church and grab a beer or soda and plop down in front of the boob tube to watch grown men get paid millions of dollars to play with a stuffed swine hide.

But Leviticus 11:8 prohibits touching the carcass of a pig. Rugby players, you're not off the hook either. You all play or pay to see someone play with the carcass of a Biblically prohibited, unclean animal. Think about that the next time you pray for your favorite club's victory.

This is a family garden. They come in a variety of sizes- ranging from tiny to massive, being a hobby  for some and a great provider of cheap, organic food for many. Churches often promote them through kids contests and preach about self-sustenance during sermons. More conservative Christian groups will grind their own wheat, can their own peas, dry beans, and make preserves. There are even still more people who plant a dozen rows of veggies as a project for the kids and to save a few dollars.

Sorry, mums, Leviticus 19:19 is taking your fun away. Planting more than one type of seed in the same field is verboten. You get all carrots or all cattle feed or onions or radishes or whatever. This god is a fan of monocropping, and he probably really digs Monsanto.

Now, I could give you dozens of examples of things that well-meaning, everyday Christians do that violate Leviticus. They get tattoos of crosses, trim their beards, and permanently sell their land while preaching hatred against their neighbours because that's what they have been taught to do. I don't care if two dudes or two ladies or two genderqueers want to get married- it's none of my business. I don't submit to 5000-year old logic (but I used to).

So if you've ever planted a garden, or played football, or enjoyed the honey ham at Christmas, you're breaking the rules too. You have no right to attempt to impose Biblical will on any other human being. Period.

If you want to live in a theocracy, any we know you do, move to Saudi Arabia or Uganda or the slew of other places where thousands-year-old beliefs rule the populace and eradicate freedom. While you're there, you can be beaten for taking a drink or work for the state. If you're really lucky, you can be forced to sell your daughter to her rapist. If any of these things don't sound pleasant to you, don't migrate there. You can stay in your bungalow in the suburbs with your little herb garden and bacon. And you can do so because every free nation must keep religion from dictating the laws that govern the entirety. Consider not just personal freedom, but your own behaviour the next time you say that gays are going to Hell.

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