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Saturday, October 31, 2009

More Infocrap Hideousness

I wear glasses and I've witnessed people wearing these fuckin Ovechkin hockey visor looking things and there is just NO WAY to look less than moronic in them . An old housemate of mine thought these things were awesome . Everyone else thought she looked handicapped .

This commercial cracks me up . The black dude seems to look the best in these things because he kinda looks like he might be into sports . And he still looks like a fucking dweeb . But the yenta cracks me up the most . I couldn't claim that I've mistaken 20 cents worth of low-grade plastic for Costas and keep a straight face. Yes , it's true , someone DID indeed design these , and I'm damn sure his name is not Oscar de la Renta .

These things are so hideous I wouldn't even regift them .

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Just in Time For Halloween

I was told of this , but I had to see it to believe it . Wal-Mart sells caskets ...and memorial jewelery ... even URNS for your granny or fido's cinders .


To add insult to Mom-and-Pop funeral homes everywhere , Wally World prefers to ship their ceremonial nap chambers to the shops. Now , if I owned a mortuary I would be offended by the obvious disrespect to both my small business and the dead . I mean how fucking cheap can you get?

If my family even CONSIDERS burying my bones in a discount store pine box I will HAUNT there asses for all of eternity . And not the romantic Ghost way , nor the quirky Beetlejuice manner .

I will go Poltergeist on their asses .
Torment WILL occur.

Even skinflint Sam Walton's substructure must be spinning (in a bed that did NOT cost $895) at the concept of his namesake becoming "Your One-Stop Shop For All Things Postmortem" .

Then again , if the box contains your brother-father-husband JimBob 's hand remaining after he blew himself up in the shed cooking Meth , it might just wax poetic .

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Let's Do This

Lash allure is a cosmetic eye enhancement product , and they have a best video contest .

$100 000 to change a life .

After scouring YouTube , I was captivated by this young man who adores his wife and truly belives in his vows. Watch the video - my words cannot do this beautiful man justice - and comment on his MySpace page here and on LashAllure's website here .

Let's get this viral - but nobody tell Branndon's beloved.

Sometimes A Blog Is Not Just A Blog

  1 year ago , a passionate man decided to get some shit off of his chest , and like many of our generation , he took to blogging . He was a little green and wasn't sure how many folks would want to hear his mental nuggets , but decided that his opinion should be out there for SOMEONE to see . And to the shock of a few and delight of many , it blew up . To this date , over 500 THOUSAND people have lined up to laugh , cry , cheer , sympathize , pass judgment , catch the latest outrages , and be informed of the blessings that life can hold . All of those things are beautiful on their own , but the greatest gift that Shane has given is his SPIRIT . He has encouraged those far less vocal than him or I to let it all out , to find their passion , to spread their loves and hates , to be HEARD . I have had a front-row seat for all of the emotions generated from a WORLD of different souls that have been inspired by a MAN . A recovering asshole , proudest FATHER , loving son , Shane possesses commonalities to all of us and offers himself up to your cheers and jeers on a daily basis . Wander on over (it's in the sidebar) and challenge yourself .

There are a host of reasons why I am humbly GREATFUL to have the opportunity to enjoy your wonderful soul . I look forward to another year , and hopefully many , of your growth as a renewed man . I have a sense of how therapeautic and cathartic bearing your soul can truly be and am continually inspired by your inquisitive nature , strength , and will to become a better example than you feel you were before.
You are a blessing , my man.
Happy Rebirthday Buddy!
I KNOW you will celebrate wisely.


Monday, October 26, 2009

Yummy Treat!

  Now , as every woman knows , men have invented every possible way of relieving the dreaded PMS . Nobody wants their beloved to turn into a moody , toaster-tossing , sobbing wreck of pain .
Advil , Tylenol , and Aleve were instantly targeted at the afflicted . Back in the day , they even had chocolate-coated Aspirin listed among the "famous" doctor's remedies sold at every druggist around . In days of olde , even Hardware Stores stocked such potions giving menfolk one-stop shopping  - tools for the boys and stuff to keep the old lady from using the tools on the fella . WIN.

Despite all of the wonderfully man-made concoctions , woman discovered the TRUE cure to all that ails - the FROZEN DESSERT . Be it Ben & Jerry's , Haagen-Dazs , a fancy sorbet , or even Tofutti ; there are as many flavours as there are states of intrauterine disturbance . And women DO buy up all of this cold , creamy spoonfed foodgasm they can get whenever a heinous attack of the blues or preggo insanity should surface .
And all has been well and good in the frozen land inhabited by newly-sedate domestic goddesses  so the Japanese , as industrious as they are , have come up with their submission to the Premenstual Hall of WTF.

Basahi Ice . Sounds pleasant - now what is it ?!

Well , it is a frozen confection with mouthwatering chunks of ...


I mean , bun-in-oven afflicted mamas might quip that they are so hungry they could eat a horse , but only the serious Japanese could believe this to be fact . I mean it's uncooked Mr . Ed for fuck sakes! At least cook the poor carcass before ...nevermind - the idea is still revolting. This might be why there's some ancient rule about not mixing meat and dairy .

OKAY , society that has no idea of who women are , leave OUR food the fuck alone . Seriously.
Or I might cry.
I will pay any of you $50 if you can find any of this stuff and eat it on webcam


  There are debates raging about doctor-assisted suicide - usually the will of G-d argument versus the will of a terminally ill human - and I'm not always sure where I stand on this . As far as I'm concerned , it is the choice of a person to end his or her life and while I can't really think of circumstances that would cause me to want to do this , I don't believe that it is always selfish or easy to go before the plug is pulled . 

But this blog isn't about assisted suicide . It's about assisted self-harm .

Right now in a Western country like ours , a depressed kid is getting the go-ahead to cut himself in full view of nurses and it's a government provided service . This is so wrong on every imaginable level . According to the British Medical Service , cutters are being ALLOWED to destroy themselves in a hospital or psych ward and will be provided medical care and even the intruments to mutilate their bodies in an effort for "safer self-harm".  They even have "care plans" detailing the circumstances under which they are allowed to do this .

Isn't that a wee tad contradictory ? Aren't nurses and doctors out there to help people heal as opposed to permitting futherance of a symptom of serious mental disease? Shouldn't the answer be "NO you damaged child , there are ZERO instances with which you should be given the "opportunity" to destroy your body and cause mental anguish to your families!"? And , think about it - would YOU want to be the medical professional sworn to protect life and limb that has to supervise this tragedy?

Cutting is not the only way in which people harm their G-d given bodies -
should we stand aside , speechless while :

People drink themselves into comas?
Insecure teens starve themselves until they are skeletal?
Mothers smoke meth in order to escape their marital unhappiness?
Human beings take their own lives for no good reason?

Where is the line here? I'm confused about this whole disturbing circumstance .

Mental health problems are very real and enabling people to act out destructively is the antithesis to a real treatment plan.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Bookmarketing - Selling Internet Integrity One Tweet At A Time

The social networking phenomena have blown up in recent years enabling users to send photos , links and general messages to friends and meet new people . It's almost natural business can't leave well enough alone - they have to grab a chunk of the pie . There are hundreds of MySpace "friend" adder sites that are mainly used to add Mafia Wars buddies or to promote indie bands and because one has to approve their new "friends" , it's pretty harmless.

Then there is uSocial .

uSocial is a big business based in Australia that offers all kinds of services targeted mainly at businesses . For around $1200 , they will spam the fuck out of Facebook until 10,000 people agree to become your "fan" . They will also find you target "friends" for you to incessantly annoy . I have made the mistake of accidentally adding people who wind up filling my inbox with spam . It's a pain in the ass .

Their Twitter service is much the same and partially banks on some people using auto-follow programs with the remainder being people who will add anyone who asks . Once you follow back , the the fun REALLY begins . Expect a flood of Direct Messages and requests to advertise on your website or blog . I'm not sure how they can guarantee it , but uSocial claims to be able to get you 100,000 followers for the low , LOW , price of $4970. Using a "mathematical" system developed by uS , such a package should generate about $120,000 annually for your business , but there has been no proof of this. I NEVER buy from spammers and neither does anyone I know . I think this is at best wishful thinking , and at worst fraudulent. But that's not all...

The worst thing that uSocial does is the selling of guaranteed front-page space on several sites , including StumbleUpon and Digg , for the sole purpose of advertising businesses. That's right - you or I or the geek down the street could author the article of a fucking LIFETIME and it can get booted in favour of " Bill's Yoga Palace Announces a Price Reduction" , provided Bill forks out a few hundred dollars for the honour. They claim to not sell votes on bookmark sites , but when uSocial launched about a year ago , that was the ONLY service offered . This is an absolute kick in the balls to journalistic integrity . Independent journalists have a tough enough time navigating the jungle without having spammers get all of the top spots. It's just not fair .

uSocial is not the only service that sells votes and space , but they are the most dominant Twitter and Facebook spam enablers.

About the best things to be done are to simply block the spammers and when the little guy writes something epic , Digg the fuck out of it . It's about the best solution until the Bookmark sites can boot Bookmarketers for good.

Watch This

This ad came out last year in Canada and it's awesome , or it was unitl some uptight people had it pulled .

Yes , I know it's for a big , faceless corporation , etcetera , etcetera .

Just watch it.

This Is NOT Fox News

Hockey is a fast and entertaining game with awesome fans and while it's not a Canadian invention , Canucks are certainly the Game's ambassadors . Large amounts of time and money have been spent to spread the word internationally with success . You'd think that Americans would jump all over the game and boost it like mad considering the fact that hockey used to be very big south of the 49th . But they haven't and I think I know one fundamental(ist) reason .

Don Cherry .

He's supposed to be a sports commentator but uses his taxpayer-paid position to talk about whatever hatred that this grandiose buzzkill wishes with relative impunity because he's some sort of "icon" to minimally literate hosers . If you or I spoute the racist filth , we'd get fired but if you're Don Cherry , you get a raise . He's a divisively racist sexist moron and Amerks look at HIM as a representation of typical Canada . He pisses and moans about "dirty Europeans" like a busted record when it's plain to see that he has to descend from immigrants . But , oh yeah , they're IRISH , which in Don's amoeba-sized brain means superior . He blathers continuous hatred for anything resembling fun - players smiling , celebrating or even scoring more goals than Don thinks is "proper" and "Canadian" will put you on Douchebag's shit list , especially if you come from Moscow or Helsinki . Tonight he went after Shane O'Brien for using an excercise bike to wind down after games because we all KNOW that only fags care about their health. He's even ripped on players who donate their time and money to environmental charities and LOVES to remind viewers of the glory of Baby Jesus . I'm not kidding. If you're not a drinking , fighting , soccer-hating , G-d fearing Christian you're not a real Canadian and just won't get it .

His "Coach" persona is highly inflated . When he coached in Colorado his players hated him and he even attacked one of his charges. He decided to buy a junior hockey team and then refused to employ ANY European player . The bigot got bit by karma as the team finished dead last in the league continuously and was the OHL's laughing stock . The season he did coach , his team only won 11 games.
But none of this really matters. There are oodles of shitty television personalities out there - Fox has made an existence out of employing wingnuts - and people can basically say whatever they want and be shitty role models if they choose . Privately owned networks have the freedom to employ any bigot they choose .

But the CBC is owned by the Canadian TAXPAYERS - that's right , it's a PUBCLICLY owned National entity and as such should not be paying someone to degrade their citizens . Americans look at this fuckhead and have negative opinions of a country and a sport . And not just that - Don and Ron are given (I'm not gonna call it "earning") enormous amounts of taxpayer money to irritate and alienate Canada as a whole .
Both of these bozos make more money than the CBC's head news anchor , and that's horrendous . These tools prattle for roughly 15 minutes a week and Mr. Mansbridge anchors the nightly news AND has another program on the network . I have absolutely ZERO problem with The Man getting $500,000 annually as he's the main dude and has been bringing the good and bad for decades . The honchos at CBC don't like the idea of Frick and Frack's salaries being published lest the taxpayers get pissed off at the $1.5 million wasted on these turds . TAXPAYERS SHOULD BE PISSED OFF! Our hard-earned dollars are being blown on an overly emotional neanderthal who has a difficult time forming coherent sentences and his wimpy , airheaded "straight man". Think of how many decent ambassadors to the game and country that could be hired for significantly less . They are vestiges of an era when the game was the winter occupation of illiterate construction workers . They are scaring off new fans  and shamelessly teaching children to hate . And Don , people aren't laughing WITH you .

Get these retreads off the air

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Voice : Cameron Rafati

I was introduced to this wonderful true artist by a mutual friend and was immediately captivated . Cameron Rafati is not only a nice guy , but he possesses a voice that is a true gift from God and he uses it wisely . Upbeat or mellow , fun or introspective , he blends some traditional and newer musical elements to perfection and overpowers them with his fantastic range and passion . Every time I hear one of his songs it resonates for hours , and even days .

Here's his newest , just dropped today . Cam also offers up his newest album for your listening pleasure on . If you wander around my site for a bit you can also find him in the sidebar.


True American Hero .

This GrandMAN is a white Christian Republican , and you folks out there THINK you know what he is going to say .

And you will probably be WRONG.

Watch and learn and prepare for the tears that this glorious being will bring you to .

I cannot find the words in any language to describe this tough yet graceful elder human .

There are infinite reasons why the elders are revered in most societies and us privileged free people must heed the words of those who have witnessed the unspeakable and triumphed. The thoughts and actions of heroic people such as Philip Spooner should NEVER die .

I am in absolute AWE.

Thank you , Sir.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Premature Celebration

Funny - Funny Videos
Do watch the first minute and a half of this .

This Homecoming Game play has to be the greatest FAIL in amateur Football history .

Man , I'd hate to be the jumping jacks in white , but I'm hella enjoying being a spectator .


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Music's Feel-Good Story Is Just Beginning

Susan Boyle was a virtual unknown outside of her hometown before she shocked the PLANET by wailing like few people can on "Britain's Got Talent" . Naturally , people were pleasantly shocked by this not-so-pretty woman with the voice of an angel .
But what would those recording company snobs do with someone who isn't a size 4 flippant tart?
Women like Susan Boyle don't get recording contracts - they just DON'T .

Ms. Boyle has a new full-length album coming out on November 23rd that's primarily cover tunes , but the range is diverse . And it is going to sell BIG. If Amazon pre-sale numbers mean anything , Susan Boyle will outsell all of those Idol's Holiday albums COMBINED.

Susan Boyle will have the number 1 record on the Planet . People will line up for the next shipment like teens awaiting J.K. Rowling's (BTW , another working-class brit until she blew up) latest Potter tome . Men and women young and old will by this for themselves , for their mum , for the mailman! This will be the #1 holiday gift item . Susan Boyle will never have to worry about doing a crappy day job again and she deserves it.

Even she couldn't dream of this.

Hate By Any Other Name on Twitter

The previous post (that is , the post now directly below this one) was of course complete satire . But those who are out to strip your liberties can and do spew similar diatribes in Churches all over North America . A friend alerted me to a church service in the town I reside conducted by a man that the town respects who went on a similar rant taking extra care to inform the residents of a town with around 10 Jews that they are filthy and G-d wants these innocent people DEAD .

This was in a church in BRITISH COLUMBIA , not Alberta , not the Deep American South . But it's refrain is heard in places large and small . The people of Fred Phelps' infamous picketing pogrom known as the Westboro Baptist Church are naturally vicious and truly evil , but their outward hatred is simply a mirror of what a disturbingly increasing percentage  of the super "religious" truly believe .  Their God Hates Fags Website is a disturbing reminder of the menace that decent folks of all faiths and none face today and in the future . Unlike what they preach , gays and jews don't recruit , but the neoplastic Nazis does without shame or concern for the people that they harm . They have terrorized the families of deceased soldiers , paediatric AIDS patients , women's advocates , and murdered hate crime victims .  They even tried to picket the funeral of a murdered Aboriginal man in Manitoba , but were rightfully refused entrance into Canada .
His internet savvy kids (he has 11 , most of whom are poster children for birth control) have even acquired accounts on social networking sites such as Twitter .

One of them is a good guy named Nathan ( Twitter : n8phelps ) who wants nothing to do with his pop's hateful cause despite all of the familial ramifications and I wish him no scorn whatsoever . He has exposed his dad's evil deeds and now lives in Canada safe from the horrific people who shaped his youth  . I would like to say that the majority of Fred's kids are like Nate , but they are not .

Fred's chosen tweeters are Megan Phelps-Roper (not to be confused with equally vicious sister Shirley of the same hyphenated surname) and Steve Drain of the Phelps sister site . Megan seems to spend her time sending hateful messages and videos to prominent Jews and Athiests while Steve likes to videotape protests and scream at elderly Chasidim for entertainment .  While i will not fully understand what fuels these people's misfired anger , I suspect that abuse , self-hatred, and brainwashing are the likely culprits .  They are so consumed by darkness that they must spread the virus to as many people as they can in order to feel valid as human beings . I was trolling Twitland a few days ago and came across the following video as well as others of the ilk being heavily promoted by Megan Phelps-Roper at the behest of the Westboro Baptist Church .

Keep in mind people , this is NOT a joke . These people are using this and their other videos as tools to recruit weak minds and torment people they do not know.

There is some irony here considering they were using parts of a song that was co-written by a man whose long-time wife and children are Jewish , and that the song began as a campaign song for prominent psychedelic drug proponent and Hindu convert Timothy Leary . This , naturally is lost on people too stupid to actually read up on the origins of the content they use for self-promotion .

It could be argued that the Westoboro Baptist Church is more of an enemy to itself than any of us "fags" ever could be .

Links for your perusal

Video Testing - The WBC Video Site

God Hates Fags - The WBC Main Site

Priests Rape Boys - The WBC Anti-Catholic Website has links to other WBC sister sites like and Steve Drains favourite

Be forewarned , some of these sites contain material of a controversial and adult nature , but to know the enemy , you must know how they think and what they believe

Let's Make America A Christian Nation

What if the USA really was REALLY a Christian nation?
What would that mean?
What would this country become if it was?
Well first of all if The USA was a Christian nation things would REALLY HAVE TO change.

The first thing we would have to do is change the Constitution! To remove the separation of church and state clause. If the USA were a Christian nation then why would there be a NEED FOR a separation of the church and the state?

Then I can see few more changes. To be a Citizen of the USA you would have to be a Christian because if the USA is a Christian nation every American would and should have to be a Christian.

The motto would obviously have to change then too because “in God we trust” is not correct -- it would have to be “in Jesus Christ we trust.” This is obvious because Christians believe in Jesus Christ not just God.

No one could or should be allowed immigrate to the USA unless they are a Christian.

This is plain to see too - a Christian nation would only have only Christian immigrants .

Only Christians can work for the US Government. The US is a Christian nation and only Christians are real Americans so only American Christians should be allowed to work for the US Government.

Same for the military and get them women out of the military. they should not be in there in the first place.

English would be the official language of the USA and all of it's Christians.

Because the King James Holy bible is written in English so that must be right.

We should expel all non -Christians.

We might make allowances for Jews because they were God's Chosen ones before, but not any more . Make it the "Don't ask , don't tell" kinda deal.

Hari Krisnas
pagans ... all the rest, you know em.

they are not a REAL believers in the REAL God, so out they must go.

Lets talk about Catholics now.

Everyone knows that the Catholic Church is referred to in Revelations as the Great Whore.

So they should go to.

Lets talk about Jehovah Witnesses everyone knows they are not real Christians either. They believe only like 100,000 people are going to God . This is retarded - God is limitless.

Lets talk about Mormons they are not really Christians either. Remember the false prophets thing?

What about Episcopalians? They are really just British Catholics.

I think that maybe the Southern Baptists are OK and but what about the Northern Baptists? We gotta watch em . They hang with Negroes.

The Charismatic Christians and Pentecostal Christian churches are ALL OK.

Well maybe the snake charming Pentecostals are iffy. We all know that the snake is Satan , so we gotta watch em.

Think of the great things Christianity can do if the USA were really a Christians nation.

Make all public schools truly Christian church schools because after all, all Americans are Christians.

Remove all Non - Christian literature from all libraries.

Heck only the Bible and Christian books about the bible should be allowed in a real Christian nation's libraries.

Remove all non-Christian TV programing.

Why, we could make the 700 club the new public TV station.

Make Hollywood into the new JesusChristwood.

Burn all those old movies and TV copies. they are all unchristian anyway. If it ain't Christian it ain't any good for us Americans.

Make it illegal for all women to work outside the home - barefoot and pregnant is what God intended for them after all.

Make it illegal for all women to go to school. what do they need a education for? They need to cook and sew and maybe milk the cows and work the farms but not much else.

Make it illegal for all women to vote, the men know whats best and are the head of the households anyway.

If the woman can't drive then they cant go out and get into trouble and it would be easier to keep them home anyway, since that is where they belong.

Make women cover up! Modesty is what god wanted from woman anyway.

Maybe even birkas.. maybe them Muslim men do know a something about how to make women modest and docile.

Lets talk about the gays, lesbians, bi-sexual, trans-sexuals .
Lets get rid of them too they ain't real Americans/Christians anyway. Make us god-fearing people wanna puke

You know all those Mexicans are Catholics so kick them out too

all them native Americans are pagans also so out they go

The Chinese and Japanese are too

....The viet namies too

....The Koreans

.....hell all the Asians out they go!

They are not the real American Christians anyway.

Now we are getting somewhere!

How about the Negros.

They are not the real white Americans Christians either.

Mexican, blacks (colored?), Asians.... now we are really getting this place cleaned up and made into a real Christian USA.

those Irish are either Catholics or Episcopalians so lets get them out too

what about the Italians they are Catholics too damm them.

The Turks are eastern Catholics let's get them out too

the Russians are too and if they are not , they are commies and a commie don't got no god.

And all their eastern block neighbors too damm them!

Yeah no commies at ALL so get the Cubans out.

Heck the Argentinians too.

Those Brazilians are godless people too.

They are either Catholics or pagans damm it.

Kick them out too.

Hell all them damm foreigners are dangerous to the USA so lets kick em all out

and the damm UN too.

The hell with NATO, screw them Europeans.

Hell all them democrats ain't Christians either, they are pinko commies and anti Christians so lets kick them out too

The dammed abortion lovers, kickem out. The doctor men are murderers so off to the gas chamber for them godless beasts.

the divorced people too they ain't real Christians.

You know shipping them overseas would be expensive and so very wasteful and a wrong use of god's money so just kill em all! they are all going to hell anyway so let's just speed em along their way.

git'er dun.

Now we are really getting somewhere.

Praise the Lord.

Hell lets just Nuke em all and let God sort em out.

Maybe them KKK, and the Nazis were right all along.

We need to Make this a real white American Christian nation.

Yes praise the lord.
And may Jesus come back soon.

Hell he might just land here instead of Israel if we CAN GET ALL OF THIS DONE IN HIS NAME.

Halleluiah, thank you JESUS.

I can feel the holy spirit moving in my veins right now!

Think of what we could do!

Monday, October 19, 2009

رأس الحانوت‎ Ras El Hanout : Soup Chronicles

Ras El Hanout basically means "head (as in the top) of the shop" for lack of a better term because it's basically all of the best spices one has on hand in one mix up . Everyone who doesn't have an old Moroccan souk handy mixes their own , and there can be a zillion different things in it , including some very intoxicating and illegal ingredients . Most of the blends are closely guarded secrets , but I'm nice enough to share mine . One can add this to meatballs , tagine (in all of it's forms) , couscous , or rub down a roast and you will experience something truly awesome . Even tofu or a veggie kebab will sing (probably "thank G-d I have flavour!) when given a dusting of this magnificent concoction. I periodically alter this , but this is generally the combination .
(Please" , for me , don't use it as a pork rub , no matter if you see it in an online recipe . It's an insult to those who use it daily. )

These quantities are approximate as I use the palm-and-eyeball method

Oh , and don't use all of this in one dish . It won't kill you but I don't want to be responsible if it does. You can infinitely multiply this

1 table Turmeric
1 table Celery Seed
1 table Ground Coriander
2 teas Standard Paprika
1-2 teas Hot (or Smoked) Paprika
1-2 teas Cumin (pre-ground or DIY)
1-2 teas ground Nutmeg
1-2 teas mustard powder
1-2 teas Ground Ginger
1 tea Black Peppercorns (grind if you like)
1 tea chili powder
1/2 to 1 tea Ground Cloves if you aren't going to grind your own
Get out your spice grinder and pulse
1 Star Anise
1 stick Cinnamon
2 Dried Small Red Chiles
1 tablespoon Pickling Spices
1-2 teas Hyssop (Hyssopus Officinalis , available at heath food stores because it cures everything . You could substitute Thyme if you are lazy)

At your discretion , grind a few Cloves and the seeds from a Cardamom and fire it in the brew . I have also been known to put Lemongrass powder , Garam Masala or Saffron into this. If you have Lavender growing around your crib , you can dry it and add it too .

Keeps for at least a month . Do NOT store this or any spice within 3 metres (10 feet) of your stove if you can help it . It turns them wimpy fast .


There are some people who are timeless . There are some people who are inspiring . And then there's Kitty Cohen . She is 97 years young and is an endurance walker who raises money for cancer research by engaging in the "Walk For The Cure" type of events . Last October she walked 60 kilometres over a weekend to raise funds and while young people were winded by the end , she DANCED across the finish line . She's now featured in an inspiring commercial for the heralded Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto and when I get the ad , I'll post it . But , for now , we have this amazing bubby doing what she loves to do - dancing! In this instance with Moti Kotzer's dancing mamas .

This beautiful woman is too incredible for words.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Smell Of The Times

I was at the druggist hunting for shower stuff when I was faced with an overwhelming WALL of shampoos , conditioners , and things that are so beyond me. Tangle free, Normal , Dandruff , etc . I was incredibly confused nearly to the point of panic . They had no "Heeb Weave" shampoo - does this exist? If not , someone should invent it . They would make millions off of insecure people who possess hair that changes moods like your diabetic Bubby .
Anywho , I was scared off by the whole thing and decided to hunt down some body wash - Men's of course , since I have the illusion that it removes construction crap better . Plus , you won't induce sneezing fits in your coworkers . WIN .
Wandering through the vast array my eyeballs spotted THIS

This has to be the WORST idea for a men's product line EVER .

When I think of a "game day" , I envision big , burly football and hockey players getting really smelly , really quickly .
Game Day scent has to be a combination of mud , armpit , and that weird mould that grows underneath the 10-year-old pair of Douglas shoulder pads that your favourite Tackle or Defense man has nursed since college .

This is anti-advertising . People are going to psychosomatically smell Cooperall pant funk without so much as opening the cap to discover a scent that is more homoerotic than UFC Fight Night .

I bought Irish Spring instead .

Thursday, October 15, 2009

You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me!

While the debate over whether or not legalizing gay marriage is a hot button issue in some parts of the West , people often draw comparisons to the pre-1967 anti-miscegenation laws . Those laws that affected the vast majority of States in the Nation , prohibited certain racial "classes" from marrying members of certain others as determined by the laws of each individual state. The overturning of such laws has been heralded as the indisputable argument that minority marriages won't end the World as we know it .

But what IF someone banned blacks and whites from becoming Mr. and Mrs. Tiger Woods ? If you think that's impossible , think again .

In Louisiana there is a Justice of the Peace named Keith Bardwell and he refuses marriage licenses to interracial couples . His Crow-era reasoning is the age-old "But what about the CHILDREN?!" argument . In Mr. Bardwell's narrow mind , marriage equals children and multiracial children will be rejected by all of society . But he's quick to point out that despite the fact that He "don't believe in mixing races that way" , Mr. Bardwell is NOT a racist and he pulls the old "but I have black friends" argument . This is bullshit spewed by typical bigots and variations of the statement are out there with references to some one's not-so-secret views of any particular group they don't really dig . People invoke the stupid verbiage with references to gays , women , and all kinds of minorities , and it is no less bigoted than saying "Heil Hitler!" . Mr. Bardwell has proudly refused to marry several couples and has no intentions of being inclusive because he is consumed by closeted hatred. Sugar-coated bullshit spewing Keith Bardwell is an unabashed bigot and he should be removed from public office .

Ugh , Canada

Watch live video from roofchick on

I am very tired , but I still have a few words about the freedoms (or lack) therof TRULY awarded in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms .


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Chew On This

Kids , this is Chew By Numbers , a Bubblegum "Art" kit similar to the 70's standby using chewed-up gum instead of paint . Apparently , using gum as an artistic medium came into the limelight around 10 years ago , but I think it's just fucking gross. There's even an advert on the website offering completed pieces for sale .

Who the FUCK wants to BUY someone's saliva-saturated cardboard creation ?!

The ready-to-play kits are directed at parents of young children under the guise of improved motor control , among other things . Thing is , if kids can stick their gum on a board , they are gonna think the wall , the table and little sister are fair game if they don't already . How can you give your kid shit for drawing an outline on the bathroom wall and sticking stuff to it if you're letting Little Johnny do it elsewhere?

Still , if this doesn't bother you too much , it's still saliva , and what if Little Johnny has a cold or rabies?

I overthink things sometimes.

Pickle Of The Week : Free Heroin

In Vancouver , the safe-injection sites have come under fire despite preventing numerous deaths from Heroin and Meth overdoses . The program will likely expand and there are those who are for and against the idea because drug possesion is technically illegal and that makes it a hot button issue . Addicts all over the Planet have been given narcotic Methadone "treatment" for eternities with varying but fairly low rates of success .
Since Methadone is an addictive opiate anyways , why not just give them Heroin instead??

Well , that's what the British Government is doing . That's right , kids - they are injecting hardcore addicts with uncut Smack for free in hopes of getting them off of the drug . While , I'll admit , the idea of not having junkies shitkick you for the $20 in your pocket might seem like a good idea , I'm not sure using taxpayer dollars to permit people to get high is the right way to go. Uberjunkies aren't gonna stop with just the Federally-injected fix , they'll want more and more . It's just a freebie for those folks. The program seems to have effect as a methadone substitute for people who want to do the taper-down quitting method , which seems fair enough . It's also cheaper than treating someone with advanced HIV disease on Disability or locking pathetic people in Prisons where they would be sure to be victimized. That being said , giving free dope to people who have no desire for recovery seems to be awarding bad behaviour and an admission of governmental defeat . The junkies are such chemically-induced scum that even the government is terrified of them . I think such an admission will undermine the view of law enforcement in public society , and nobody respects wimpy cops . I know that addiction is very real , but I have confused feelings about programs like this . Also , if Canada follows suit , will the Feds give out Crystal and Crack as well?

I have a lot of questions .

What's YOUR take?

FOX Does NOT Rock

Fox Sports , like it's parent company , is not exactly the bastion of higher intelligence nor inclusivity , so it really shouldn't come as a shock when they include juvenile cartoons as part of their sports broadcasts .
Fine and dandy , go on and cater to the lowest common denominator , but including a slam on admitted non-athlete Jessica Simpson is a classless attempt at promotion , and Fox fucking KNOWS this . This spineless slam has no place during family entertainment and alienates half of the average family . It's also sponsored by BURGER KING - that's right , BK of the gut-rotting , aorta terrifying fame . I mean , dumb FAT jock wannabes should look in the fucking mirror. Most male football players and fans are grossly overweight - just look at the dietary choices endorsed by pro players and consumed by their fans . According to the NFL's OWN figures , over 50% of pros are obese. You don't see hockey players or hoops stars endorsing 3 patty burgers en masse . You just don't .
This all sends a confusing message to micromen that they can do what they wish , but women must be unhealthily thin to be valid . It's okay in the man's world to pick on mom or little sister for eating a burger when sonny boy can have a BK Stack . And if your girlfriend doesn't look a certain way , well your buddies have full license to rip on YOU for not keeping her "in line".

It's hypocritical , sexist , mean , uncreative garbage that is entirely unfunny and capitalizes on every boy's worst insecurities. It uses someone's fame as a starting point for ridicule . This is not satire , it's fucking stupid and crass.
And we expect nothing less from the network that employs such luminaries as Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly .

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Blog On Demand : Bumb Darts

There is a "classic" game known in rural Canadian circles for generations that has become part of the party crowd.

The game is called "Bumb Darts" and it's pretty simple . It's a rudimentary version of beer bong with your ass as the paddle and a Loonie or beer cap as the ball .

Bumb (or simply Bum) Darts apparently originated amongst a bunch of bored hockey nuts in Manitoba in 1964 . The game , like most booze/frat party related games has a few universal rules and a great many more that may vary from city or college . The essentials involve placing some sort of "starting line " from whence the "player" must commence , preferably with ass hair in full view . It has been reported that waxing may be of a beneficial factor if using a shiny coin like a quarter by some competitive cats , although I'd never admit to being involved in such a "sport". One must take the object in ass cheeks to a cup or other vessel after the scoot and then drop it , trying in best ability to place the coin and no other "frienemies" in said vessel . The person with the most "bullseyes" (o.k , sidebar - why hasn't anyone called them browneyes yet) wins .

Varying prizes await the winner and the loser usually has to imbibe the questionable booze . EWWWWW I'm having a girlie moment here - if my brain is telling me correctly , the loser must "indulge" in every strain of Crypto , Hepatitis , and My-Mom-is-my-Grannitis known to man or beast . I'd personally rather lick the assholes of some hot but questionable models , oh wait , they might be part of it ..

Sign me up.

The video below is of several North Vancouver Ski Patrol Asses engaging in the pants-on version for posterity . Oh , and it's an actual sanctioned competition . This is Canad'as National pastime after hockey and lacrosse. (OK, I'm full of shit about the last sentence , but that's it.)

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Rex Rips Whoopi

Hollywood's Strange Morals | CBC News:The National

Sometimes , someone else says it better , and often times it's Canadian brainiac/funnyman Rex Murphy . He hits every part of what we are all thinking about the Polanski incident's public outcry and then some . I don't always agree with Rex , but he always puts forth an educated argument and he is worth the google.


P.S. , the Orange text above is a link , you have to click it . I KNOW , that's work . Trust me , it's worth it.

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Blog On Demand - All Hail Pineapple!

According to a decade of teenagers and the twat on E! , eating copious quantities of PINEAPPLE will make a lady's vijay pleasantly aromatic , so like a good little perv , I decided to check out a few opinions far more educated than mine to figure out if there is any validity to the adage .

It should be noted that kosher or treif in the basement factor is a highly subjective thing as people really do have different preferences . People are naturally more or less funky due to natural variation and a variety of other factors , but I'm curious as to one thing ...

Who gets to test this out??!! Do the smeller or smellee get PAID to do this ?! I really have to find out because I'm pretty certain that unhygienic "subjects" would not be signing up to have their oysters scrutinized in such an intimate way . And if someone was going to pay me to rate vag , I might just be forced to do the dirty task . After all , it's for science .

From what the sexperts say , Asparagus make guy's goo universally funky , but who really goes around smelling spermies ? I don't and neither do you . But , WOMEN , on the other hand are insecure after hundreds of years of bad fish jokes likely invented by some uptight missionary obsessed with his position . We have this intrinsic need to KNOW these things . On a personal level , i have only encountered a couple of fetid muffins and I'm pretty sure that what they had for dindin had ZERO to do with the mosquito-repellent factor.

For the science nerds out there , certain things can and do have an effect on the mustiness of the crawlspace . The worst offenders are asparagus , garlic (personally , I would find the garlic irresistible ) , and multivitamins rather predictably . But you might not know that most bar soaps affect Ph levels so drastically that you might want to consider just going with water or finding a low-Ph soap . Douches and (sorry , boys) leftover spermies can have a very nasty effect on Ph , so hop in the shower after the boogie , and you should be fine .
For the positive stuff , red wine might be the healthiest thing going for keeping the nasties away . Lemons , coffee , and yogurt are also good for the Ph levels . And a healthy pussy is a happy one .

And there are foods known to directly have effects on the goings-on . For example , there is truth to the hippies' T-Shirts . Vegetarians DO indeed taste sweeter . Meat is rotting flesh , and adds a bitterness to the juices and is true for both men and women . Heavy smoking , heavy dairy products , and too much coffee (balance here) are also reported to have negative effects across the board . Diets rich in citrus fruits and veggies with the singular exception of the dreaded asparagus are primo , so pineapple is most certainly in ! Go for loads of green veg and a variety of fruits in your diet . Plus , all of those antioxidants in things like blueberries and strawberries are good for the body . And a healthy , energetic you means that your lucky recipient will have lots of reasons to smile .

Tailor-Fit Tragedy

Every pro sport has experimented with the idea of throwback uniforms . Some are real winners that wind up being modified and returned to everyday use , like the Washington Capitals decided to do and Ovechkin looks mighty fine in these 80's-inspired threads . The patriotic look of DC's team should never have been messed with in the first place. This is how to reintroduce an old look for a new generation of stars.

And here is the newest reason why the old shouldn't always come back . This poor soul is Denver Bronco's Quarterback Kyle Orton and his svelte physique looks BEST in these horrifying unis . It goes without saying that the larger linemen are an amplification of this diarrhea-inspired travesty . I get it , they were trying to celebrate the anniversary of the AFL by reverting to these garments that probably made all the seamstresses (or tailors) vomit or cry .
If the colour scheme reminiscent of the content of an ill infant's Huggies isn't bad enough , (and trust your eyes , it's horrendous ) the long , striped socks could induce nausea in a trash collector or a seisure in the epileptic .
These threads were originally designed by a cheap owner who wanted unis that could be worn at home as well as the road , but still , are those STRIPES REALLY NECCESSARY ? And while their opponents looked pretty slick , this whole deal really shouldn't have happened in the first place since the AFL and NFL merged in 1970.

The majority of "Throwback" jerseys were thrown away for damn good reason . Vancouver changed to these 1970's-style jerseys permanently , and they look like mobile mould and have a playoff record to match . If I was Mats Sundin and had to come back for another hurrah wearing these awful snuggies-from-hell on a permanent basis , I'd retire too.

There needs to be a leash put on these decisions made solely to capitalize on nostalgia and the buying power of the average sports fan . You see , us jocks are voluntarily retarded and will buy a TOILET SEAT if it sports our team's insignia from 1902 . The fact that the team may have been in a different city or even COUNTRY as in the case of The Expos/Nationals or Atlanta/Calgary Flames does not matter to us stupids and we need to be protected from ourselves lest we require protection from our wives when the credit card statements come in . We're powerless over our sports addiction and this is like waving an 8-ball in front of a Blowtard .

Plus , after running through all of the cool old jerseys , they are recycling stitched slander and that's just cruel to the eyeballs .

Remember - Throwback = Thrown Away

Friday, October 9, 2009

WTBlueFUCK of the Weak

There are as many opinions on abortion as there are people walking the Earth , and while I may not agree with a given point , most people are able to articulate their point of view . There are polar opposite as well as grey area views expressed here , and I'm open to hear your side of this or any other issue . The one overwhelming consensus is that NOBODY agrees with murdering doctors , nurses , or cliens of medical facilities who take a calculated risk because of extremists .

The Christian-gone-insane element of this generation has made it their political raison d'etre to use their belief system to overthrow secular freedom and for the most part , they were put on the back bench . Until now . The extremist domestic tyrannical thinking has come to the foreground and is hell-bent on removing your freedom to choose to be who G-d really wants you to be in your interpretation . People are fabulously diverse , passionate , hopeful , wonderful beings with free will .

Free thinkers are the enemy of this renewed fascist element and Oklahoma is now using a new law that will require taxpayers to pay for an "abortion registry."

A registry of each procedure for any reason will be published on the INTERNET with very specific details that could readily identify women in their hometowns marking them for humiliation or worse . This CANNOT have a happy ending .

Here Are The Questions Required to Have An Abortion That Will Be Subsequently Posted On The Internet

1. Date of abortion
2. County in which abortion performed
3. Age of mother
4. Marital status of mother (married, divorced, separated, widowed, or never married)
5. Race of mother
6. Years of education of mother (specify highest year completed)
7. State or foreign country of residence of mother
8. Total number of previous pregnancies of the mother
9. Number of pregnancies that ended in live births
10. Number of pregnancies that ended in miscarriages
11. Number of pregnancies that ended in induced abortions

This law is another Bible-beating way to shame women into unwanted pregnancies . Notice that there are no questions related to if the "mother" (yes , nice guilt-inducing wording ) is having the procedure due to being raped by her drunken Uncle . There's no "I'm addicted to drugs and don't want to have a meth baby " deal either . But they REALLY want you to know that all their beautiful white babies are being "murdered" .

There is no way that this law could do ANY public good. In fact , expect a lot more women being shitkicked or at the very least stalked because of this horrifying abuse of information . The only purpose for this law is to shame women into forced motherhood and to torment the doctors who perform abortions . What about privilege ? Can't these shamed people sue ? Isn't there some HIPA Law? And what about the obvious consequences of secret farmer abortions ?

Oh yeah , I forgot , they're only women in Christian Middle America .

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Soup Chronicles : Side Dish Orgasm

I have been having a lot of personally crappy days , but I'm trying not to be a bitch about it and maybe even stop being so fucking serious at work before I fucking kill someone . Anywho , for those of you who don't know me well , I love to cook and it's my choking-the-fucking-life-out-of-Tardog prevention therapy .

Here's my menu for the evening . So easy a roofer can do it , okay maybe not Tim . Yes , this will provide many uses for the SlapChop or Magic Bullet your mother gave you and you can make this stuff while tending to your protein choice .

Baked Sweet Potato Squash to impress , um , someone

Find Sweet Potato Squash (or Acorn , or whatever) and wash it well . You don't have to peel the tips off of your fingers .

Cut off both ends (toss these)and cut the rest in half lengthwise without adding any extra protein to the board.

Remove seeds and cut into chunks . You can get artistic here and don't forget to get your oven happy at 210C (400ish Fahrenheit)

lightly crease a pan of somesort with oil, butter , or your sister's hair gel and set squash stuff in there . This may vary in size due to how hungry you are .

Try to peel a one inch cube of ginger and cloves of garlic . Put in spice grinder or beat with a fairly clean shingle hatchet and add to pan along with 1 tbsp brown sugar and some salt and pepper. Add 1/2inch of water for the steam action .

Toss the squash in the works and try not to get too much on the floor . Cover the pan with foil and pray for 20-30 minutes . After it is somewhat tender , reseason , oil and bake until yummy . You can also add brown sugar and/or nutmeg here or oilive oil and oregano , both are awesome!

Get On The Spuds while You wait

Peel a bunch of russet potatoes and then chop into decent sized cubes .

Boil in a large pot with a few inches of water as well as some salt and pepper . Yes , you have to season the water , it's just better that way Boil slightly unovered until near tender . while you are doing this , you can chop finely 1/3to1/2 an onion and saute until pretty as well as puree 2 cloves of garlic and set aside .

Boil spuds until quite tender but not soupy . This may take a few efforts to perfect before you try to impress that hottie or your mama .

Remove most of the water (you can save it as a cream soup base) and turn off the heat but keep pot on hot element (reduce to very low if you have a gas range or are using a camping stove) .
Add the oinions and garlic as well as 1/2tsp dried oregano , 2-4tables butter or margarine and 2-4 tables milk or sour cream . (I'm doing the vegan thing . you don't have to)

Mash until they are perfect .

So many people buy expensive and tastless side dishes filled with bad carbs (spuds are not ) and fat and they don't have to . Lipton's Sidekicks are crap and we all know it and these things take about the same amount of time out of your life , which is amazing since you need this good stuff in your life .

I'm serving this with maple-beer veggie sausage but both go well with corned brisket or anything . They are also good comfort (read stoner snack) food all by their lonesome .

Okay , I'm starving now.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Humankind is Amazing

This awesome great-grandpapa is a war hero , an esteemed scholar , and proponent of mathematics and sciences . Willard Doyle grew up in a logging camp in Northern Quebec , joined the military where he piloted the famed Spitfires in World War II , and earned the PhD neccessary to become a Physics professor . He worked closely with the Apollo space program and invented the continuous ruby laser . His brain is far superior to yours and mine . He is a humanitarian and genius all rolled into one cool package .

And today , his bride of 62 years woke him up at his Halifax home with a surprise . This amazing man was awarded the Alfred Nobel Prize in Physics . His wife had to CONVINCE him that this was no joke .

This fellow essentially discovered the transmission of light in fiber-optics and invented the CCD sensor which transforms light into pixels . This device is the reason for the function of the Hubble Space Telescope and transmission of Mars Rover visuals , and that's epically awesome . We see the universe in an entirely different way due to all of the amazing discoveries and inventions that came from this man's intracranial drawing board .

And as it is fitting , the photograph used here was taken with his most popular invention .

The digital camera .

Speechless .

One Final Act of Evil

This is David Dewees , or rather , it was before he became a self-inflicted pancake .

You see this stain on human remains was arrested for trying to lure little dudes over the internet all the while being a grade 10 teacher at a school I vividly remember and being a Christian camp counsellor . He was even working AT the camp when he did all of the horrible shit and got busted before he could actually molest the young fellows he was trying to get at . While I'm pretty sure that there will be victims to come out of the woodwork , they won't get the closure of witnessing him go to Kingston Pen for a very long time .

He killed himself by jumping in front of a MANNED Subway train in Toronto .

Now , before you rant on how he got his just desserts by being splattered , think of this - how the fuck must the conductor of that train FELT when he or she hit this dude NOT KNOWING HE WAS A PAEDOPHILE? That is gonna leave some scars . It is absolutely irrelevant whom the person is when you witness them die . It will wound your memories and haunt for a very long time and the hard-working TTC workers did not do anything to deserve that hurt .

If this selfish shit was going to bite the bullet , he should have done so in private , in a way that wouldn't hurt the souls of the TTC personnel and passengers . But , like most narcissists , he had to take his life in a way befitting his evil life .


Yup , More Stupid Albertans

Two drunk rednecks thought it would be fun to break into the TIGER enclosure and play with the kitties with predictable results . It was the middle of the night and Vitali here wasn't all that keen on being woke up from his safe slumber and did exactly what he should do - defend his territory against a threat moving around near his napland . The main moron is absolutely gonna be feeling the wrath of his stupidity for a very long time and gonna get a boost to his Welfare cheque because cats have toxic saliva and he's probably going to lose his arm .

If these asshats even THINK of suing the Zoo , they should have the opportunity to play with Vitali up close and VERY personal .

Why are people even THINKING of blaming the Calgary Zoo?? It's pretty fucking obvious that if you wake a 5-kilo tomcat he's gonna give you the business , so 150-kilo Vitali was just doing his job defending his territory and little lady kitty from these two morons .

And people wonder why the rest of Canada ridicules Albertans . We get shining examples of drunken redneck behaviour delivered from this enclave of stupid to our homes on a several times daily basis.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

A Farce of Biblical Proportions - A Note to Kirk Cameron

Watch this video and listen very carefully to what is being said here by celebretard has-been Kirk Cameron . He and his pals have taken someone else's artistic work and bastardized it for the benefit of their Christian creationist cause because they are so threatened by a 150 year-old book that offered an alternative theory and that is plumb outrageous on it's own but well within their right to do . This alternative and it's adherents are so offensive to the Christian cause that they have no other alternative than to equate Darwin with Hitler , which is not only offensive , but erroneous . Everything in this vitriolic diatribe is rather refutable so just as Mr. Cameron dissected Darwin's work , I'm going to dissect everything in this video .

Here we go , Mr C.

Firstly , liberties are NOT G-d given - they were created by man which is why when we are in doubt people of free nations open their constitutions and not their King James Bibles . G-d did not make the United States superior to other nations . The founding fathers , many of whom were atheists , invented this theory .

Secondly , it is NOT illegal to pray in public and there are ZERO laws stating whether or not someone can carry ANY "Holy" book . In fact , it is a fairly common occurrence , people of many faiths do this and are not to be discriminated against for doing so . It's one of those liberties you hold so dear . As for the 10 Commandments , one can find them posted all over the place , from Billboard ads to Churches , and while it is true that fewer governmental organizations post them than in the 1950's , it is also true that still fewer posted them in the 1750's . In fact , in that precious Declaration of Independence , monarchs and other leaders in the "chosen by G-d" category are referred to as tyrants . The U.S.A. on paper is one of the most secular societies on Earth .

Next on , the Gideons . I remember being a confused kid forced to take one of their New Testaments as a kid despite it being contrary to everything I believe and feeling less-than because of it . Children aren't given copies of the Qu'ran , Torah , or Dianetics in public schools , so your book has to go too . I know it's horrifying , Mr . Cameron , but less than half of Americans are Protestant Christians , and the U.S. is a democratic nation . That being said , every hotel I have stayed in in recent years has had a copy of the Gideon Protestant tome in the desk , but adults are hardly your primary brainwashing target so you fail to mention this .

As for the religious persuasion of Science professors , I'm shocked that 39% of them actually believe in a higher entity since it seems contradictory to their subjects , but it's a free country . People are allowed to be as hypocritical as they want to be . However , if these profs were forcing their atheism or any other belief on their charges , there would be a public outrage! Glenn Beck would get on Fox "News" and have a public aneurysm . As for brainwashing , if a bunch of kids can overcome a lifetime of pseudo-religious preaching to come up with opinions of their own , all the power to them . You're just pissed because someone else could potentially be rebelling from your acceptible brand of mind-melting . Evolution is not a ridiculous , unproven , far-off concept to the majority of the world . Even my Rabbi believes in the creationist-evolutionary hybrid . The idea that a higher being can create something and watch it grow is not a ridiculous fantasy but can be substantiated by far more facts than the world appearing in 6 24-hour days and a virgin being raped by G-d to produce some magical space man .

And this Ray Comfort introduction is not only unneccesary artistic theft , but it's plain WRONG . Here's why .

Adolf Hitler was NOT a Darwinist . He was a Christian just like many people , including YOU Mr . Cameron . He viewed atheism as the most menacing part of Communism , and if atheists got too loud  they were persecuted like all other religious minoritites . Christians and Odinists were the only valid evolutionary types permitted in the Reich . And while Darwin's viewpoints might come across as a tad unusual in today's age , they were not out of step with the agnostic thinking of the time .

As for nothing creating something , isn't that what uber-Christians believe ? This mighty floating entity waved his magic wand and turned a black hole into the most magnificent place in the Universe just by wishing it so . It is this thinking that perpetutated the ridiculous theory that the Earth was the centre of the solar system for thousands of years . Even ancient primitives believed in the superiority of the Sun , hence why they prayed to and feared this cosmic being . THEY knew that the Sun was the be all and end all to the solar system , a fact that eluded Christians until SCIENCE proved it so . There are sects of Christians who still do not believe that the Sun is in the middle . Talk about stupid.

DNA is a pretty damning refutal of old-school creationism , as you can see it evolve under a microscope if you pay attention long enough . But as far as transitional forms , aren't all those fossils and Lucy and that 4 million year-old ancient hominid all transitional forms or am I just blinded by reality?

As for the accredited scientists , Albert Einstein was raised Jewish so he obviously did not believe in the Christian Gospel and while open-minded to the slight POSSIBILITY of a higher being was an atheist throughout most of his adult life . While Isaac Newton was remembered as a highly religious man , he had very controversial beliefs, refuting the literal translation of the Bible and the Christian Trinity , so he just won't do either . Mikolaj Kopernik (Copernicus) was a one-time Catholic cleric who did indeed have a difficult time reconciling his faith with all of the indisputable scientific facts he discovered and was one of the first prominent folks to embrace the hybrid scientific-religious theory . After all , he broadcast the knowledge of the sun being the cetre of the Solar System even though non-Christains had known about this since , well , forever . Francis Bacon was a serious Christian dude , however he was also a known paedophile and bisexual who made such horrifyingly anti-Semitic statements so frequently that he is held as a hero by Neo-Nazi organizations . Some message of love there Kirk . Pasteur seemed to be a good Catholic (sorry , bro , not a Protestant , he was French) who did nothing wrong other than stealing a few vaccine ideas and claiming to have invented the whole idea .

My intent here is not to slam the quoted scientists , but for you to know to do some actual research before heralding people of the past as perfect martyrs to your spiritual cause . Some of this information is even common knowledge or at the very least readily accessible to anyone who can bother to open a book .

And we will wander into censorship here . The thing is , you or anyone else is free to hand out religious-based drivel to anyone you want in public University spaces, ergo there is NO censorship PERIOD . What incenses people is not the usual Christian stuff we are used to, but the fraudulent implication of packing the Christ-God model into a book clearly not intended for the audience . You are allowed to state that you believe whatever you wish , but it really isn't correct . It is not correct to steal someone's artistic property and manipulate it en masse , let alone an historical document . The equivalent to this would be if I wrote a 50-page introduction to the King James Bible saying how horrifyingly wrong and shitty it is and handed it out at a Bible College . It's offensive and if you don't know it , you are an idiot or a liar or both . You have clearly stated that you want people to see both sides and make up their own minds and that it is an opportunity to spread the Gospel in the very same breath . That seems incredibly sneaky to me .

Mr. Cameron , I am not disputing your love of your religion or people in general , but your fanaticism and erroneous staements to further your faith . If people really desire a connection to a spiritual being , they will seek it . People of today are intelligent enough to smell a rat a mile away and messing with Darwin's literature will likely have the reverse reaction to the one you desire . People do not hate religion , or even religious people , but they do hate being lied to . This entire shameful facade calls your confidence in your faith into question and makes Christians look like weasels . People must be free to believe whatever gives them peace , and force-feeding bullshit to thousands of University students who are generally higher on the intellectual plane than you isn't the way . Didn't it take you until you were much older than these kids to find your way to the G-d of your choosing? This is exactly why Jews are never seen proselytizing - people find their way in the world and to G-d or away from it on their own . Spirituality is a very indiviual thing and prepackaged inflexible doctrine makes for a hateful , evil world full of wars and famines and all of the things that both of our faiths rally against .

Peace be with you ,

Mika Galipeau

Stephen Harper : Singing Tool

Stephen Harper has become somewhat known for canning arts funding and then modifying the national tax structure to make it nearly impossible for tax breaks for those who fund them . So it came as a serious shock when the uber-Conservative hopped on stage to give a horrifying rendition of a fairly liberal Beatle's tune . The guy who is trying to push Canada's pot laws back to the 1950's is playing something largely known as a stoner anthem and it makes him seem like a complete moron . Yo-yo Ma seems horrified that he has to play in this tool's musical travesty . I mean , it's a wonderful distraction from the underfunded military kids being assasinated , selling the country to the Chinese , promoting the butchery of endangered bears by foreign dignitaries , and the fact we are looking at yet another non-confidence election , which I suppose is the point .

Harper has everyone talking about something absolutely irrelevant to the state of the Nation and we're all eating it up .

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Ladies and gents , I introduce you to the Eden Tropical G-Spot Vibrator .

Now , I'm not a huge fan of wackysex toy action myself . I prefer the more organic route when it comes to action in the bedroom , bathroom , or kitchen . I'm not a puritan by any stretch , but my lil lady bits just don't groove with the whole 50- horsepower fruit juicer kind of apparatus .

This thing is just fuckin SCARY . There is NO way in HELL you could ply me with ENOUGH narcotics to permit this battery-powered injustice to enter the confines of my undies , let alone my house! I mean , I couldn't even use this on someone else without laughing my face off , and I'm pretty sure that this is NOT the response hungry mamas are looking for .

This thing looks like it is capable of neutralizing an ARMY of Cyborgs!!!

Cue the attack of the killer silicone!

If I wanted something to lauch a life-changing attack on my netherregions I would ply a room full of horny biker dykes with a barrel of Jack Daniels and an ounce of meth and let the games begin!!!

Keep this fuckin thing and it's relations away from me ...

...or I might ....


Free Willy

There is a performance artist in Barcelona who has become somewhat legendary in Spain . Some people don't even believe he exists , but he most certainly does. You see , he is heavily tattooed and from behind just looks like he's wearing a mankini , but he's not . In his ultimate (and legal) performance art exhibition , he does everything in the buff and he's been pantsless for years and most Barcans don't even notice . O.K. , well the ladies might.

The whole photo series can be checked out HERE , courtesy of La Vie En Gris

Bear With Me

I am not all that cool with emotional shit , especially my own .

It's going to be a very interesting ride.