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Friday, July 31, 2009

On A Funny Note

Everyone has met a dude like this guy - it is the doucheboy for this microcosm ! He hangs out in places on bottleservice because he really doesn't know ANYBODY and has to buy his way in . He wears top-to-foot Ed Hardy acidhead and is often seen plying his trade on WooMe where he can find stables of 15 year-olds who will think he's coolness incarnate .
I seriously hope a few Party Hardy dingos watch this and have some sort of epiphany - I mean it's not likely , but stranger things have happened .
Either way , this cat captures the stupidity in it's perfectly hilarious glory .
thanks to Funny or Die .

Because I'm an asshole ....

..This is the brisket result . I finished it in a pan for luscious caramelization and used a red wine reduction ...

Everyone has the chance to make one before sundown , so don't walk , RUN to your nearest meatmonger for something meaningful .

Sorry JJ

Soup Chronicles : The No-Waste Best Corned Brisket EVER

Now many of you kids are aware of the fact that I am a vegetarian , but there are few foods as evocative of wonderful childhood memories quite like the perfection that is the KING of carnivore cuisine for the masses - the corned brisket , and I'm making one in honour of my dear friend Gordon Schellenberg's 36th birthday that is sure to delight Gordo and his legion of Bocce buffs . Try this out , it is GUARANTEED to make an impression .. and here's how :

Firstly , dice up Walla Walla onion , a stalk of celery , a carrot , and half a head of garlic and fry in a wee bit of olive oil in a large pot until they happlily glisten in the light like an old grandmother's smile .
Pour a couple of litres of water (or half a gallon , for you lazy Amerks ) into the pot - stand back - it might bite you with the oil-vs-water action , and patiently wait for 5 minutes while this goes happy at high heat .
Then we have Mr. Brisket . O.K. , kids , many many recipes state to remove this handsome fruit of the Gods from the bag . DO NOT DO THIS!!! Instead , perforate the bag roughly a million times on the top side with a fork . Gently place Briskie into the pot of boiling mirepoix and boil it for a good 20 minutes or so . Don't freak out if you go outside for a smoke and forget about it for a while , just reduce your overall cooking time . Then reduce the heat and simmer for approximately 2 1/2 to 3 hours based on a 900 gram (2 pound ) roast .

Be patient - go grocery shopping , play with your dog , choke your chicken , but LEAVE IT ALONE!! You could even write a blog detailing your experiences with the glorious beef while reminiscing about your grandmother and feeling blessed to be able to use her knowledge to bring Brisket Extraordinaire to the masses .

My mum's mum was a passionate and able lady who wasted little that she had and had a beautiful bright mind until the last moment I saw her alive . She had a difficult but gratifying life and could fix almost anything and cook - oh , she was without equal . Possibly the most supreme compliment I have ever received is when she proclaimed me to be her equal and possibly superior in the kitchen , but the truth is , if not for her , I would have NEVER mastered bagels , chili sauce , roast turkey , or the million uses for chick peas . She was truly one of a kind , not just in my eyes , but in the minds of everyone she met . One could be a homeless alcoholic and she would invite you in for a hot meal - everyone was treated as a guest of the highest regard in my grandmother's home . Hundreds if not thousands of down-on-their luck folks found hope and understanding via a few hours in Granny Annie's kitchen . If I become a fraction as remarkable as this phenomenal being i will be a success. ....but back to the brisket...

After patiently awaiting the sumptuous beast , carefully open the bag and deposit any stray pieces , liquid , and fat back into the stock pot and bring it to a ferocious boil . Take the brisket and lovingly douse it with pepper and a bit of soy and brown sugar as well as paprika and place it in the oven for about 15 minutes until it becomes a glorious brown . Thickly slice said beast and serve with some fragrant rice , nugget potatoes and any other sides you can come up with . SUCCESS! You have mastered the greatest crowd pleaser known to man!
But we don't waste a thing around here , so turn your attention to the stock pot .
After you have reduced the quantity to half , reserve the stock for later and add any remains of the brisket and some spuds or barley and corn and you will have the most delicious bowl of warmth possible - so fantastic , in fact , that you can enjoy it on even the hottest of days and you will be the hero of your family for the current generation .

We can all honour our past by remembering those who have shaped our lives and it is imperative to do so . We need to instill our culinary traditions into this fast-food society lest an imporatant part of history be lost forever.

Have a great day!

Thank God...

.... for the existence of beautiful specimens of humanity such as Brad Blauser . This gentleman lives and works in Iraq and while working as a contractor discovered that there were a litany of forgotten children , often relegated to dark rooms in family homes when their agricultural-class parents couldn't carry them from place to place . This struck this kind man to the core and he petitioned friends abroad to donate children's wheelchairs , and Iraqi Cops were delighted to get the chairs to the neediest , often risking their own lives to do so . Last year , Mr. Blauser quit his job but remained in Iraq distributing hundreds of wheelchairs that adjust as kids grow , giving hope and independence to wonderful children and their loving families . For most of these angels , they will have their first opportunities at socialization , education , and medical care and their families will have relief and their gratitude is infectious.
Today , do something to change the day or life of another for the better . One person really can affect the existence of a life. Follow the lead of inspiring humans like Brad Blauser and go out and make a difference .

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

This is why....

...In all of her hypocrisy , I still love Joan Rivers !!!
Watch 76 year-old tough bitch from hell lay the smackdown on this twit from Comedy Central .
The Gem's "and you shut up too , you big dyke" and when she BITES the dude's leg!!!

This is awesome!

Cool Kid

This microdude is 5 years old . While he might not know much about the Big House , he does rip Folsom Prison Blues pretty nicely .
Somebody buy this kid a real guitar NOW!

Scumbag of 4 Lifetimes

This repulsive stain on humanity is Banita Jacks , and she is going to jail , hopefully forever . This twat starved and beat her kids , not for a man , but simply due to the fact that she is a selfish psychopath . She starved and stabbed on of her kids to death and strangled her three younger angels and then she lived in the same house with their decomposing bodies for SEVEN MONTHS with zero remorse whatsoever . When she was arrested , she was concerned that she "might get in trouble" .

Some people are truly wasting the skin they are in , and Ms. Jacks is one of those and I believe she deserves the worst treatment for the remainder of her days , but I do have one question - Where might one find the dad(s) of these kids? Why didn't SOMEONE notice that all of these children disappeared ? Was there no grandparent , auntie , teacher or neighbour who cared about the existence of these 4 young lives ?
If anybody knew about this - the beatings , starvation , or murders - they deserve to sit in a dank cell for a very LONG time .
Hopefully , these beautiful babies are in a better place .It is horrifying that their times on Earth were so awful . Rest peacefully with the angels .

My original embed was deleted so I'm including a pre-conviction video now.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Comment To the "Fine Folks at Jewlist

The fearmongerers over at are at it again with their divisive speech that even advocates genocide in some posts utilizing the usual "Illuminati" , "Elders of Zion" (published as fictional BTW) , "Holocaust Revisionist" ideology , and as much as I hate their words , they have a right to publish whichever erroneous ideology they wish , with the exception of promoting murder , which they do . Thusly , I figured I'd opine in an intelligent manner , given the fact that my voice may be the first post-room-temperatue IQ reply they may receive in the coming weeks , months , or years ; and here it is :

I'm not anonymous , in fact feel quite free to peruse my site - it is your right to state your opinion as much as it is mine . I personally find your website offensive to my sensibilities , but you can seriously state whatever you want and justify it with whatever antiquated prejudices just as I have the right to state my opinion .
You may find this odd coming from one of the people you profess to hate - I am not a banker , simply a humble construction worker with a mechanic for a mum and a taxi driver for a pop . But I am a Jew and all of this financial control of the world thing seems entirely foreign to my humble existence .
To advocate the extermination of any ethnic or religious group seriously takes some psychopathy - I don't hate Christians or Muslims or anyone really , but I do want to be able to do my job without fear of being murdered for something innate , as we all should .
That said , I believe firmly that few are beyond redemption . We all , as law-abiding decent taxpayers deserve the right to pursue peaceful existence as intended by democracy and if you choose to remove yourself from the positive human experience , that is your option . If you are so obsessed with sending people back "where they came from" , why not return yourself and your mates to the European nations of your origins and allow North America to be inhabited by Aboriginal Peoples?


Sunday, July 26, 2009

Legal Bud?

Before I get started , I am in NO WAY promoting drug use . It is illegal and stoners really aren't as cool as they think they are . And don't get me started on the other drugs .

Okay , since pot and it's related smokables are illegal for most people in most places , people are looking to other things for a buzz and enterprising head shop owners are filling the demand by coming up with some weird combinations they claim will bring about a relaxing and psychedelic experience . Personally , I think they are capitalizing on the paranoia brought about by ridiculous personal behaviour laws , but it's their right to sell snake oil - or is it?
Some of the smoking mixtures contain familiar traditional Aboriginal medicinal herbs as well as poppy flowers (wait a minute - doesn't opium come from a poppy?) , scotch broom , hops , and even lettuce . These plants have not been tested and some of them are quite toxic . And they sell pills too without warning people that 5-HTP and St. John's Wort can have negative side effects and are actually prescription drugs in many countries .
At least people know what they can expect with real pot to a large degree . Okay , so it is WAY more atomic than medical marijuana or the stuff we had in high school and nobody should drive on it , but you will probably be goofy , hungry and sleepy . You will likely be harmless to anyone but might decide that Cheetos and chocolate fondue are a good combination . (My old high-school munchout was Fried egg sandwiches with Casesar salad dressing.)
Personally , if you were my friend , i'd rather you smoke grass and laugh yourself to sleep rather than down a bottle of whiskey and beat up random people , and I'd certainly not want you wasting your money and potentially your health on this garbage . The aggressive scrutiny of adult personal behaviour is ridiculous and makes criminals out of everyday citizens and is creating an exploitative and unregulated industry .

Life is strange.

I Was Gonna Leave Jon Gosselin Alone ...

And then he paraded himself in layer-upon-layer of acidhead vomit .
This dude has traded in his shitty neglectful "parenting" style for large amounts of money and the ugliest and most retarded stable of groupies EVER . I mean PHIL SPECTOR had better ones , but , oh yeah Spector had some TALENT before his douchebag factor got too huge and did him (and at least one unfortunate lady) in .
And now some idiots are actually paying this dingo to look even douchier with his Motorola Bluedouche headset and layers of Christian Audiger's "Because Calling It Ed Hardy Makes It Sound So Much Cooler" latest PCP-induced hallucination .
Thank God that he's such a self-involved and distant "parent" , since his offspring don't have to breathe in the intoxicating douche stench that I imagine smells like a combination of ass sweat , axe , menthol cigarettes , and cheap ladies cologne .
Well , at the very least , he's at least warning anyone over 25 of his voluntary human billboard retardation . Maybe he's doing us all a favour by taking all the potential pity-fucks off of the market . Never thought about it that way . Interesting .

There are rare instances when being an absent father might just be a good thing . I'm thinking this may be one of those.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Accidents Can Be Inspiring

EMBED-Painful Car Jumping Failure - Watch more free videos

This kid is probably high and this video is funny. I'm not sure whether it was him flattening himself or his reaction when he realize he dented his pop's beloved Taurus . However , desperate times call for desperate measures and sometimes we find our calling by accident .

This kid will be a Body Man or work in a Chop Shop or both .


Proofreading Isn't For Everyone

Read this carefully and prepare to laugh . And I thought Jodi's "where the fuck is Taco Bell?" question was funny .

Best Yahoo question EVER .

Thursday, July 23, 2009

On A Romantic Night

.... you have some dinner and vino and decide to go for a nightcap ...
.... Marvin Gaye (or Lords of Acid) is playing in the background .......
...... you're getting groovy and making your way toward the promised land ....
........ and you come across Dance Dance Fever VS GameBoy ...

What would be your reaction? - Shock? Surprise? Amusement? All of The Above?
I'm not sure if I'd laugh or be horrified.

Note to the Ladies : Having tattoos on your runway of hilariously unsexy things such as your kid's toys will not likely elicit the desirable response during intimate times . A sense of humour during sexy times is an asset but making your partner feel like a creepazoid is not . This is not a look one should aspire to .

Thank You for Your Time ;

love , Mika

WTBlueFUCK of the Weak

In the decent American city of Phoenix , the unspeakable happened ... I'll give you the CNN blurb here :

(CNN) -- Four boys ages 9 to 14 have been charged with sexually assaulting an 8-year old girl, police in Phoenix, Arizona, said Wednesday.

The girl was lured into a vacant storage shed by the suspects, who offered her chewing gum, police said at a news conference.

The girl was restrained while the boys -- ages 9, 10, 13 and 14 -- sexually assaulted her, police said of the July 16 incident.

All the suspects except for the 14-year-old live in the same apartment complex, according to Phoenix police Sgt. Andy Hill. The 14-year-old has been charged as an adult, Hill said.

Detectives said the girl was placed in the custody of Phoenix child protective services after the attack because of her parents' attitude toward her.

The girl and the boys charged are all from families that have come to the United States from the West African nation of Liberia, police said.

Read that VERY carefully , kids - the CPS had to be called in to protect this imperfect-without-her-consent angel from her PARENTS who have shunned her for being victimized by these four severely damaged kids raised from birth to view even young girls as property , and of course , they do have fault in this heinous act , and the ringleader should absolutely go hang with the big boys for orchestrating this war crime on America soil . War crime? wait.... , let's take a look at the nation of Liberia before you dispute this , for they have long waged a civil war on their women and girl babies .
Liberia was a country formed by the reverse-migration of previously enslaved African-Americans around 200 years ago with the full blessing of the U.S. Government , and just like the U.S. , has a Senate , House of Representatives , Supreme Court , and Presidential system . There are a number of large religious factions , christianity being the largest , but of course , the Christians are not the oppressed and therefore not the refugees seen in North America . Pat Robertson even used 700 Club planes to help former dictator Charles Taylor haul diamond-mining equipment while telling his viewers they were funding charitable relief efforts . Everybody wanted to help the Christian dictator subjugate other people and this created a rift with Traditionalists , who were once very lax , but became far more extreme in their beliefs after these bloody wars .
It appears that Liberia's war on women is a cultural phenomenon as opposed to specific to any one religion and manifests itself in many ways . Traditionalists practice disturbing genital mutilations on wee girls as young as 3 as an initiation rite that separates them from the Muslims and Christians who don't often engage in such things and is promoted for expats by some members of the Liberian government . Rape and other related crimes often fell as a family burden amongst all classes , and those who migrated prior to there being harsh penalties for these violations still view it all as a family shame . Among Traditionalists and Muslims , girls are seen for the money that and early marriage can bring and are married off between the ages of 12 and 15 for dowries to family friends without the consent of the girls and thusly , any stain on that , such as being a rape victim renders such a girl as simply useless and a burden to her family . Due to AIDS fears , very young girls and very elderly women are routinely gang-raped by roving bands of sickos . Gang-rapes were used against minority women as a war practice to intentionally shame opponents . While , on paper , the country has some of the most extensive women's liberties in Africa , Traditionalists and Muslims simply ignore them and they make for the refugee migrants to other countries , continuing the cycle were they go to . It is all very weird and in no way justifies the actions of kids raised in Americans schools .

The parents of that girl should be punished - punished by never again being able to petition the court for custody of their child. they should be charged with neglect , because to deny a child needed comfort during the worst possible scenario is quite possibly worse psychologically than what the boys did to her. And if they have any other kids in their care , remove them . Some people were just not built to be parents . I am becoming more firm in the belief that we do need to mandate educational programmes for ALL who come into Western countries about how women and people in general are viewed in our society , thus eliminating the possibility for cultural defenses in criminal proceedings . It's a small price to pay if you want to stay - my immigrant ancestors may have come from some not-so-nice places , but they followed the laws of humanity and got to stay . Play by the rules or get the fuck out of the arena.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Because Kids are NOT Sex Objects

Recognize this logo ? If not , you should . It is the logo representative of the North-American Man-Boy Love Association , or NAMbLA . Now why is the "b" in the logo lowercase you may ask? Well , because Men are big and boys are small ...creepiness incarnate . These sick fuckers claim to represent the rights of children to be sexual beings , for example defending the rights of the teenage girls nailed for kiddie porn for taking their own nude photographs , but they are a cover group for the defense of same-sex paedophiles . They use ancient tales of Sappho and Abu Nuwas to justify their pederastic intentions and raise funds for those incarcerated (justifiably , in my educated opinion) of sex offenses involving children . One of their oft-quoted pervs is currently incarcerated for molesting boys and girls under 14 . Their justification is that the grown are the best counsellors for gay youth , which I do agree , but their methods include introduction into sex with adults , which is absolutely abhorrent . How could one claim to care for kids while promoting paedophilia? Well , simply put , it is an asinine argument and a criminal conspiracy and these perverts are justifiably shunned by 99% of the gay community , but are held as a flagship by the "Christian Right" for their "recruitment" strategies much to the detriment of sexual and gender minorities as whole .
NAMbLA and its related pedo projects have been long dismissed as irrelevant and barely existent ... but WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE ...!!!!!

They do exist , have addresses in New York and San Francisco , use "freedom" to publish periodicals and have conferences . They have been driven to the outskirts , but are still around . Now what can we do ? Well , simple , flood their phone message boards , mailboxes , and e-mails so that they simply cannot respond to the requests of perverts - I have done this before , permanently shutting down the telephone message board "hateline" , run by the now-defunct Neo-Fascist Heritage Front . And here's the info :
P O Box 174 Midtown Station
New York, NY 10018
537 Jones St., No. 8418
San Francisco, CA 94102
Click to Send your message to:

New York voice-mail: (212) 631-1194

For the brave

The Heterosexual Questionnaire

This questionnaire was invented in the early 70's to put people in the shoes of a gay person , but is also kind of fun in its own right . Check it out , and , yes , you can post your replies and also feel free to post this in your own blog , myspace , crackbook , etc. as it is intentionally in the public domain.

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and where did you decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible this is just a phase and you will out grow it?

4. Is it possible that your sexual orientation has stemmed from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. Do your parents know you are straight? Do your friends know- how did they react?

6. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it just possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality... can’t you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

9. Why do heterosexuals try to recruit others into this lifestyle?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual... Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?

11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?

12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

13. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?

14. Considering the menace of overpopulation how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

15. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you feel that he or she might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his orher leanings?

16. There seem to very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to.

17. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

- Martin Rochlin, Ph.D., 1972

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


We see these upright weinerdogs cruising nightclubs , malls , and car lots everywhere - yes! The ubiquitous BlueDouche! A peculiar creature that is so devoid of real-life friends he has to sit in the bar at LAX talking to himself looking all self-important while watching kiddie porn on his laptop while waiting for his "business" flight to Bangkok . Note the uniform : undersized designer shades , company promo golf shirt , and tennis shoes whiter and more painful to the corneas than a solar flare . He is not a fan of Rogaine or hairsystems or even a razor and wears his partial baldness proudly and invariably sports some sort of facial hair like a compensatory mane . If you see this variety of BlueDouche in the wild , take your children by the hand and walk away VERY SLOWLY .

The next variety would be the fella to your right , generally seen SLOWLY wandering department stores and nightclubs nationwide . He's in roughly the same income bracket as the PedoDouche , but he's generally a trust-fund kid and is frequently seen toting Blutooth-connected IPhones , BlackBerrys , a micro-laptop , and a Samsung ALL AT THE SAME TIME and generally drives a Toyota Avalon with black leather seats . He always knows SOMEBODY and weasels his $2000 suit and Walmart dressshirt wearing ass into finer clubs and gets off trying to seduce drunk college girls and dropping Roofies in the Appletinis of D-list celebutantes . By day he is often seen in Starbucks pretending to be employed and superior to the service people who at least have jobs or slinking around the Gap trying to get a glimpse of college-girl ass and trying to make cute anecdotes to the staff that only HE seems to chuckle at . He elicits the arms-hugged-around-body-shudder better than even PedoDouche , mainly because he actually stares and speaks , alerting everyone to his presence . If you catch RoofieRapist in the wild , smack him VERY HARD in the back of the head and run! He probably knows a lawyer , but if you do it right , you can get the last laugh.

If you wear one of these earpieces and aren't driving a car , piloting an airplane , or on security patrol somewhere , you will look like a threat to national security and I will come up with a category and description for you . More to come!

Pimp My Pimp

OK , shitheads who think you are being all cool sounding like hoodrat trash thinking terms like "pimp" are all fly and make you sound macho , I have a few words ....
Now , any of you kids out there know that real pimping is wrong on every fucking moral level - it's subjugation and abuse of women on a large scale . The idea of some illiterate lazy useless trashbag beating a woman and putting her out on the street corner can and does gross you out . It's misogynism and hate for a new generation and even women are eating this shit up : degrade yourself and you'll get to hang with the Alpha dog who will use you fo his own pleasure , and it's racist to boot . Black dudes selling themselves out to other dudes glorifying the worst elements of humanity that reminds people of Blaxploitation , but in this generation the perps are often people of their own race selling misery to young white subsurban kids who think it's all cool subculture.
Now , for a fairly brief year of my life , I engaged in the actual occupation , and I'm not proud of this - I mean these young mamas actually asked ME to give them protection , mainly so the real assholes wouldn't take them , and I took full advantage . I ran the roads and carried guns and got in scraps , and I'll tell you all something - I could OWN most of the douches who think this pimp culture bullshit is cool .
So I think we need a new reality show - I'd call it "Pimp My Pimp" . The premise would involve taking the worst hoodrat woman-beating fucktards and putting them on the stroll after a few sound beatings and make them give fuckin hummers and rimjobs for a week to see how they would feel about the whole process . I'm thinking that these bastards would be crying after the first chokehold . Every night , they'd get the option of sitting in a "confessional" and blowing their brains out with a Glock . We'd offer college educations and extra beefy boyfriends as prizes . Got any other ideas? Post em' ... pretty please.

A Few Words About Botox

Does this lady look 76 years old on the outside to you? Me neither . Now we all know that this is not a nutaural look - among her vast array of "self-improvement" procedures , miss Joan is a big fan of this Botox shit , as are millions of other people who think that removing your facial expressions equals youthful .
So , let's explore exactly what Botox is .
Botox is the trade name for Clostridium Botulinum - yes , kids , it is the most terrifying neurotoxin ON THE PLANET . 1 TEASPOON of this stuff is toxic enough to kill 1.2 BILLION people , but someone decided that since it is a paralytic , that it might be helpful for treating debilitating spastic conditions . Sounds good so far , until some geniuses also figured out that the same effect APPEARS to temporarily get rid of pesky wrinkles and millions of insecure people have lined up to get injections of something so toxic that every batch is tested on animals - are you listening PeTA? Yup , avowed PeTA supporters like Joanie here , Kim Cattrall , simon Cowell and others are injecting this stuff in their faces because , you know , what's a few million mice to interfere with their natural ability to BLINK?!
This stuff is inherently dangerous - if administered by an untrained person as is often done at socialite parties , the toxin can paralyze other things - like your heart or lungs for example . There's even evidence that minute amounts of even "correctly" administered Botulin can disrupt the neurotransmitters in the brain . Last year , Health Canada even warned doctors about serious and potentially fatal consequences of its use . Now , I'm sure most of us remember a time where smoking was considered fairly harmless and our mothers may have even smoked or drank when pregnant because people were unaware of the consequences - is Botox the same thing? With people dying during elective procedures , it seems safer to inject something into a muscle instead of knock someone out and cut-and-paste , but is it REALLY safe? And why are people lining up to have the most dangerous protein in the Universe injected and then going back for repeats of one of the most cruelly-produced "products" out there ? If fur and all of the other cruel industries are spotlighted , why not this one?
The stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me . But at least one of the effects of Botox is you have a semi-premanent retarded look on your mug to warn others of your vanity and general brainlessness . Oh and lady , your face looks like someone pulled a condom over a softball.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

On A Serious Note

This is Russian journalist Natalia Estemirova . Yesterday she was abducted and murdered in Grozny by a group of men after being stalked for her reports of rampant human rights abuses in Russia and it's breakaway republics . She was a humble schoolteacher who became an award-winning investigative journalist due to the Chechen rebel uprisings and frequently spoke out about cruelties commited by both sides of the conflict and was currently investigating kidnappings and murders by Russian governmental and para-military groups . Ms. Esmirova was not the first honest journalist murdered for her words , and regrettably , will not be the last . Two of her close associates were Anna Politkovskaya was an acclaimed American-born Ukranian journalist and professor murdered , likely by Putin's FSB , for speaking out against the FSB's soviet-style activities ; and human rights attorney Stanislav Markelov , gunned down this past January along with Ana Baburova , a journalist who had just turned 25 . And , of course , we all know of Aleksandar Litvinenko , poisoned by rare radioactive element Polonium-210 , ironically named so by Marie Curie as a protest against the lack of political freedoms in Poland. It has ofeten been speculated that behind the hundreds of murders lies the influence of former president and current Prime Minister Vladimir Putin , former president Boris Yeltsin , and powerful businessmen with Mafiya ties .
According to the now-dead whistleblowers , current and past leaders in the new Russia have ties to the old totalitarian ways and engage in the same types of tortures and murders as in the KGB days and there is no press freedom , and I may just have to agree with such statements .
Under Putin , now Prime Minister after his limited 2 terms as president , business associates of himself and his daughters have become billionaires and the family has ties to known terrorists. Freedom of the press and assembly became non-existent , guaranteeing Putin a second term . Russians may enjoy some financial freedoms , but make no mistake , people are the FURTHEST from free in a nation that simply doesn't know HOW to be free. The people who run the nation are all ex-KGB and current President Medvedev is a staunch Putin loyalist who , like him , proclaims to have far less personal wealth than he actually possesses . He runs the dubious Historical Truth Commission with members of the FSB and other Putin loyalists intent on modifying historial opinion to give Russia a more favourable reputation and cover up the crimes of the Stalin era , among other things .
It is very dangerous to have an opinion in Russia ; as dangerous as it was in the KGB-Communist era , and it is getting even more dangerous by the day . The vast majority of these executioners are never brought to justice . Police and secret service arrest , detain , torture , and even kill people, seemingly at the behest of a new style of totalitarian regime . Russia today may well be the most repressive capitalist country in the secular world , rivalling the UAE and Iran when it comes to control of media outlets and we are looking the other way because it is painful to admit that the fall of communism has resulted in freedom and prosperity for a chosen few , but Leninistic repression of the many . Let's not let these heroic freedom fighters die in vain and our governments must stop kissing the asses of those who terrorize their own people .

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Open Up And Say Baaaaa....

Some things have the ability to render most people speechless and THIS should be one of them - say hello to the Lovin' Lamb blow-up "pleasure" doll .
Yes , boys (I'm just assuming here) you too can enjoy all of the pleasures of your barnyard baaaaa without the annoyance of doing 2-to-5 for fucking your neighbour's unfortunate livestock .
Now , this is the low-end $25 version - I would hope the high-end variety would be fuzzy and maybe vibrate and baaaaa and have a yap complete with sharp cud-chewers for you extra-creepy fuckers out there. I mean isn't the whole "barnyard" experience supposed to be warm and fuzzy?
Caveat for you skeptics out there : The , um , well "Dolly" has a "realistic" (how the fuck do people know this??!) orifice and comes with a sampler pack of lube.
I am NEVER looking at a sheep or beach ball in the same way EVER again!

Oy to the vey.

FAIL - skinhead edition

This is peckerwood retard Micky Mayon and he was wanted for over 2 years because he is a dangerous anti-government skinhead . While awaiting trial for being a drunken idiot , he thought it wise to torch the judge's car and flee the U.S. ....
But guess where the Jew-hating S.O.B. went ? Seriously , take a guess...
He somehow got a tourist visa and flew to ISRAEL .... yes the land of Jews and Muslims and other brown people that this douchebag publicly professed hatred for , figuring nobody would look for him there . Well , I suppose if you are a skinhead running from the Feds , it might be a wiser option than accepting the punishment due you . But , he got lonely and needed some lovin' and upon finding out that his JEWISH girlfriend was pregnant with his little Jew baby , he spilled the beans. Of course , the freaked-out mama called the immigration authorities and he is now waiting to be shipped back to the U.S. in an Israeli jail with the same kind of cats he preached hatred against .


Dash snow was a funky dude , born into a family that included his aunt Uma Thurman , he could have enjoyed a typical lush lifestyle but instead ran away from home as a kid and began taking strange photos using shitty cameras of the shitty side of the New York lifestyle . He took sometimes damning shots of atrfarts behaving very badly and sometimes engaged in the behaviour himself , photgged for posterity. He was a gifted weirdo and even used his own splooge as part of an artwork series. But much as his life imitated his art , he dies from an overdose yesterday .
When will people ever learn?

That said , now that he's a goner at just 27 , his art will be worth more than it was during his short life . Such a shame for his family and young child , but sometimes you become consumed by your own selfish addicitons . Dying of a heroin overdose when you have a 2 year-old is just as severe and selfish in my mind as taking a gun to your head.
Suicide by any other name is still the same.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Speaking Of Famewhores ....

...yes , kids it's Levi Johnston of boning Bristol Palin fame!

This stain has recently spent his days posing for photos with his kid for handsome payouts and courting movie and book offers with all the ambition that his 15 minutes will provide . Never afraid to air the dirty laundry of his ex's mama and his ex as well , he is now being relied on for political commentary , seriously putting the "pun" into pundit .
Now , I might be going out on a limb here , but I'm not thinking that an 18 year-old Alaskan moose hunter is the best person to be weighing in on ANYONE'S political process , let alone to be taken remotely seriously while doing so . I mean , he looks good in a suit granted , but his mama is a junkie and he's only famous for deflowering the kid of someone famous and living to tell the tale. I mean I get ambition , wanting to get out of your shitty job as a carpenter's apprentice and wanting some attention , but don't you need a little bit of talent and true drive first? I mean , I might have somewhat higher scruples than this cat , but seriously , he wants to write a tell-all about his time hanging with the richies and people are going to pay whether we like it or not. He's already whored out his relationship with Bristol Palin and his own infant son - how much lower will he really go in his quest for fame?

Scumbag of a Lifetime

After the death of his most prized son , I have , for the most part , left my feelings about Joseph Jackson out of my blog , but there are mounting reports that have forced me to take my concerns to the blog . It has come from the gossip mill that Joe Jackson fully plans to exploit his grandkids for financial gain , that he plans to groom Mikey's kids for stardom much in the same way he did his own kids. He has already paraded the idea to the news media and anyone who will listen that he sees these kids as his next showbiz meal ticket.
Now , Michael made it pretty specific that he wanted his mum to care for his kids , but not his dad , and I'm sure the fact that Joe is an abusive stageparent has more than a wee bit to do with this. Katherine , Mikey's mum , is clearly not a fan of Joe and her attorney is getting involved here , as is proper.
Keep in mind , people , that this scumbag was promoting his own musical endeavours within hours of his son's untimely death and even sold videos of the family to the news media . He has gone on TV publically proclaiming the dancing talents of the youngest and also discussing how he can see Paris as becoming famous as well. No wonder why Debbie Rowe wants to put out a restraining order! I mean this is the same man who said this about child abuse "I never beat him. I whipped him with a switch and a belt. I never beat him. You beat someone with a stick." and this about gays "We don't believe in gays. I can't stand them." . He also enjoys hanging around with racist , homophobic famewhore Al Sharpton , among others.
People need to unite and keep this stain on humanity far away from Michael's kids . And young artists need to avoid his recording outfit altogether lest they be lumped in with this vile man. We must unite to remove all credibility that this cocksucker has and news outlets have to stop paying him for his appearances. There is no feeling for his children or grandchildren exuding from this man , only dollar signs in his dark , creepy eyes.
It is distinctly possible that the wrong Jackson died on June 25th .

Arrivederci Asshole

This is serial asshat Robert Dunn and he died the other day in prison where he belonged. You see , Dolly Dunn was a pedophile schoolteacher of the WORST kind. He was convicted of 24 charges involving 9 kids aged 7 to 15 and sentenced to 20 years in an Aussie prison for being a gross piece of shit after being originally arrested for a total of 91 counts . He knew he was getting sick and made a request about a year ago to die outside of prison , but in a rare moment of clarity , he was refused release and mandated to die far away from any children he could harm .
for you liberal idiots who think he should have been given compassionate release , keep in mind that this fuckwad not only abused kids in his own country but was suspected of raping young fellas in Indonesia , holland , the USA , and Honduras , among other places with a chickenshit sidekick who hung himself some years ago . He even lived in Bali with four other perverts who would lure in little kids to use as objects and videotape the "fun" for posterity. He told everyone within earshot that he thought buggering young people was perfectly normal in his demented little world and was proud to have photographed such horrors.
However , this scumbag got his just desserts , dying isolated from anything resembling a positive human experience - hated by inmates , guards , and the world .
Normally , i'd be against dancing on someone's grave , but I'm hoping people line up to desecrate your memory.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

On A Serious Note

Go HERE and pony up a mere 99 cents for this download . It's my buddy Shai Specht and Stewart Raven and the proceeds go to .
Over a THOUSAND kids leave us EVERY HOUR , EVERY DAY , simply because they were born into poverty or abuse . Kids all over are being orphaned due to AIDS , violence , and drug addiction . Half of India's kids are undernourished on any given day and millions in Sub-Saharan Africa are parentless due to the overwhelming AIDS crisis . These kids are subjected to physical and sexual abuse and sold into all kinds of sickening slavery . No child deserves to live and die this way .
Thank you for taking a minute out of your day now go take a dollar and help out a kid.

Just For Fun - Kosher Hiphop

The dude here with reggae papa Matisyahu is Nosson Zand - Brookline , Mass gangsta rapper turned conscious cat - and he's got mad skills . Of course , some cats think he's soft because he doesn't rhyme about beating on mamas and other folks don't dig him because he CAN rhyme and that's just too hard for the sissified Heebs . Anywho ...enjoy!

Saturday, July 11, 2009


Watch these videos kids... this man was doing his own thing when a bunch of peckerwood fuckbags decided the would play their game of skinhead roulette. This is in a city near here that ain't so small and I drive through to jobs fairly frequently ...
...okay and these guys aren't kids ... they are grown... notice proud , intelligent papa defend himself from the onslaught of ignorance...
...and then notice the politicially incorrect reaction of the RCMP...
"we don't know if they are white supremacists...we need proof..." etc etc etc
Now kids , I'm gonna delve into a few stereotypes here but fuck it ...
....pickup truck...
...3 white dudes with chrome domes...
....driver also a chromer.... shorts , tanks , boots...

Now , it is fairly safe to say that these shitstains on humanity are skinheads...
....and they ARE GONNA WALK because it is no longer P.C. to call a shitburger a shitburger


Friday, July 10, 2009

Couldn't This Wait?

Okay , i get that a lot of the world's faithful see the Pope Benedict as iconic and wise despite intellectual opinion to the contrary and thusly Barack and Mama Obama would want to have a chitchat with him at some point in time as a matter of course - but really , is right now the appropriate time for this photo op? Okay , now this is a nice way for Obama to promote his love for his Islamic buddies by meeting with the dude that thinks ill of them , but how about showing that brotherly love and at least issuing a decree against the oppressive regimes of the world instead of sending diplomats to kiss syria's ass while you gallavant around the issues?
Anyone with a few stem cells KNOWS that you and Mr. Virgin Boy are going to disagree on stem research , abortion and women's rights , and so does the Pontiff , so couldn't you put this off to another time?
Your country is under terrorist threat from kim Jong-il , Fuckhood Imintojihad , and various factions as well as being mired in a continual working-class financial struggle . these are REAL and IMMEDIATE concerns , but get this - they aren't even addressing Iran until some meeting in Pennsylvania in SEPTEMBER.
There IS a time to meet the man that may control your political future 4 years from now - Catholics don't much care for you or your policies anyways .
Couldn't this wait?
...catch Barack on his sightseeing tour of Ghana this weekend...

WTBlueFUCK of the Weak

Some douchebags down south up some graves - okay , not just some , hundreds - and sold the plots off thinking nobody would notice. They also stuck Emmett Till's previous casket in a shed instead of giving it to the family or a historial association as they should have. They even dug up the bodies of people's kids and just dumped their casks into piles . and this was apparently done by some greedy and lazy employees without the owner's knowledge . , wait a minute!
How the HELL is someone gonna dig up 500 graves in a cemetary you own without you knowing? I am thinking that's a pretty far-fetched concept.
and another thing .... Who the hell exhumes and demolishes the bodies of the recently deceased ? Sick fucks like Ed Gein used to get their jollies off of this and I'm wondering if the grave-diggers got some sick pleasure in doing this ....I mean outside of the moral , ethical ramifications of such acts , dead people aren't neccessarily the most appetizing "subjects" in the hot midwest summertime . Yes , it's been said that they made some payola out of it , but seriously , this takes a sick mind really. Have they no respect for the war heroes and babies they dug up for what doesn't work out to be a huge payout?! They think because they are digging up Black cats nobody is going to notice when they can't find their loved ones? COME ON!!
Apparently , the sickos are looking at 6-to-30 for this and I hope they spend it being "comforted" by the spirits they messed with.

Just For Fun - I'm an Asshole Edition

I was talking to a pal about mine and he mentioned Billy Mays and stated that he was the most annoying pitchman ever - but my reply was no way ! Here's an ode to the most irritating pair of pitchpeople ever - Nancy Nelson and Jan Muller in all their FoodSaver glory! I'm not sure WHAT exactly annoys me about Nancy , but she's done a great job of it for about 15 years and now you get some of her HOMEMADE LOVE!! HA!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Just For Fun

Canuck band Sons of Maxwell were pissed off at United airlines so they came up with a dandy little ditty and now they have gone viral. Gotta love it when the little guy gets his revenge!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Scumbag of a Lifetime

I have refrained from discussing the Casey/Caylee anthony case for the simple reason that it is virtually impossible for me to comprehend the idea of a mother taking the life of her own , and I REALLY wanted to presume Casey Anthony to be innocent of the callous and selfish murder of the one she was OBLIGATED to protect from harm ..
But today it was announced that prosecutors were going to be seeking the ultimate penalty as prescribed by the state of Florida for enhanced First Degree murder of a child ; that is , the deliberate taking of the life of a child under 12 .
First Degree Murder . Think about this for a second - she took the life of her baby with utmost malice , this wasn't a punishement gone awry nor an accident ;' had such a thing occurred , there would be a lesser , but appropriate charge attached. And in order for the Death penalty enhancement to even be CONSIDERED , the prosecutors must have explicit knowledge of intent to end a life , not simply the speculation of Nancy Grace and the outlandish "pundits" at TMZ.
Everything in me wanted there to be a mystery pervert , a visible scumbag , a boogeyman out there to have taken the innocent - not a MOTHER - but now I am realizing that not only is it possible , it is fucking PROBABLE !
In my life , I have seen my own mother foresake the safety of us kids for the affections of the men she hoped to impress and I've seen others SWORN BY GOD to protect children abuse and allow to be abused by others lives that deserve our ultimate protection and I do firmly now believe in the probability that this so-called mother took her baby's life for her own SELFISH CONVENIENCE.
I'm not going to offer ANY reasonable excuse for your actions - you are a worthless little bitch!
You KNEW what you were doing , you KNEW there was a reasonable "out" , you KNEW there were people out there who wanted to love and protect that angel and would take the responsibility "off your hands" and you still took her!
I am fundamentally against the Death Penalty per se , but , for you , there is no other option - you committed the WORST offense imaginable and you should pay with your life , behind bars being the bitchgirl of the beastiest biker butches until you call it a life or until the state makes you ride the lightning . You deserve nothing but contempt , no solace , no joy . you have taken it from your child , your humiliated family , and the world. You have made life so fucking harsh for those who love you that they even want to take their own lives .
You are the epitome of evil and evil must be exterminated.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A Soup Chronicle

It's an unseasonably shitty day out which means I am sitting here with my coffee desperately waiting for someone's roof to leak to be called in to service to alleviate my boredom and make me feel like a hero for a moment . It sucks because just as we are getting out of this recession and now have all of the not-so-rainy-day seismic work we can eat , the GuyInTheSky just is NOT cooperating one bit , which kind of reminds me of what I used to do on days like today - make soup and reminisce about the wonderful inspirations for the soup as I go ...
And into the fry pan goes a chopped white onion....
I miss my grandmothers - they both survived far more than any of us could handle - wars , pogroms , famines , you name it - with grace and toughness and spirit and I feel supremely blessed that I should be permitted to have enjoyed their presence , their gifts , wisdom , and even periodically , whippins . Today , I'm going to delve into my dad's mum , because I seldom mention her and she was possibly THE most positive influence in my life prior to her passing at the end of 1989 .
....and into the stock pot goes the onion and a can of cononut milk and the pan 5000 mushrooms and garlic....
I used to spend a lot of summers with my grandmother . she lived in a very humble semi-shack just off of Lake simcoe which did not have the things that most of us find comfortable , but her and I most certainly did - she didn't have a bathtub , but we always had the lake or a big old washtub in the wintertime . She had a Quebec tube stove in the kitchen and an outhouse lined with this odd tape from a local factory and newpapers for insulation . She had this hyperactive poople named Pierre and a blind sheepdog who followed me from place to place . There was an old fella one side who stored hundreds of ice fishing huts and a huge spanse of raspberry bushes to the other that were the source of many breakfasts and me being covered in pink Calamine from the insect bites from the atomic mosquitoes and blackflies that called the grove home.
...the mushrooms are becoming one with the stock pot...
Everything in my grandmother's world had some handiwork attached , very little manufactured , although she would buy my favourite cereal for my visits there , which my dad saw as dumping me off and we both relished . And , like most others , she could fix ANYTHING (after she died we found over 20 antique irons she had restored in a box in the closet) and nothing went to waste - she was the queen of recycling before it came into vogue . Milk bags were rinsed and hung to become lunch bags and tin cans could become anything .
....a ton of water goes into the pot with some butter as I go to do a quick run.....
My grandmother was a phenomenally intelligent and witty and worldly woman , however , and she could command the attention of any audience to tell her selected tidbits in a thick accent that I think every old granny should have . She was an amazingly well-read woman who had lived so much of her life in chaos that she simply got back to nature and found absolute serenity , peace with a world that had brought her pain , without bitterness . But she kept her passion and her will , but most of all , her humanity . Another rainy day may bring a few of those stories she told over tea , but for now I will go off to my soup with thoughts of a real-life superhero and a little inner peace and a lot of joy that was fought for by the humble immigrant grandparents that absolutely changed the world for the better . They fought and survived while others perished so that they could tell the tales and forge the next generations in the hopes that we will not repeat the mistakes of the oppressors of the past .

Monday, July 6, 2009

And Out Of The Woodwork

Tomorrow , 20,000 or so lucky folks will get to attend the memorial services for Michael Jackson at the staples Center and Nokia Theater . There were millions of people who entered a lottery online for the chance to get to pay their last respects to a man they saw as iconic . Of course , there were also weasels who entered the lottery and I've seen tickets listed on craigslist for $10 000 and up . This image here was ripped from an Ebay listing that has current bidding up to $5000 for ONE wristband . Yet another listing for a premium pair has hit - get this kids OVER $88 , 000 before being flagged and pulled from sale , but you and I know there are gonna be idiots by the venue trying to sell these tickets off tomorrow.

Now , I get that people REALLY want to go to this event , i really do .....but , seriously , why not just donate $10 000 to a charity that Jacko dug instead of supporting snake scalper assholes ? Come on kids , use your heads - don't disgrace the name of the guy you are trying to remember by supporting the kind of fools he spoke out against .

Almost Speechless

Now , we know that stupid people , usually kids , car surf. I've done it , friends have done it , I've driven behind dudes who have done it , and it is epically stupid. It is apparently the cause of over 30% of auto-related injuries in Quebec , and a dude died yesterday in Montreal after deciding to stand on the roof of his buddy's SUV and the driver is facing a littany of charges because he didn't even bother to stop the truck after Kevin Ducharme fell off. this isn't terribly weird except the driver is 33 and the dead surfer was 38 .
Apparently stupid isn't wasted on the young.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Oh Canada - How Could You?:?

On thurdsay a first-class shitstain got paroled - released to the public . Doesn't sound too unusual so far ... except for this guy is a convicted multiple child rapist who should have been deported . Farid Noedost came to Canada as a refugee from Iran 13 years ago and was granted permanent immigrant status which would normally still allow him to be deported for being a dickweed.
within a few years he became something of a known drug dealer and con man running dial-a-crack schemes in winnipeg and was arrested and fined several times for such behaviour . Eventually he was arrested for drugging and raping 15 and 16 year old girls on camera as well as possessing 133 crack rocks and threatening to rape and murder a female Police officer. He got a lousy 3 year hit for the crimes and was granted an early out even though the judge claimed him to be a danger to children and - get your fucking head around this - HE CANNOT BE DEPORTED TO IRAN BECAUSE HE "CONVERTED" TO CHRISTIANISTY IN PRISON and Iranians don't really look kindly on apostasy ; in an extreme instance , he could see the nasty end of a sniper rifle for it.
Now , don't think Canada is soft when it comes to places that will execute people , because , Charles Ng is sitting on Death row in California after we kicked his ass out . He tried pulling the refugee crap too . Now in fuckhead Farid's case , he was a Geneva convention Refugee prior to all his mess and we actually do adhere to the Conventions ; however - there IS an out - if the Federal Public Safety Minister declares him to be a dangerous offender , Farid Noedost could get the boot.
Can you think of a case that deserves the exception more than this?

To contact Peter Van Loan , Public Safety Minister :
Minister of Public Safety
House of Commons
Ottawa, Canada K1A 0A6 or EMAIL

OK , vancouver - Another Scumbag

OK , mums and pops in Vancouver , watch your little ones even moreso than usual - there's a fuckwad out in surrey and he likes BABIES .
Some shitstain abducted a 6 year-old girl at knifepoint from her older brother's care and raped her in the bushes in surrey and he's still out there so if you've got a kid with you and some little Asian dude comes up to you with a knife KILL THE FUCKING PERVERT .
Seriously , kids ,. the pervert is a dark-complected asian dude , 5'9" , late 20's with a crewcut who dresses like a hoodrat and hangs out near ballparks .
watch your kids always ... these creeps can be anywhere.

cbc has a clip on this

Friday, July 3, 2009

RIP Compuserve

Compuserve is gone , swallowed up by the megamarts of the internet community . The grandmama of the internet started in 1969 and I vividly remember the old handest-into-orifice login process of the early 80's and was fully immerssed , my uncle showing me the technology that has changed the world as we know it. This is essentially the memory. But glorious mama of the net , you are gone , but not forgotten . Geeks like myself will never forget you , you are and what is perfect about the world . Rest in Peace Compuserve .
For details on how to convert your Compuserve account into todays tech click HERE

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Holy Fuck - This is North America??

OK , kids , I know I'm not really in any business to be talking about American politico shistains , but I've a few pals in Oklahoma who are severely disturbed about the fact that 58% of their population voted for Sally Kern , so I am gonna open my big mouth .

There was a time when the Republican Party in America was fiscally responsible and very equal : Martin Luther King was a Republican , as was Lincoln . Sure , there were some members of the party with strong religious convictions , but there were those who were non-christians , and even atheists , and it went equally for the Democrats as well . Nowadays , both sides of the political spectrum are expected to adhere to a Christian ideal that is just plain ignorant , as evidenced by the number of Republicans who question whether Obama is "Christian" enough and the number of Democrats who would never vote in a Jewish president .

Religiosity has become a part of policy on both sides of our fair border and I , for one , believe it violates EVERYTHING both of our nations stand for , and all it is doing is solidifying state and provincial divisions , with Florida pitted against New York and Ontario against Alberta - last time I checked , in both of our cases , it was a "nation under God" and not "many nations under Jesus" .

I thought we were supposed to be pulling together in lean times , instead of warring , conserving dollars spent on P.R. in order to give it to the needy - then why were taxpayers forced to spend money on Oklahoma's ridiculous hate-filled proclamation against the Government (you can find the full shebang HERE ) ?? and why were Canadian taxpayers forced to spend vast sums now and in the future on divisive legislation like Bill 44 ? All the while , kids all over our continent are sufferring ..I just do not get it - Where is the love , the unity , the FREEDOM? And where is this money magically coming from?

Stop creating fucking diversions and do your jobs as prescribed by LAW . To do otherwise is FRAUD and I hope with every fibre of my being that every maligned citizen of Oklahoma and
Alberta protests and writes letters and does whatever they can legally to make your scumbag lives miserable so you walk out the door .
People like Sally Kern and Ed Stelmach are the REAL social disease.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Things That Make You Go Ewwww - Once again

When I first moved to Vancouver Island , I was helping my older cousin move her belongings to a new apartment . . Chris is a notorious packrat that has kept some canned goods and magazines for a decade or better . Of course , it didn't occur to me that she was quite this bad when she offered me a Velveeta sandwich . I was pretty famished , so I happily helped myself to a couple of these and they seemed the same as any processed cheese I remember - when she said something that struck me - that the "cheese" was 6 to 7 YEARS old and had not even been refrigerated the entire time . The weird part is that it seemed so indistinct that I figured she MUST be joking , that something like that would make one ill , and I was perfectly fine the next day , like nothing out of the ordinary had been in my diet. But I really didn't think about this until recently and then I came across this video that seemed to verify exactly what I was thinking - that processed food simply does not break down in any way consistent with the normal fruits and veg we eat every day.
I remember in school a prof mentioning that processed American-style cheese was about as nutritionally sound as eating a garbage bag much to the laughter of the students . After all , this shit was in a high percentage of our lunch packs and the Kraft Corporation advertised it as heathful , you know , with the "goodness of calcium" and all . But if you look at the ingredients list of Plastic Cheese and the most common fast food items , you might need to be a chemist to realize that these "foods" do , indeed , have a lot in common with the plastic that packages them . I mean , we know about sodium and fat and whatnot , but , seriously , what the HELL are we feeding our kids?
Care to take a guess what this is...?
Soybean oil, pickle relish [diced pickles, high fructose corn syrup, sugar, vinegar, corn syrup, salt, calcium chloride, xanthan gum, potassium sorbate (preservative), spice extractives, polysorbate 80], distilled vinegar, water, egg yolks, high fructose corn syrup, onion powder, mustard seed, salt, spices, propylene glycol alginate, sodium benzoate (preservative), mustard bran, sugar, garlic powder, vegetable protein (hydrolyzed corn, soy and wheat), caramel color, extractives of paprika, soy lecithin, turmeric (color), calcium disodium EDTA (protect flavor).

Give up? ...It's the SAUCE for a Big Mac . And , for that "healthy" McNugget that McDo pitches in it's new wholesome Happy Meal , well , it has 38 ingredients that most people cannot even pronounce . But we all know that this stuff is bad for us and our kids , but it's cheap , convenient , and addictive . But what freaks me out the most is that the stuff doesn't decompose properly so all that garbage is getting directly filtered through your liver Do Not Pass Go. And what to say for the environmental impact of the production and disposal of such "foods"? I mean , most people know that factory farming causes more environmental impact than any other industry , but when you add the chemical processing and the fuels needed to produce some of these peculiar additives , we are talking about something disastrous in more ways than we previously thought possible . And what about the leftovers , the unsellable old stock , the stuff that even the fat kid couldn't finish ? Well it simply does not biodegrade and same goes for the waste that "slides" through your system and has to be removed from the wastewater system . Can I get a big "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"? Everything is connected . when we modify food in such a way that it becomes unrecognizable our bodies and the Planet will cease to recognize it back.

I think I'm gonna eat an apple now.

Just For Fun - Canadian Edition

Bob and Margaret - Friends for Dinner

A goofy canadian cartoon - warning it's a full episode at 22 minutes .
figured I'd channel the British end of the Canadian spectrum since I did the poutine thing earlier.
Happy 142nd canada!

Oh , Poutine!

In honour of Canada's birthday , I found a clip from the fine folks at the CBC about a distinctly Canadian dish - yes , boys and girls - POUTINE!!! It is now sold coast to coast , even in my local Pub ; a glorious mess of spuds , cheese curds and gravy with a liberal dousing of pepper , it is comfort food for young and old . I've enjoyed it after the pub in Quebec at 4 AM , in Toronto for lunch , and even at a Wendy's in Northern Ontario . Enjoy !