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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Unemployment and a new Scumbag of the week.

  I'm doing the extended vacation thing . While i am doing so , I am reading A LOT , including all of the newspapers and blogs I can eat ... so here is my I'm-on-vacation-and-can't-figure-out-this-laptop review of the yays , nays , annoyances , and obligatory trashing . I haven't quite figured out yet who the Scumbag is , but I'm sure it will follow . OK , cats , here she flies ....

   Apparently in our unfair world there are just not enough jobs to go around , so says the media anyways . People are complaining , going on EI (UI or UB in the USA) , losing homes , all sorts of really bad things are happening to average , everyday people . So , when I saw the headlines in the local papers announcing hardships and how people were being "forced" to take shitty jobs , I decided to do a little research for myself . I checked out the employment adverts of several papers , the yellow pages , craigslist , the ServiceCanada Job Bank , and others , using myself as a guideline . Guess what I found , kids? OVER 50 COMPANIES THAT NOT ONLY WOULD ACCEPT SOMEONE WITH MY SKILLS BUT WERE BASICALLY BEGGING. That's right , cats and dawgs , in a span of a couple of hours , I found that I could get a job at the drop of a hat should I choose to move here , and a good paying one at that . The lowest wage in any trade I saw was $10 an hour - for someone with zero experience working for an unlicensed firm . Not huge cash , but more than an unemployment cheque will give you , and besides , most companies start at double that here and it goes up fast - $40 an hour is not unheard of .  The point of this was that there are jobs for those tough enough to work them in Canada . Get those paws dirty in a trade - the only jobs out there where more people are dying off and retiring 3 times faster than they can find replacements . With the smell comes the pride of doing a job few others want to do for money and benefits that few others get . Trades aren't for everyone - in fact only 1 in 100 grunts goes on to get the full ticket and of the educated crowd , less than 1 in 4 stays in the trade - but stick it out , whether it's for some summers paying your ass through college (and getting that physique and tan that others pay for) , paying your mortgage before you become the next big thing , or whether you want to be a lifer . Oh , and college cats - a lot of companies will give you grants , tools , flexible hours during the school year , medical , dental , optical , and other benefits to go with the job . The days of the prison work crew mopping tar are long gone - all trades need that combination of brains and brawn TODAY regardless of what CNN and the CBC keep telling people . 
Plus , tell me something hotter than that buff bloke shingling your sister's crib or the mama driving the crane ? Grit is sexy boys and girls . i get checked out constantly by men , women , and people whose genders I'm unsure of (those are my favourites) on a several-times-daily basis and I'm not the hottest cat around . 

Ok , next irritation , Swine flu panic . I'm not sure if any of you were sufficiently sober in 2003 (I was actually sober for ALL of 2003) , but remember SARS?? OK - get this - Vancouver is the point-of-entry for more Chinese than anywhere in the Western world , but due to careful MEDICAL solutions , avoided the outbreak of fatal cases that Toronto had , and Vancouver scientists are under the radar once again . The USDA wants everyone to "know" that you cannot contract this disease from pork . The problem is - they are WRONG . In the factory farms where every critter is so tightly packed and then in the nowhere-near-sterile slaughterhouses , contaminants are the rule , not the exception . In almost ever package of meat , there is poo , and where there is poo , you can catch all sorts of weird stuff . The USDA will issue warnings about E.Coli or Salmonella in produce , but not meat - look it up if you don't believe me . Over 95% of food-borne diseases are caused by contaminated critters - be fuckin careful if you want to put this stuff in your body . You are a million times more likely to get salmonella or listeriosis than Swine flu . I'm not fucking worried . Worrying messes up the hard drive of your immune system . 
   Next ... US Border Patrol screeners .... ok , I know that they send the really stupid fuckwads to our border , but , come on , where'sa your fuckin brains assholes ? OK , major pissoff - my stepdad got denied from entering the US because he had a DUI - IN 1987!!!! He was dragged into their office and interrogated for hours . Apparently these bozos also had a major problem with the fact that my mum didn't take his last name when they got married and these hicks found that highly objectionable to their "christian" values . Seriously , people FUCK OFF ALREADY! The only thing that might be harmed by him entering any country might be his own liver . And I know for a fact that these useless cunts really get their jobs cause mummy or daddy works for the government because if they had any cojones , they would get sent to the mexican border . One of my buddies was doing some braniac artfart thing in Salt Lake , so of course , being in a car , he has to go through these checkpoints . The usual "where are you going , etc." he replies that he is going to UTAH . The border weed promptly asks "Isn't that somewhere in Texas?" . I'm not joking. 

     Oh , and for SCUMBAGS , there are few worse than the group of kids who beat a 55-year-old man named Donald Hooker to death in Ridge Meadows , BC (basically Vancouver)  , basically for shits and giggles . apparently they wanted something of this old cat's , he said no , obviously not thinking he was gonna get killed for it , they killed him for daring to say no to being mugged . According to , there were a group of teenage scumbags who killed the fella while a bunch of other dudes just watched and then took off afterward . So , this man was basically killed by the collective apathy of those who looked on . These kids were unarmed , and by estimates , around 16 years old - not ONE of the dozens could have stopped this man from being killed? I'm not sure what's worse - beating someone to death or standing by cheering it on and then taking off before the cops get there but ALL of you are my fuckin SCUMBAGS OF THE WEEK . 

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Nice house . $150 million . More than any of us assholes will make in 10 lifetimes . $ bars , a bowling alley , skating rink , and enough pools to drown half of Saudi Arabia . And a new roof. A COSMETIC new roof that is going to leak all over the new owner's antique Steinway .
Just thought I'd point that out.

On a Serious Note

Now those of you who know me , know of my pity for my biological father and his reprehensible behaviour over the years , his mistreatment of my siblings , etcetera , etcetera . But this blog isn't about him .
You see , my dad lives in this town called Woodstock . It's southwest of Toronto and it's a pretty friendly place with about 35 000 folks , mostly of the hard-working and honest variety . I used to work in Woodstock for a while , living in Toronto and commuting on the Via Rail train . The folks are genuine , non-judgmental , wholesome folks who routinely leave doors unlocked and wouldn't be shocked to see your drunk ass on their sofa in the morning . It's a remarkably safe place to raise your kids and everyone knows you by name . Well , it WAS a safe place ...
Rod Stafford moved to Woodstock with his kids recently under the guise that it would be a wonderful place for his kids to grow up . All was well and decent and wholesome and proper - until April 8th when Rod's little girl never came home from school . Nobody has seen a sign of her since . Rod's kid has a name . Her name is Victoria and she's 8 years old and if someone hasn't done the unthinkable she is scared. Somebody knows something . Please bring this kid home .

hug your kids


Because I was Dared to

Litterbox in his eminent stupidity has putout some discoey eurotrash kind of - I don't know what the fuck it is , but I made someone watch it and they were not pleased. So , in fairness , we have me and my shitty fran drescher mic reaction to the shitty video . anyways heres the Shiteo

And here's me laughing my face off for 3 consecutive minutes at the shiteo. Fuck I hate Perez. But a deal is a deal.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Litterbox Lavandeira : Scumbag of the Weak

I wasn't going to write about Perez anymore , but circumstances beyond my control have necessitated it.
Mario has used the unfortunate suicide of a bright young kid for publicity , but not the kind where people step up to help , but the kind where Litterbox gets to prop himself onto a higher pedestal than ever before. Jaheem Herrera and Carl Walker-Hoover were real people with bright futures ahead of them that just could not stand the torment of others and ended their lives because nobody stepped up to defend them and this issue absolutely needs to be brought to light. Kids are being beat down and worse every single day . Suicides , murders , "corrective" rapes - they are all common in society today because redneck assholes see different as threatening and teach their insecure kids to be the biggest fish in the pond. No redneck asshole wants a sissy for a son and no farm wife wants her daughter to wear a tux to the prom . It sucks , but it's true . And the mindset needs to change. - check it out kids

But , once again , Litterbox , has made it HIS fight , because no gay is oppressed as much as that star-fucker wannabe . For those of you who don't know gay people , we are not at all like Perez . He is the exception , not the rule. And any of you young cats who need someone to look up to , drop me a line and I'll find you someone who doesn't need to use your pain for their profit. Trust me , Perez is the poster boy for internalized homophobia . He hates himself more than anyone he will ever bash. End of story.

Oh , and for the Litterbox story - Perez was cutting up one of my buddies (unlike him I don't need to name-drop. ) and the person was pretty upset about it . I was like "Don't worry . My cat buries things prettier than him." Let's just say the mood was a lot lighter afterwards . Anywho , whenever we are taking the dog/cat/ferret for a "walk" , we are taking it for a "Perez". And if it's a Bullmastiff/pot-bellied-pig/siamese cat , it's an "Atomic Perez". Little inside joke I thought I would share . (Besides "Litterbox Lavandeira" sort of has a ring)
I fully expect that , in honour of Earth Day , Mario will claim to have invented recycling .
Then his head will explode under the immense pressure and I will LAUGH.

Oh , courtesy of the fine folks over at Daily Sell Out , we have a nice look at Perez a couple years back just as his noodle was starting to inflate. I won't post any of the newer stuff with him in it because I don't think his recent behaviour deserves the ego-inflating web hits .

Hug your kids and Cats

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Queen of Homophobic Mania

....after the fantastically entertaining Miss California /Perez gong show , I was reminded of an old post from a year or so back .... here it is , and if I feel like giving him more of my time , I will ....


I was somehow linked to Perez Hilton's website .(via PETA) I had seen this tweaker as a "celebrity" guest on TV before , but before you diss a dude , you should check him out. It's only fair , right?

As it turns out , the celebrated "Queen of All Media " suffers from such enormous amounts of internalized homophobia , he uses his blog to unleash it upon the world. He uses non-creative homophobic epithets and childish scrawlings to insinuate anyone he doesn't like is gay and to insult those who are brave enough to come out . If a straight guy did this , he would be sued . ( although I have heard this guy has been) At the very least , people would call him a homophobic moron.

No self-respecting gay person should EVER give this angry meth queen any credit . How he ranks as a "celebrity" is just another fine example of how backward we are becoming. I am offended that actually links to this dickweed's blog . This guy is cruel to people's (sometimes very young) children and even makes fun of their animal companions . (P.C. verbage for pets) PETA needs to disassociate with him , otherwise decent people may disassociate with PETA .

Hate is Hate . It doesn't matter who is spewing it.

Back in the day , people who didn't fit in got the beat down and it sucked. Why do I know this ? Well , kids , I got the beatdown many times . My friends , mother , and numerous medical personnel have seen me in the hospital with all sorts of lovely matter oozing from my melon on several occasions. Thank G-d for the progression of society . So when I caught Mario online last night firing around grandiose crap like this : (actual twitter , and unlike Perez , I have proof) " One day , when I have grandchildren , I will look back at the fight for equality I've been waging for the last few years and be very proud." , I just about lost it. I was genuinely fuming . Despite the fact I may come across a tad harshly at times , I actually have a very long fuse and Perez had never previously been THAT relevant to me . He was just another blogger with an opinion that some barely relevant sycophants and fringe groups associated with , more of an annoyance than anything . Nothing he has ever said had affected me the way that his recent statements evident of a seriously egocentric mania have . I was almost HURT . And average people who remember the REAL fight were genuinely insulted , not just myself - but a littany of other average , decent people who make their livings humbly . But , you know what Perez - G-d never gives a man more than he can handle - and you can't handle the TRUTH. And that's what makes you so sad.

...that's all the time I'm gonna give him....


Monday, April 20, 2009

Xtra, Lam , and the scumbag du jour

All righty folks , I'm sure I'm going to hear about this , but to hell with it.
Ray Lam is a very gay , very left-wing politician running for office . I don't have a problem with that , in fact , I have supported the political party he is a member of for 15 years . Seems Mr . Lam is involved in a wee "scandal" involving him posting shit like this (he's the little dude getting the knob massage ) on his Facebook page . Now , I noticed Xtra on Twitter today having their hissyfit of the day about it so I messaged them and here was their response - @roofer_on_fire But did Ray Lam really do anything wrong? The pics are a little bit of sexual playfulness. Nothing to resign over, IMO. - . Now kids , getting stupid at a party - well , we've all done that - but if I was running for office in a serious riding against an opponent that has a chance of beating you DO NOT post shit like this online. Seriously. If queer (or any kind , for that matter) politicians don't want the Nation in their bedrooms , don't bring their bedrooms to the nation. I mean the Schwartzencock photos were (a) public domain , (b) very ancient , and (c) things I still didn't want to see , but I mean , that dude was a shoo-in to win anyways . That said , I think I have more of a problem with Xtra and their weird hissyfit du jour than I have a problem with Ray Lam. Give him another 10 years and he'll make someone proud.
My major problem is the fact that Xtra defends all sorts of behaviour that people with any iota of common sense find abhorrent. Case in point : Johnson Aziga . Now , for those of you who don't know , he is a Hamilton-area scumbag who was RIGHTFULLY sentenced to life imprisonment for maliciously spreading AIDS to women by lying about his status . He infected at least 7 women and 2 are dead because of his lies . Of course , some AIDS activists (obviously not including myself here) are freaking out because they think it will bring about discrimination against PWAs , a large percentage of which happen to be gay. Sorry , Xtra , it won't . What it might do is make people stop and think "hey this fucker might be lying to me , I'm gonna play safe or not at all" . Okay ,okay , it also might bring about a bit of snap judgement against bug-chasing meth queens who want to get AIDS for the perceived pity . Serial bug spreaders like Aziga MUST be locked up in prisons and bug-chasers need psychiatric intervention . None of the unfortunate people I know who are living with AIDS behave like Aziga and it is a fucking insult to anyone who has lived with and died from this disease to lump them all in with that waste of space . Guess what , Xtra .... YOU did it ... And you should be ashamed...

Stupid Stuff for Posterity

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Scumbag irritation of the day

More and more scumbags are coming to Van I after the cops in Vancouver Proper keep fining them and scaring them over here in time for the whole Olympic bullshit festival . And , folks , I'm not talking about unfortunate homeless people - I'm talking pieces of shit who have had 400 chances to abuse my tax dollars and keep on stealing resources from hard-up people who really need it. I used to be one of those loving left-wing balls of smug for a bit because it was like the payback for the fact that there were louse-infested but warm places to house me when my shit hit the fan. Trust me , I'm grateful . Grateful enough not to be a piece of shit . Don't tell me that people become junkie mugger assholes because of this or that and it's not their fault - it is their fault when they choose to stay that way after the state has paid for your ass to go to rehab 25 times and got you a job and bought you a suit . I never had that shit , and most unfortunate kids don't - street kids get demonized for playing their guitars and doing shitty $2 an hour construction jobs while sociopathic fuckwads take everything from the social system and then rob little old ladies just because they can . And when they have tormented enough people and gotten kicked out of the city by cops who are sick of seeing them , they come over here - fucking fabulous!
The existing population of this valley is hard-up - and ALREADY ADDICTED. The child poverty rate is 42% . 40% of kids born here have alcohol or drugs in their system. This is a city that was one of the wealthiest in the country in the 70's and is now considered the worst city in Canada to live . Foster homes here are basements with 12 kids , their "rooms" are separated by sheets - I'm not kidding . It's bad . Nobody else will take the kids and the racist social system lets these few rich white assholes warehouse them and abuse them and even makes them richer by paying them grotesque sums to do it. Things are getting worse even , because these same assholes don't want to see the addicts and mentally ill recover so they had the rehab and psychiatric facilities shut down but , incidentally , voted to have a for-profit Federal Penitentiary installed here .
Most of the cops live in the rich white asshole areas of town so they don't even pay attention to the rest of us . In our end , there are hard working people who might even make more money than the assholes but we don't want to leave houses we have worked hard for and neighbours we love . we don't want to be pushed out by scumbag assholes but we are getting sick of getting our homes broken into , our kids getting attacked , and people getting killed because it takes 2 hours for the cops to get here . Well , scumbags , we can protect ourselves now that we know what to watch for and we watch each other 's backs . That's what real human beings do . Scumbags come in all kinds , you know who you are.
Anyways , I have to get out of here , but I needed to growl .

a serious note

check this out kids

hug your kids and cats


Friday, April 17, 2009

Does THIS look "cute and cuddly" to you?

Now , there are a lot of us out there who don't eat animals (myself included) , and virtually everybody on the planet wants Seal hunting to stop or be reduced . Fair enough . But attacking an entire NATION because of it? Wow , humanity sucks . We consistently generalize entire nations of people based on the actions of a few morons and I'm as guilty as anyone . So where do we draw the line ? Is it only when the lives of humans are at risk or can it be applied to other living beings? We are quick to judge the horrifying conditions dogs and cats exist in in places like China . We are horrified by the sufferings of animals skinned alive for their pelts when it occurs overseas , but somehow justify it when it happens on our side of the pond. Weird , eh?
The problem is , the only people who seem concerned are a bunch of ignorant and semi-literate teenagers or college-dropout hippies . I was peering over some blog responses and saw things like "Seals are so cute and cuddly" . I'm serious . Now , I don't know about you , but I live on the coast and guess what we have here? - Seals! Of all things to describe these fascinating creatures , "cute and cuddly" doesn't seem to apply . Kids , seals and sea lions are CARNIVORES , and if you tried to hug one it would likely rip your face off. As it should , it's a wild animal that really deserves to be left alone , not butchered , but not tormented by "animal rescuers" either . But that won't work because seal fur is an in-demand consumer "product" that is purchased for vast sums by wealthy and otherwise intelligent people , people of prestige and power . In order to even argue with this , a movement needs more than green-haired kids throwing paint on people who can easily afford a dry cleaner.