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Saturday, March 3, 2012

Time To Pet The Peeve

  Here's the deal- you're at a shindig; you may be sitting or standing, sipping wine or downing a beer. It's a social event so you try to converse without having a panic attack/stuttering/leaving. And then it happens- a woman reaches into her brassiere and removes a lipstick, money, weed, or a mobile phone.

  Then everything stops.

  Everyone in the general vicinity winds up looking at this woman's chest. Some mamas are oblivious to it, and some are outwardly proud to the point of being as obvious as possible about the fact that they're using their bras as substitutes for purse or pockets.

  And this is not a good look. It makes everyone in the room feel something, and it's usually not interpreted in the way the person answering the text from her tit thinks. And while the reception may differ based on location, it tends to make others feel uncomfortable. For me, I feel awkward and weird. If I call someone out on it or express any form of obvious discomfort, a woman will usually say something like "you know you like it", but the thing is, I don't. There's just something unsettling about smoking a joint that has been under one of your cousin's breasts, but all joking aside, my aversion is because it embarrasses me.

  There are things that people can do that make others shy out, and the titsling totebag is at the top of my personal list. I asked numerous friends and they agreed. When they bear witness to bra purse, they don't know how to react. Some are terrified they'll be seen as perverts because they noticed; some pretend they are oblivious; some point it out. The point is- it hits the radar of 99% of people and the majority of folks who actually do like it are creepy fucks you don't want near you.

 Please, ladies, drag queens, and anyone else who likes to wear bras, use them to hold what they were intended to. Stop assaulting peoples eyeballs and psyches and weirding out your friends and relatives. If you absolutely must put things in your bra, please do it in the ladies' room.

  Thank you.

1 comment:

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think