Denial Of All Kinds

 Today, Bishop Richard Williamson was convicted of incitement in Germany and fined 10,000 Euros for proclaiming during a television interview that civilians were not gassed during World War II . His ultra-conservative order forbade him from attending court but his attorney had offered the novel defense that "the Bishop requested the interview not be broadcast in Germany". 

  The thing is, the interview was conducted IN Germany and broadcast all over the interwebs. Even worse, the POPE lifted Williamson's excommunication as well as those of several of his wingnut cohorts AFTER the interview was given. 

  Denial is the name of the game in all seedy affairs of the Vatican with promotions being given to the most blatant liars and weirdest members. Transfer  paedophiles, promote bigots, blame everyone else. All is fair in the underworld of the current Pope.

  This yo-yo also believes women should be excluded from higher education, that 9/11 was a conspiracy perpetuated by the U.S. government, and beating one's children for their own good. Not surprisingly, he believes that The Protocols of the Elders of Zion is an actual historical document and that Jews and Freemasons are the enemies of God. He also viewed Pope John Paul II as a Satanist. 

  THIS is exactly the kind of guys Pope Benedict digs, and why NO Catholic should EVER trust a word from  that filthy pervert's lips.

 ****the latest from The Vatican- well, we didn't really mean he's a bishop. Stay tuned.

Great New Product

 

  Beauty.com among other websites has recently started to sell something called Pocksie. What it is is some self-adhesive sticky "pocket" that is available for, say hiding weed in your bra or your ID in your miniskirt. Well that's what I'm assuming, because wearing one on the outside of your clothing makes you look like a dweeb. 

  Why dweeb? Because it is basically a 3" X 4" Elastoplast band-aid with three sticky sides instead of four.  It also makes you look stupid, because you can sure as hell buy more than 6 bandages for $10 (plus shipping and handling) . Your new changepurse is an overpriced item you could have ripped off from your mum's first aid kid, which is where I'm sure the inspiration came from. And a whole bunch of people are ridiculous enough to buy it, which makes the marketers geniuses. 

   If you buy this crap, you deserve a smack in the head from your mama with the Pet Rock (TM) you bought in the 80's.

Tea Time

 

 The Tea Party protests were out in full force on tax day with their colourful signage protesting, well EVERYTHING. What started as a conservative movement has become a collection of wingnuts who can't agree on anything except for they're not happy and want the whole world to know about it. 

 Here are a few of the more common whines and my opinion on them.

  "Obama bailed out the big bankers" - Actually, he really didn't. He just signed in concessions and bailouts that Bush had already guaranteed his cronies and then had the balls to publicly chastise those who misused funds. It should come as no surprise to you that while Republicans have publicly blamed banks, their political campaigns are funded by those same bankers. That's why they attacked the bailout as opposed to individual organizations. They aren't going to REALLY bite the hand that feeds. If McCain had been voted in, the same bailouts would have occurred, possibly greater. 

 "We hate public healthcare. Everyone should pay their own way." - but don't you DARE touch my Medicare. Medicare is a public health program that all taxpayers pay into . What's the difference? Well, because white senior citizens collect Medicare and the highest Social Security Payments and tend to vote Republican, and the working poor tend to vote Democrat, Independent, or not at all. Unhealthy kids do fare worse in the long run, and there's nothing scarier than the vibrant offspring of the little guy growing up to be educated, voting adults.

  "Obama is an evil Marxist, Communist, etc" ; "Obama creates taxes" - If Obama hated capitalism, why would there be MORE working people then before this tragedy that he was handed? If he was a Marxist he'd be really pissed off at the idea that the stock market has rebounded by 3000 points. Working-class folks have enjoyed tax BREAKS, not increases. Americans paid less tax than under Bush on average. Another tasty tidbit- one of the fundamental tenets of communism is atheism and Obama believes in the same God most of the TeaBaggers do. Holding corporations accountable scares the crap out of people who worked for them before they were elected, as many conservatives did. The idea of unions is scary because the idea of paying a fair wage interferes with the bank accounts of the corporate overlords. ...which leads me to...

  "Obama wants illegal immigrants" - NO, the corporate overlords do. Who else would work 20 hours a day in your mansions, cut your lawns, raise your children, and work in factory farms for $2 an hour? Without aggressive recruitment of border-jumpers, agribusiness- the former employer of so many Reps- wouldn't be as profitable. Legal migrants scare the crap out of righties because they might have to actually report fatalities and not live off of slave labour. 

  "Obama is racist" - No, you idiots. The idea of a powerful ethnic minority scares you, just admit it. You long for the days when a guy who looks like your president had to pick cotton for years on end without pay. The thing that scares you most is the fact that inner-city kids see a fellow like Obama and decide that they too can reach for the American dream. With black and brown people in your schools and suburbs, they might actually grow up to become something. And there's nothing scarier than a generation of healthy, educated ethnic minorities. "Reverse racism" has been the argument of disgruntled southern men for decades. You didn't invent the lie - your scared, entitled grandfathers did. 

  "Obama isn't a real American" - Would you be arguing this if he were white? Absolutely not. Due to a viral urban myth propagated by a fringe newspaper, the Baggers now TRULY believe that Barack Obama is a Kenyan and not the "real" president. I completely debunk that argument HERE if you want a read. 

   The problem with the Tea Party is that it has now become a catch-all for a group that is now primarily composed of pissed-off bigots and has become overcome by the next generation of domestic terrorists. We have the freedom to disagree with policies and feel sad that "our guy" didn't win, but at the end of the day we are humans. And human beings are sometimes mistaken.If you want to make a credible argument, at least make your lies believable. 

  Meet you in the Middle.

  

Something Ain't Right Here

  Most people know who Lil Wayne is, even if only from the fact he's been arrested several times for gun and drug offences. He managed to dodge prison for a while to get dental work done and somehow managed to sneak in recording a shitload of rap videos, but finally he's doing his year in Protective at Rikers

  The thing that doesn't add up here is the fact that the dude is blogging from jail. How EXACTLY is he managing to do this? As it turns out, his PR lady posts excerpts from his letters on his website, which kind of falls in that grey area under New York law. But the thing is, the site is DESIGNED to profit from his criminal behaviours. The guy's site even sells "Free Weezy" shirts (for $30 each) like dude thinks he's Mumia Abu-Jamal or something. Prison is designed to suck and dude is sitting in Rat Seg making a mockery of the judicial process as well as education. (it's spelled "thanks" , not "thankx", and spelling it this way doesn't make you sound tough, but stupid.) But he's laughing at all of this on his way to the bank, and money's all that matters to this dude.

   Kids, this guy is NOT a role model. He's a criminal who likes guns and thinks it's his right to not only do whatever drugs he wants to but bring them across the border. Hopefully, the folks in Arizona give him a real sentence after his picnic at Rikers, but he'll probably skate. The only reason he plead out to this was to further his career and hope everyone would forget his subsequent arrests.  Just because a dude can rhyme doesn't make him a MAN, as evidenced by the slew of micro-Waynes crawling around. All this aside, if you or I had been nailed for doing close to what Tha Carter has been, we'd be locked up for a VERY long time. We certainly wouldn't be permitted to PROFIT from our crimes.

   Wayne Carter is just another example of the fact that there is no such thing as equal punishment under the law. 

When Karma Gets You In The Ass

 A 21-year-old German dude seems to like to break into his favourite sporting equipment store in the yawning hours, and in his third endeavor, he decided to do it pissed out of his gourd. 

   The serial thief flew through the window and promptly fell on his ass. Unfortunately, he landed on top of a pile of leaders with fish hooks attached. The cops quickly caught the guy because he was staggering from the pain and booze ingestion. Sure enough, when they caught up to him, he had several hooks imbedded in his posterior. He could have been just a regular dude with fish hooks in the ass except for the fact that the price tags were still attached to the leaders . 

   Evidently, you CAN put a price on stupid.

ripped from speigel.de

Hipster From Hell

 Since I've kind of got a theme going today, I bring you this beauty courtesy of my mother . She saw this and uttered "Oh dear G-d" and figured you should all enjoy this.

The text reads "Though she was a tiger lady, our hero didn't have to fire a shot to floor her. After one look at his Mr. Leggs slacks, she was ready to have him walk all over her. That noble styling sure soothes the savage heart! If you'd like your own doll-to-doll carpeting, hunt up a new pair of these he-man Mr. Leggs slacks"....etc etc.

This ad was published within my lifetime, but you can sure bet that if this "American Psycho-meets-Peta's worst nightmare" waste of paper came out today, groups everywhere would be taking a collective shit.

In Honour of Confederate History Month

 Ads of the past have some pretty creepy imagery and stereotypes, but this takes the Jello Mold.

   The text is kind of puny, so I'll reprint it here for the benefit of those without 52-inch screens.

"Jello is known to all sections as America's Most Famous Dessert. In the South, for instance, it is inexpensive enough to be found in the cabins of the old plantation. It is delicious enough to meet the standards of good living at 'The Big House'. It is dainty enough for milady's afternoon tea. It is appealing enough to turn the sinful, of any color, away from his neighbour's melon patch."

  And people wonder why African Americans seem a little culturally "sensitive" to ethnic jokes.

  Oh my hell.