The Pain By Shane

The blog post that caused this reaction can be found HERE

Thanks , asshole , I love you too.

Requested Reprint Blog : Michael Phelps

Monday, February 02, 2009
Phelps and whatnot

Seems that the moral police over at CNN and Fox News are all up in arms about the "aberrant" behaviour of Michael Phelps . Seems that the kid has been caught passed out drunk and smoking a (very nice) bong. They are questioning all sorts of things about a normal kid doing dumb kid shit . Now if it was a Canadian (like Ross Rebagliatti) caught in the vicinity of cannabis or a European (like the English Winter Olympic team ) passed out drunk ,it is excused . In fact , Ross became a millionaire from the publicity and had his mug on the cereal box AFTER the Fox News created "scandal" . (Mind you , cereal may be THE preeminent stoner food) Come on people , who died and made CNN the great moral authority of the Western Hemisphere? There is this monstrous headline questioning whether or not Phelps is "An American Hero". Now when I think of a Hero , I think of Police Officers , Firefighters , Peacekeepers (oops , those are Canadian) , Pilots , etc. Now if Phelps uses his superhuman gift to jump into a roaring current to save a toddler , then he's a hero. Otherwise , he's a kid with a great talent who should be able to do the same dumb shit and follow his own learning curve without undue scrutiny . He's not getting women knocked up all over the place , he's not running a dogfighting ring , or doing anything more offensive than maybe attempting to fondue a Cheeto. (don't ask)If you are looking for someone to blame for your kid being a stoner , look at their friends and your own neglect and/or naivite . Michael Phelps is just the latest in a long line of people made scapegoats by a generation of sissy parents too egotistical to take the time out of their important lives to properly care for their offspring .

Note To California

Susan Atkins committed horrific acts before most of us were even born . Many people offer the excuse that she was under the mind control of Charles M. Manson and LSD , but I am not going to offer such justification . She participated in one of the most horrifying crime and murder sprees of modern times and admitted to ending the lives of Sharon Tate and her unborn child . She was justifiably sentenced to spend her remaining days safely locked away from the positive human experience . She was denied parole for the 17th time despite being a case in rehabilitation and being paralyzed by malignant brain cancer . By being denied such release , she was determined to be a threat to human life . In my estimation , the only reason why she was denied such release is because of the notoriety of the crimes - if the unrepentant Lockerbie bomber should be released than an exemplary case such as Susan Atkins must be , if only for the fact that she has served over 40 years in prison and lookout and getaway driver Linda Kasabian got off scott free .

California is drowning in debt and has spent 1.2 million dollars in the last year alone on Susan's care . Her husband is a prominent attorney and would gladly foot the bill for her care if she was released , and as sick as she is now , he could be saving California's taxpayers as much as $300 000 per month .
I am not in favour of referring to this as "compassionate" release where it relates to the now Mrs. Whitehouse , but for the California people .

She has been given a death sentence , and now it's time for her family to pay for the bullet.

Ugh ... Boots?

You are NOT hallucinating - these are the new Ugg boots . At first glance I thought the hideous knit thing was to appease animal loving types , but after perusing the website , I have learned that they are still lined with the same sheepskin weirdness so this is supposed to be a fashion statement . Like the Argyle socks they are patterned after , you can bunch them up for added fright factor . Now , I may not be the most fashion-forward person on the planet , but these things are horrid , and at $200 a pair , they are suitably expensive enough that some famous twat is going to promote them and some wee relative of mine is going to pester me for a pair .

Ugg , taking the two WORST footwear trends and combining them does not make them fashionable - ever heard of the old phrase "two wrongs don't make a right" ?

Ugg - Uggly boots for Uggly people .

Dear : The GAP

I really love the fit of your denim . You see I am afflicted with very long legs and most jeans are either 8 sizes too large or slide down my ass , but not yours . I love how those 7 extra-longs fit me and make me feel like I have the greatest ass on the planet , but I have an issue that I am unable to ignore . That is your endorsement and promotion of Perez Hilton's CocoPerez website . Not only are you a sponsor , you are the presenting , founding endorser of the website that just sugar-coats his judgments on others . He ridicules innate traits of children and dances on the graves of the dead . He is nobody's friend - he'll even ridicule people wearing your brand if he thinks it will get him publicity , and it's not fair to you , your models , or your consumers , most of whom would be repulsed by this association . I mean , if you are SO proud , post headers in your stores of him dressed like this

and see how many people leave in disgust never to return .

He is not an asset to your marque , and while I will miss you , I just cannot support a business that fuels the hatred that The GAP and your subsidiaries have campaigned against . Thusly , until this repulsive arrangement is severed , you will not see me anywhere in the vicinity of a GAP , Old Navy , or Banana Republic store .

Thank You ;

Mika

Faggots ...

...are pork meatballs usually made with leftover bits and organ meat with onions rolled in pork belly fat served in a heavy sauce with spuds and peas. Most Americans would find them to be quite delicious.

Now you know what they are next time you decide to use this term as an insult.

Giant Killer

The U.S. and Canadian national women's hockey teams receive millions in funding along with the best schools , sports medicine and coaching to keep atop the game . And then there is Finland - a small country with less than 5000 total female hockey players and a less than spectacular fanbase . But they have Noora Raty .

Yesterday , the defending world champs thought they had an easy one . They were leading 2-0 after the first and thought themselves unstoppable . And then Noora Raty closed the door .

....49 TIMES ....

The big Americans tried crashing down on the skinny 5'4" kid but she kept the players as well as the pucks out of the net , the normally low-scoring Finns got inspired by all of this and erased the lead . And then took it.
Try as they might , the Stars and Stripes could not solve the kid who might just grow up to be the greatest of all .

Noora Raty has been awarded a position with a top-tier university with a free education and I cannot think of anyone in the sports world more deserving .

Heart . It's the intangible factor that creates miracles on and off the ice .