Educated Guess

 
Michele Bachmann does indeed tow the Tea Party line, waving the Constitution in the air whilst demanding adherence to antiquated religious models. On Monday, she addressed Jim DeMint's forum, specifically attacking the Department of Education, with this statement:

"The Constitution does not specifically enumerate nor does it give to the federal government the role and duty to superintend over education," Bachmann said. "That historically has been held by the parents and by local communities and by state government. To put that into the federal government as we saw a Department of Education in the late 1970s has eviscerated the constitutional understanding that the control of education truly lies with the parents."


  Mrs. Bachmann has experience with educational authorities herself, as well as the Constitution. In fact, after discovering that one of her foster kids' homework seemed too fun, she founded a charter school with six others. She was forced to resign in less than six months because the publicly-funded school was aggressively forcing a Christian-based curriculum down the throats of students in contravention of state law and the U.S. Constitution. 


  Anyone else think that she might just be a tad bitter? I mean, her speech was consistent with tenther-Tea Party doctrine, but last time I checked she resided in the United States of America. Personally, I think she's just a pissed-off, bitter beast who luckily stumbled on the perfect platform, one that parrots all of her old resentments and paranoid feelings. 


  As they say, timing is everything.

Michele Bachmann Is An Idiot Of The Day: The Phyllis Schlafly Edition

  Some days, it is really too easy to pick on GOP Presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann, but today is not one of those. Today is a necessary slam, not because she eats a corndog funny, but because of who she professes her idol to be.

  In a webcast, Representative Bachmann and Rep. Steve King heaped several minutes of praise on Eagle Forum founder and preeminent anti-woman of the last 50 years, Phyllis Schlafly. Rep. King lauded her for defeating the Equal Rights Amendment and keeping evil feminists at bay.

  Mrs. Bachmann chimed in with this lengthy endorsement:

"If I could just say a couple of words about Phyllis Schafly, she is my heroine and my example as a forerunner. As a young bride and a young mother, I read faithfully "The Phyllis Schlafly Report;" she was my lifeline to what was happening in the world.

She truly is the mother of the modern conservative movement ... I think she is the most important woman in the United States in the last one hundred years.

Whatever Phyllis Schlafly says, it's important that we listen because she's there on every issue, on every front. She is our hero, our heroine, our stalwart and I absolutely adore her. So God bless you, my dear mentor and the person that I hope to be some day. So thank you very much, Phyllis."

 While I encourage you to listen to the entire thing, I'll let you in on a few things about Phyllis Schlafly, for those unfamiliar with one of the most prominent anti-feminists of the last 3 generations.

Phyllis Schlafly did stop the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution. She used popular homophobia and sexism under the guise of women's rights to convert minds and prevent ratification of an amendment that consisted of these sole points:

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.

Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

Here are some smart kids spelling it out for you:

Secondly, Mrs. Schlafly believes, to this day, that women cannot be raped by their husbands. In 2007, while giving a speech at Bates College, she uttered the following:

"By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape.


She didn't back down from the statement, in fact, she affirmed it in 2008, when Washington University bestowed an honorary doctorate on her. In an interview with the student newspaper, she reiterated her prior statement.


"I think that when you get married you have consented to sex. That's what marriage is all about, I don't know if maybe these girls missed sex ed."


  Phyllis Schlafly has all kinds of other crazy ideas too. From blaming the Virginia Tech massacre on the English department to calling for the impeachment of a Justice who voted to bar minors from receiving the death penalty, old Phyllis is the proud queen of the ultraconservative lobby. She also believes in men's supremacy, with a strong belief that men should avoid career women at all costs, and even the fact that women deserve less pay than men in order to encourage them to pursue their Christ-approved position as wives and mothers of many children: “we want a society in which the average man earns more than the average woman so that his earnings can fulfill his provider role in providing a home and support for his wife who is nurturing and mothering their children”.


She doesn't believe in women holding management positions, wage equality, or discrimination protection in the workplace for women because such protections might give women overtime work or promotions that interfere with her far more important domestic duties. To this day, the 87 year old Queen of Mean is at the forefront of movements against women's health care, gay rights, and fair divorce. 


Michele Bachmann desires to go to the White House with the teachings of her headmistress firmly at the forefront of her policies. Phyllis Schlafly is one of the meanest women in the public eye, and Bachmann wants to be a bigger, badder, louder version of her.


Between Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry, the U.S. is inching closer toward  a theocratic plutocracy. It's all about transfer of wealth from the lower and middle classes to the wealthy few, but making sure that the privileged caste also adheres to rigid religious regulations regarding day-to-day life. It's oppression in the name of liberty, and it's the same thing that propelled the likes of the Ayatollah Khomeini and the true fascists of Europe into power. You cannot have rights if they can be taken away. What you have are privileges, and today's Tea Party wants to ensure that there are more of them for the wealthy than for the good people whose hard work made the rich who they are today. 


Next year, you will enjoy the privilege of voting with your conscience. It's up to you to ensure that the process continues.


Be well.

The Song In My Head

Were he still alive, today would be Freddie Mercury's 65th birthday. MAN, time flies. It's been 20 years since the greatest natural voice rock has ever had died from a disease nobody really talked about. Sure, Rock Hudson and Liberace had passed, but to us they were old. Freddie was legendary, to be sure, but he was still highly culturally relevant when he died. Still, he withered away physically and denied the reason like so many others did.

Now, a lot of people I used to know are gone as well. A much as people will say that some deserved it and some didn't, I'll tell you that there's no "good" way to get HIV. A person sounds the same dying of aggressive pneumonia; Kaposi's Sarcoma looks the same, whether you acquired HIV from a blood transfusion or your boyfriend. Trust me- I've seen it up close and personal dozens and dozens of times. 

Today, people reminisce fondly about Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan, but that warmness is not usually exhibited by those who have lost friends, spouses, or kids from the disease. Between Reagan's "ignore the disease because it's just about homos" philosophy to Thatcher's outwardly homophobic policies which made gays even more marginalized, a ton of people got sick and died horrible deaths in the prime of their lives. It took the deaths of people like Freddie to make people wake up to the fact that, as my worn-out ACT-UP shirt says, silence equals death.

Freddie Mercury knew there would be no cure for his condition, but hoped that his final admission could be of some help to someone. If the only afterlife is in the memories of others, Freddie Mercury's had a monumental life after death. Over a billion people watched the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert, raising millions of dollars and opening the minds of people across the globe. 

For Freddie, The Show Must Go On. And it continues today.

Buy this on iTunes 

Yo, Believers : Letting Go Of God Part 12

If you're a religious person, you may not empathize with the irritations suffered by atheist/agnostic/skeptical folks around you; in fact you might even try to proselytize to them. You may do so out of genuine concern for their mortal soul, or you might not realize what you do, but every John: blah: blah-blah you send signifies that you have no respect for the non-belief of those around you. This may not be the intended result of your subversive preaching, but quietly annoyed we are.

Non-brainwashed people are expected to somehow try not to offend the deluded. We're supposed to smile and nod while someone rips out a quote about the evils of homosexuality from Leviticus and the next minute claims that it's only the New Testament that matters. It is the believer who angers if his or her crackpot creationist theory is categorically disproven by science. Creationists freak the hell out when it's even suggested that the story of Jesus is identical to Mithra and oodles of previous savior gods and there is no proof of any of them existing. It is always the potential offense of the religious person that it taken into account, even if said religious person is beet-faced and screaming at the top of his lungs that atheists are Satanists and that the only life worth living is one spent in submission to a god they cannot see, hear, or touch; one that loves him, but will send anyone to a screaming, eternal pyre for torture until Satan tires of him.

The thing is, I don't care what you believe in. Whatever gets you through the day without killing someone is fine with me. Your belief is actually of fairly little concern to me if you're not ramming it down my throat, and even if you try, I'll be generally patient enough to change the topic to something that won't cause you to suffer a cerebrovascular accident. I'm nice like that, and I can safely say that most free thinkers are pretty chill when it comes to what you choose to believe.

The problem is, most creationists I have met see my lack of angry reaction to their ridiculousness as a sign that there's a smidgen of belief in there, and this is a sign from god that they need to witness to me. But I'm atheist, which means that no gods or goddesses presented in storybooks have proven themselves worthy of belief, let alone submission to. Neither your preaching nor Youtube videos of Jack van Whatshissnatch will convert me to your illogical view of the world and the heavens. (Don't get too excited; I'm just referring to all of the stars and comets and things that have escaped from the Space Station.)

So, believers, just quit already. You are already sitting in the privileged position where you get to ask atheists a litany of questions per day, but don't take advantage of it. You don't see atheists hammering on your door when you are knocking boots with a hottie, so maybe chill the fuck out. If you stop irritating atheists with your "you may not believe in god but he believes in you" bullshit and unwelcome prayers, we may actually enjoy your company. If we do indeed have souls, mine is not yours to save. What goes on in my noggin or whether or not I pray should be of absolutely zero concern to you, because we are all individuals, and as I have stated before, I am not you. I don't need a god to tell me not to steal my neighbour's chickens; I have common sense and empathy to enable me to come to the conclusion that Bob would be adversely affected by such a selfish gesture. If all that is keeping you from lying, killing, stealing, or banging your brother's wife is the Bible, I'm truly glad for humanity that you do believe. Again, I'm cool like that.

In conclusion, take a quote from your book and love your neighbour. Love your neighbour for who he or she truly is and not for who you wish them to be. Stop trying to convert people to your faith and use the time to take a self-improvement course or go fishing with your kids. Live your own lives to the best of your ability  and stop being annoying, sanctimonious twits. And if you still haven't figured out what really frustrates your usually friendly atheist, maybe you should watch this.

A Long And Winding Blog About Gender

I'm going to show you a couple of images of products that you can find in any store. They are manufactured by much-lauded toy manufacturer Fisher-Price and are designed for 3-to-18 month old babies. Take a few second to look carefully, because it is important.

Note, that the Saw and Hammer toys are for a"busy baby boy" and the Purse and Diamond Ring are for "sweet baby girls". Yes, you too can indoctrinate your 3 month old kid into a life of forced conformity- your boy a hardy carpenter and your daughter a twit desperately waiting for Prince Charming to put a ring on it-before they can even form words.

What the blue Hell is going on here?

I know that I may not have been your typical prissy girl, but I certainly wasn't spending all my days and nights waiting passively for Prince Bloody Charming to "save" me from having to work or whatever. I was Little Ms. Busy- zooming around and getting bumps and bruises and hitting my thumb with a hammer. That being said, even though I wasn't into purses or Prince Bloody Charming, I was a pretty sweet kid. I was reasonably thoughtful and kind and quite intelligent. You can even ask my pop, as he frequents this blog.

The thing is today we seem to have completely reversed feminism. We're not only as gender-typed as we were in the 1890s, but we're even more sexist. Sure, you might be Rosie The Riveter in your day job, but when you get home you're expected to change the diapers, prepare all foods including cookies for the school bake sale, (which you will be shunned for not volunteering for because your outside job actually means something to you) serve your "king" his supper in a lounge chair, take his plate away and wash it, etcetera, etcetera. Girls are allowed to be electricians and mechanics, so long as they're sweet and gentle and make sure that their profession doesn't offend Mr. Macho Man.

But it's not just girls who are gender-typed to death, as these products show. Back in the day, there were defined gender roles, but boys' attire was quite similar to that worn by girls. Boys weren't looked at too funny if they wanted to help mum around the house, and as they got older, genuinely respected women for being there. The roles were different to be sure, but men could brag about how amazing their wives were and would open doors, buy flowers, and shower their lady with affection without being regarded as "soft" or pussywhipped for their thoughtfulness. Nowadays, boys are pressured from shortly after birth to be hypermasculine and uncaring, with gentle boys even shamed by other parents. Real men in our age best earn a lot of money, listen to no authority, and make sure that no bitch turns them down or insults their machismo in even the smallest fashion.

I was having a discussion with a gent a few days ago. He works in assisted living units for adults and is working on a nursing degree. He loves to vacation in San Francisco and is a very gentle man. So we were talking about life in general and he mentioned the fact that he doesn't have too many guy friends and chilling with his wife's friends isn't some form of torture for him. He's a gender nonconformist, and I think being in the company of someone who also doesn't quite fit may be the reason for the conversation. So, as the chit-chat went on, I mentioned that one of my brothers was considering giving up his job as the manager of a furniture importer to become a nurse as well. Mr. Social Worker pal nodded and said that it was brave for my bro to consider the career change (said brother has also had the macho job of Corrections Officer), but that it's kind of a lonely (yet still rewarding) road for the gentle giants who pursue such a non-traditional trade.

Now, my bro Chris was a gender hero long before passing this new idea through his dome. He was a big and sporting kid who also happened to love ballet. (Try envisioning a 200 pound 11 year old dude doing pirouettes in the kitchen, and you're spot-on) Today's winner of football pools is also very content dusting or cooking or whatnot. He's pretty social and has straight friends and gay friends and some in between. His right-hand man, whom he hired, is a former U.S. Marine dismissed under Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Chris doesn't care about what anyone save for his lady thinks of him because he truly believes that all people deserve to be treated with dignity. I think that if we're going to survive as a species, we need more folks like him.

We need to get to a point where we stop seeing pretty things and kind people as being weak. In our age, we still categorize everything as masculine or feminine, with the latter thought of as inferior. A girl born today can do "boy" things in many families without being kicked out of the house or beaten for it, with exceptions given to those raised in religious patriarchies. However, a boy in almost any family will be scolded or worse for even glancing toward that Barbie doll or cookset with fun in his eyes. And speaking of the cookset, have you noticed that the play kitchenettes we had as kids weren't pink? Try finding one today that isn't pink or mauve and you'll be taking far longer on your trip than you expected.

This gender policing comes into effect early, and kids do absorb it. From my nephew saying "I can't be a nurse, silly. Boys are doctors." to Larry King having his brains blown out for wearing a skirt, sexism is beyond alive and well. Girls are sweet, pretty, helpful, and less than boys, who are to be tough, bright,  active, and eventually insecure and cruel.

How is this fair?

This is not an attack on boys-quite to the contrary-but an indictment of our society which forces them to conform to unrealistic so-called norms. Your boy isn't weak for wanting to be an interior designer or hairdresser, but may just have stronger will  than the meanest linebacker. If your son-in-law wants to hang around with his kids and respects your daughter, he's not a wimp or undriven. Hanging out in the garage with dad isn't going to make your little princess into a homo. When we stop portraying our insecurities onto our children and those of others, we will have well-balanced future adults.

I mean, do boys and girls really need separate inhalers?


Thank you to Save On Foods in Victoria, BC for selling such a ridiculous product.

Your Daily Awesome

  Larry Powell started off like any other teacher a few decades back, and through hard work come rewards. Mr. Powell rose to the top of his profession, becoming Fresno County School Board superintendent. The job comes with a benefit package, decent retirement, and a hefty $288, 000 salary. But the thing is, that's just too rich for Larry Powell's blood.

  The 63 year old educator is quitting his job- for one day. He will get to regain his position overseeing the classroom experience for 195, 000 kids, but not at the same salary. Mr. Awesome will make $31, 000, just like any other teacher, because he wants to save preschool and some essential programs that have been cut. What's more- he's donating his statutory minimum salary to charity. Yes, Super Prof is working for the next 3 1/2 years for free. The move will put $830, 000 into his kids' art programs and other fun.

  So, why did he do it? The gentleman and his wife are both teachers and they figure they've been able to live the dream and will be able to live a quality life without hoarding their cheddar.

   When asked, he plainly stated "We basically asked ourselves the question, do you have to have more money  and do you just keep stockpiling it? And we decided that we didn't and that's not what we're all about."

  While I'm sure the move may puzzle Bill O'Reilly and most other rich guys with it's social idealism and all, I think that Larry Powell is close to heroic, particularly in today's day and age of excess on the backs of the poor.

  Cats like this restore my faith in humanity.

Where Have All The Children Gone?

  Remember when you were in school? If you grew up like most of us, your teachers were usually strict, yet friendly, and recesses were spent out on the playground. It was all about outside, where tougher kids might be playing rugby, fast kids played ball or tag, and quieter kids might read on the grass. It was fun and sometimes goofy, and even bullied kids like me enjoyed the break away from structure.

  Nowadays, children don't get to have fun anymore. Kids go to school, come home with piles of homework, are shuttled to ballet and judo practice, and come home and blow their minds out on the computer or gaming machine before collapsing for fewer hours of sleep than we ever had. Twice a week, they see the paediatric psychologist because they're depressed or insubordinate from the poor diet of fast food, Prozac, and little-to-no exercise. Kids get outside less because parents are afraid of the mysterious predator and schools are cutting out recesses under the guise of work proficiency.

  In recent years, 40% of American elementary schools have either reduced or eliminated recesses for various reasons. Some cite budgetary concerns, but many believe that the loss of fun time is due to overemphasis on test scores. The problem existed before the failed No Child Left Behind Act of 2009, but recess reduction has gone full-steam. And it's not just in America, but much of the highly competitive western world.

  Human beings are not hardwired to receive a continuous flow of information for 7 to 9 hours without a break. This is why most workplaces offer breaks to employees. More comfortable workplaces generally enjoy benefits such as better performance, fewer injuries, better overall mental health, and lower numbers of sick days taken. And it works in a similar fashion with smaller members of our species. Children who have no recess, or recesses-in-name-only that involve more schoolwork eventually crack. An overly stressed out young person may grow tired or despondent, with lower scores being the result. And it's no wonder that we have all of these kids with alleged hyperactivity disorders- while I know some are genuinely related to neurological or genetic issues, I believe that a great number of children are simply energetic and want to run around a field and chase the chickens like our grandparents did.

  By inundating children with too much information, too soon, and not giving them a breather, we will create some perfect corporate drones. We can use technology to rot their social skills and then dope them up when they don't fit in or when protest this absolute assault on their natural selves. And of all arguments that can be made, it simply boils down to the fact that all of this is contrary to our very essence. Despite what anti-evolutionists say, we are animals. If you look at the young of all high-order social creatures, you'll notice that they play. We may not always be certain as to why youthful fun affects the adulthood behaviour of various mammals, but it's clear that play produces positive results.

  In the western world, we get to choose our leaders; everyone from school board trustees to presidents sees his or her name on a ballot sheet. We have the right to petition our leaders for better and vote for those who have a record of caring for our youngest and most awesome citizens. Education cuts and miseducational policies are human rights violations against those too young to vote. In most states, provinces, and nations, a tax hike of under 2% would overhaul the education system to the positive, provided we get rid of these ridiculous overachievement standards and stop trying to raise a race of bored Stepford stockbrokers.

  If we let kids be kids again, I promise we'll get better adults. Oh, and boot your kids outside every so often. I'm pretty darn sure that will help too.