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Saturday, April 30, 2011

Out Of The Woodwork

  After many natural disasters have occurred in foreign lands, Western politicoreligious pundits have quipped about each earthquake, flood, or famine as a punishment from an angry god. And the rash of tornadoes in the southern U.S. unfortunately join the acts of science pawned off on an invisible sociopath in the clouds.

  As those who follow the goings-on in the Christian (not so)Right know, one of the fellows who enjoys peddling his terrifying trio of racism, homophobia, and doomsday prophecy is Bryan Fischer . Mr. Fischer of the American Family Association is well-known for his racist blog posts and the bigoted guests spotlighted on his show.

  This Friday's guest was none other than Calvin Beisner, a father of 7 and Christian lecturer. He does have a PhD in Scottish History but for some reason is the fellow that many on the right call in to argue the theological basis for his theories. Dr. Beisner has been on Glenn Beck, where he described some "Green Plot" to take over the world. Mr. Beisner truly believes that environmentalism is an evil new religion that will destroy children and cause abortions. When it comes to mainstream thought, this dude is one nutty professor; when it comes to the right fringe, he's the expert on faith-based judgments and Biblical global domination. He's a star to fundies, including some who live in Alabama and the Carolinas.

Yes, this is what one of your leaders said about your great-aunt's house getting flattened.

This is all God's wrath because humans are all sinners and this omnipotent bully enjoys seeing it's creations suffer. So, instead of sending tornadoes to wipe out Las Vegas, the ruler of the universe in his infinite wisdom decides to drop 200MPH funnel clouds over some of the most religious cities in America. This is the official version as taught by a Apologetics professor. Instead of saying "I don't know why shit happens and maybe I should find out", he offers up a long and winding lie that he hopes some people are going to be stupid enough to believe.

Calvin Beisner either does or does not know how the Earth works. He is either a person who knows at least the basics of geology and/or physics and is lying to people for commercial gain; or he is incredibly stupid. The thing is that I cannot comprehend someone with as much age as Dr. Beisner as having had existed in a hermetically-sealed bubble, not given any opportunities to learn. Calvin Beisner is blaming the victims of a national tragedy because he's too arrogant to admit that natural phenomena are not the will of some sadistic space monster. And because fear fertilizes power.

Fundamentalists like Dr. Beisner live in a world that is controlled. If you're petrified of committing some sin that will result in you spending an eternity as a supernatural shish kebab, you obey. Some say the subservience is blind, but it's actually an abusive relationship that might mimic that of the meathead down the street. "Do this or perish!", "don't do that or you'll piss of God!", "if I don't do what God says, I'm going to be punished forever." This is not a love relationship as we know it, and theocrat wannabes are all too happy to reap the rewards of a cowering population.

Dr. Beisner and Bryan Fischer are megalomaniacs who exploit every tragedy to further their divisive ends; I'm not sure why, but I suspect that they may have interpersonal issues. Rest assured, people- this is not some divine punishment. I could bore you to death with 15 videos on cloud formation, or just tell you this : If you want to actually change something, drop your Bible and its condemnations and pick up your wallet or offer to do anything but emotionally assault people trying to recover from the worst event of their lives.

U.S.: text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10. go to to donate directly to the Alabama Red Cross
Anywhere: The Governor's Emergency Relief Fund or Feeding America 

Beisner's Cornwall Alliance
Video courtesy of Southern Poverty Law Center, 

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