Apparently in our unfair world there are just not enough jobs to go around , so says the media anyways . People are complaining , going on EI (UI or UB in the USA) , losing homes , all sorts of really bad things are happening to average , everyday people . So , when I saw the headlines in the local papers announcing hardships and how people were being "forced" to take shitty jobs , I decided to do a little research for myself . I checked out the employment adverts of several papers , the yellow pages , craigslist , the ServiceCanada Job Bank , and others , using myself as a guideline . Guess what I found , kids? OVER 50 COMPANIES THAT NOT ONLY WOULD ACCEPT SOMEONE WITH MY SKILLS BUT WERE BASICALLY BEGGING. That's right , cats and dawgs , in a span of a couple of hours , I found that I could get a job at the drop of a hat should I choose to move here , and a good paying one at that . The lowest wage in any trade I saw was $10 an hour - for someone with zero experience working for an unlicensed firm . Not huge cash , but more than an unemployment cheque will give you , and besides , most companies start at double that here and it goes up fast - $40 an hour is not unheard of . The point of this was that there are jobs for those tough enough to work them in Canada . Get those paws dirty in a trade - the only jobs out there where more people are dying off and retiring 3 times faster than they can find replacements . With the smell comes the pride of doing a job few others want to do for money and benefits that few others get . Trades aren't for everyone - in fact only 1 in 100 grunts goes on to get the full ticket and of the educated crowd , less than 1 in 4 stays in the trade - but stick it out , whether it's for some summers paying your ass through college (and getting that physique and tan that others pay for) , paying your mortgage before you become the next big thing , or whether you want to be a lifer . Oh , and college cats - a lot of companies will give you grants , tools , flexible hours during the school year , medical , dental , optical , and other benefits to go with the job . The days of the prison work crew mopping tar are long gone - all trades need that combination of brains and brawn TODAY regardless of what CNN and the CBC keep telling people .
Plus , tell me something hotter than that buff bloke shingling your sister's crib or the mama driving the crane ? Grit is sexy boys and girls . i get checked out constantly by men , women , and people whose genders I'm unsure of (those are my favourites) on a several-times-daily basis and I'm not the hottest cat around .
So ... IF YOU WANT TO GET LAID , GET A TRADE !!!
Ok , next irritation , Swine flu panic . I'm not sure if any of you were sufficiently sober in 2003 (I was actually sober for ALL of 2003) , but remember SARS?? OK - get this - Vancouver is the point-of-entry for more Chinese than anywhere in the Western world , but due to careful MEDICAL solutions , avoided the outbreak of fatal cases that Toronto had , and Vancouver scientists are under the radar once again . The USDA wants everyone to "know" that you cannot contract this disease from pork . The problem is - they are WRONG . In the factory farms where every critter is so tightly packed and then in the nowhere-near-sterile slaughterhouses , contaminants are the rule , not the exception . In almost ever package of meat , there is poo , and where there is poo , you can catch all sorts of weird stuff . The USDA will issue warnings about E.Coli or Salmonella in produce , but not meat - look it up if you don't believe me . Over 95% of food-borne diseases are caused by contaminated critters - be fuckin careful if you want to put this stuff in your body . You are a million times more likely to get salmonella or listeriosis than Swine flu . I'm not fucking worried . Worrying messes up the hard drive of your immune system .
Next ... US Border Patrol screeners .... ok , I know that they send the really stupid fuckwads to our border , but , come on , where'sa your fuckin brains assholes ? OK , major pissoff - my stepdad got denied from entering the US because he had a DUI - IN 1987!!!! He was dragged into their office and interrogated for hours . Apparently these bozos also had a major problem with the fact that my mum didn't take his last name when they got married and these hicks found that highly objectionable to their "christian" values . Seriously , people FUCK OFF ALREADY! The only thing that might be harmed by him entering any country might be his own liver . And I know for a fact that these useless cunts really get their jobs cause mummy or daddy works for the government because if they had any cojones , they would get sent to the mexican border . One of my buddies was doing some braniac artfart thing in Salt Lake , so of course , being in a car , he has to go through these checkpoints . The usual "where are you going , etc." he replies that he is going to UTAH . The border weed promptly asks "Isn't that somewhere in Texas?" . I'm not joking.
Oh , and for SCUMBAGS , there are few worse than the group of kids who beat a 55-year-old man named Donald Hooker to death in Ridge Meadows , BC (basically Vancouver) , basically for shits and giggles . apparently they wanted something of this old cat's , he said no , obviously not thinking he was gonna get killed for it , they killed him for daring to say no to being mugged . According to bcctv.ctv.ca , there were a group of teenage scumbags who killed the fella while a bunch of other dudes just watched and then took off afterward . So , this man was basically killed by the collective apathy of those who looked on . These kids were unarmed , and by estimates , around 16 years old - not ONE of the dozens could have stopped this man from being killed? I'm not sure what's worse - beating someone to death or standing by cheering it on and then taking off before the cops get there but ALL of you are my fuckin SCUMBAGS OF THE WEEK .