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Thursday, July 21, 2011

Media Moment: The Ex-Gay Edition

Have you ever noticed that those who call themselves ex-gays were always dysfunctional gays in the first place; with hundreds or thousands of partners, drug use, and claims of molestation? They also claim that The Gay is caused by their evil mothers whom are overbearing, single moms. They blame friends, relatives, and society for their gayness and claim that a God who created them will also make them straight.

One of the champions of the "everything is everyone else's fault" school of de-gaying is Stephen Bennett. He launches into a tirade about how his mother and nonexistent dad made him gay and that he had a horrible life as a gay man. By his own admission, he was a drug-abusing, self-loathing twinky ho. All of this changed when he prayed to Jesus and found himself a good (read brainwashed) Christian wife.

The thing is, Stephen Bennett and others like him are not living authentic lives and as they continue to lie and deny, they are harming young people who seem to think that these old ex-gays have the way out of misery. The denial and parental blaming displayed in ex-gay groups tears families apart; with loving mothers seen as overbearing, hard-working dads viewed as absent, and normal doctors and friends painted as molesters. The ex-gay movement creates depression and self-loathing to be sure, but it also damages families instead of helping them.

One glowing example of what the movement does is in Stephen Bennett himself. You can tell that the gent not only hates himself, but is a very unhappy "straight" man. His veneer is more polished than that of Kevin Kline's character in In And Out. I know effeminate heterosexual men, and he's not one of them. It comes down to some unmistakable mannerisms. For example, he leans away from his wife when he looks at her; all contact seeming forced as Mr. Bennett tries to convince the world that he is what he says he is but clearly is not.

I do feel sorry for the Bennett kids. Those 2 have lived their entire lives as trophies- examples of how the so-called ex-gay therapy really "works". Their purpose in life is to affirm their pop's orientation. But I know gay men with kids from marriages to women. Lots of them. Most of the kids are far more well-adjusted now that the gay parent is out than when they were in. Mind you, those children weren't used to further a political or religious image, like those of the boy-men lost in the Exodus movement.

The ex-gay movement itself destroys families, I have no doubt. It causes men to hate their parents, children to be used, and the lives of religious wives to be destroyed. In Mrs. Bennett's mind, her husband's de-gaying is a sign of the glory of a great creator and an affirmation of her God-ordained purpose as a helper to her husband. However, as a result of brainwashing, ego, or both, Mrs. Bennett cannot see that her husband is a tutu away from being a walking Pride parade. One wonders what will happen when she finds out.

Come out, come out, whatever you are.

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