Monday, July 4, 2011
Spy Vs. Spy : Letting Go Of God #10
Aforementioned sibling has spent the last three-and-a-half decades being a bully to me, but I'm cool with that. I make as large an effort as possible not to dwell on past negativity. I usually ignore the fact that she expects me to wait on her as a servant because that's how it has always been, but something my 10 year old nephew told me absolutely broke my heart.
Within 10 minutes of arrival, said nephew just spat it out " My mother says I can't hang out in your room because she says you're crazy.". That's all. Simple Simon said to the pie man.
I went and took my dog for a walk and cried my eyes out. I sobbed unlike I have in my reasonably sane life. There were full-on tears; last night I attained acute awareness of the true meaning of heartbreak.
After the sissy attack, I returned to my house with impenetrable asshole armour in full effect. Nothing halted my joy as my 2 little buddies chilled with me last night and for most of today. We enjoyed everything from Lethal Enforcers on Sega Genesis to jumping into the salty Pacific to existential conversations. All was good.
We arrived home and we collaborated on a meal-making session. After supper, when the kids were out of the room, I asked my sister why she would tell her son such an awful thing. She responded first with denial, and then with an admission that she'd told one of the few people I would truly die for that dreadful thing, but it was my fault. She flailed around for an excuse and blurted out "well I didn't want you guys to hang out and forget us but you've been negative and ***5 minute session of blaming me for her needing to degrade me to a 5th grader***".
My sister told a child to discriminate against another human being because she was afraid we'd have too much fun. She left whilst blaming me for my offense and I dropped it to make peace.
Now here's a little secret about my little buddy. He's 10 and he's freakishly smart and no matter how much bullshit my sister decides to cram down his throat, he's going to be himself. And I also found out last night that Mr. J is atheist, much against his mum's wishes.
For the record, my nephew had no idea that I didn't believe in any of the many, many gods before he asked me last night. He had already determined it to himself that " if Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy are bogus, how can someone expect me to believe in something else that's obviously imaginary?" (he said this to my sister verbatim) and was just tossing out a line. He asked me if I believed and I said no and he was one very relieved child as he explained how my mother (his grandmother) has told him we thought a lot alike. The nephew told about being forced to go to Easter Mass and how he thought it was weird and thought his mum was trying to hard to make him believe in nonsensical things. We chuckled last night, but tonight was interesting.
This evening, my stepfather brought up all of this 'heaven' stuff and Jacob looked at him as if he had two heads. This young gent eloquently articulated his preference for science over imaginary friends. As he spoke regally about his logic and the way in which the universe actually operates, I quietly applauded.
You see, even though this boy was taught so many blanket judgments, he has already figured out what he believes and why. My sister may believe in a god, but she has very little humanity, and no matter how many labels she tries to throw on me to make herself feel more important, the kid she clearly doesn't favour sees through it all and is an incredibly moral atheist. The boy who asks me every time he sees me "why is my mum so mean to you?" has an amazing awareness of the world around him and doesn't need to wait for greatness since he has already attained it and looks toward an unlimited future.
I could focus on my sister's disregard for decency, but I'd rather tune into my nephew's wavelength. Admitting to who you are and standing on your ground are phenomenal actions. Choosing not to buy into hatred is heroic. I am proud to be very close to a 10 year old MAN who is indescribably incredible; a dude who loves to chill with me like no other.
My best friend is a 10 year old kid who constantly proves that you don't need to believe in cloud zombies to be truly blessed.
Posted by Michel-Exildas Galipeau at 00:23