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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Smoke Out

  On a nondescript day I was looking for something online, but happened upon a couple of photographs. They are of a man named Bryan and they were taken 2 months apart. And I want you to look at them.


This one was taken on March 29. -->

and this one was taken June 3rd of the same year 

It goes without saying that Bryan did not make it. And how did he die? Was it AIDS, meth, tuberculosis? What killed a healthy looking man in 9 weeks? 

Bryan died from smoking. He was the same age as I am now when he died. He was a roofer too. And just like me he was worried about his mother who smoked and thought illnesses were for the old. 

3 days after the photo on the right was taken, he would go to the hospital with a pain in his gut that was cancer eating its way into his liver. He had small cell lung cancer and knew it would kill him. He got sick very quickly and made sure to go out in public as often as he could and tell people what was happening to him and why.  He had an open-casket funeral because he wanted people to know what tobacco does to the human body. 

  I've seen all of the anti-tobacco adverts. I live in a country that has graphic photos on cigarette packs. I'm a rational person. But I still smoked until I read about Bryan Curtis, a person a lot like me who died way too young for no real reason.  And I haven't smoked since.

 I hope I can be tough enough to stick it out. I was born addicted to nicotine but whether or not it kills me is basically my choice and I've decided that I need no more smokes. Wish me luck. 

(This is the part where I go and walk my dog for the 4th time today to stave off another nic fit.)


  1. You should get some acupuncture, it will help w/ the cravings. I see several addicts in the clinic, though most struggle w/ overeating.

  2. Mika you got me. Getting chemo now. Email me, will be support. More in email. My SKYPE is lisbethwest. Phone # in email or check my blog, look under link to 12 step profile. WOMEN HOLD UP HALF THE SKY. (( hugs )) Lizzie

  3. So far the no smoking is going well. Thanks for the love and Lisbeth, you are an inspiration.

  4. My Gf quit 2 years ago. She said the hardest part is the first week. (man, was she bitchy and loopy) Afterwards, she said it was the physical habit, that "something to do" that was hard to break. Her stepfather quit using hypnosis. I'm proud of you for at least trying, hope it sticks. :-)


Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think