Intervention Time

 Giorgio Armani has come up with some pretty awesome designs over the course of his career , for the most part they rock. I have been lucky enough to own some of his fine work over the years , but NONE of it looks like the multiple tragedies worn by The Human Mannequin last night. Somebody obviously forgot his Geritol . 

Nightmare #1 : Gumby's Vagina 

  ...is exactly what this travesty brings to mind. Upon examination , Gumby's Vagina doesn't do a very good job of covering Gaga's . Ladies , you NEVER want your vijay to resemble a hairless Dromedary.  Old Gio obviously didn't measure the immense space betwixt this woman's legs . She has a frontal wedgie. If she didn't wax she would have been arrested . There is NOTHING decent about this exposure. 

Outfit #2 : Lost In Space

This is about the best looking of Gaga's ensembles from the evening . She's actually a pretty girl when she doesn't have 6 rolls of Saran Wrap glued to her dome. The lack of a weird hat is what MAKES this because the rest is terrible. The thing in her right hand looks like a shish kebab rack for a tailgate-BQ . At least she has the other paw up to protect photogs from being impaled on her . I hope the person sitting next to her looked before they lounged.

Outfit #3 : Alien Icicle 

  Gaga is one pissed off looking space creature here. She kind of looks like an ice sculpture that has been demonically possessed . Or a figure skater with a PCP addiction. you decide. Even the people around her cannot keep a straight face . Could you imagine being the folks behind her? The dude in the circus monkey outfit looks terrified for his eyes. If I ever wind up at an event that Gaga is at , a fencing mask best be in my rider. 

  Alas , Lady (?) Gaga and Geriatric Gio got EXACTLY what they wanted - everyone is talking about them . The thing is , not all attention really is good publicity. Giorgio Armani allowed Gaga to humiliate him and make a mockery of his very valuable brand. He either needs to learn to say NO or hang up the shears for good. Talent does not give you license to hijack an awards show that was SUPPOSED to be dedicated to honouring real legends and helping the people of Haiti . You BOTH have enough fame. Step aside for once.