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Monday, February 22, 2010

War Of The Weenies


The American Academy of Pediatrics has recommended that hot dogs and similar sausage-type foods contain a warning label. 
  One would assume that the warning would be related to the fact that the sausages can contain 90% fat or that processed meats are possibly carcinogenic , and such conclusions would be incorrect. 
  The Elk Grove-based child protection agency wants to keep kids from choking. Thusly, they want a mandated package warning and an eventual REDESIGN of the age-old picnic standby. According to the overprotective prat " The best way to protect kids is to design these risks out of existence." . 
  Now , these sausages have been around for hundreds of years and judging by the fact that Austrian kids are some of the fattest around I'm fairly certain that they have eaten their share of these things without suffering demise. There are no outcries from all of the Hungarian and German parents either. No Poles, nor Czechs, Moroccans, or Israelis. I'm curious as to what makes us so different as to attempt to mandate a change in a shape of foods. 
  What it boils down to is parental laziness. There is already a warning on many brands of sausages but parents are too busy watching General Hospital to read the package. Responsible parents do not feed an infant anything they can choke on, let alone something not designed for them. Babies should not be eating solid food anyways, and when small kids do begin eating such things we are supposed to SUPERVISE them. Every parent in my circle has at least a general idea of how to remedy choking. It is true that 3 or 4 kids a year do die from choking on the iconic food , and that is tragic , but if your chances of dying from something are one in a few BILLION I'd move on to something else . While the non-profit (your tax dollars hard at work) focusses on redesigning a wiener, there are millions of toxic lead infested toys being imported and children being abused. A person is far more likely to get food poisoning from a sausage than to meet the Big Guy due to asphyxiation caused by wolfing one down. Your kid's crib or car seat is statistically far more dangerous than ANY food item. 
  What's next? Banning pickles? Carrots? Baby Corn, Asparagus, Courgettes ? 

  Keep your kids safe. I know you will do it without the intervention of some lawyer who was too busy to watch her kid. 

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