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Saturday, March 19, 2011

Attn: Evangelical Dingleshits

When you drop to the floor drooling and gurgling, you aren't convincing anyone of your spiritual superiority. Even all of the other Evangelical dingleshits know you are pretending. The preacher is laughing on the inside, knowing that your display is proof that you're stupid enough for you to give all of your money to him.

 You're not overcome with the spirit; you're insulting epileptics- the same people that preachers had burned to death after convincing the Evangelical sheep (sorry sheep,, I know you're smarter than this) that epilepsy was caused by demonic possession. Just because you heard 3 sentences in a Bagel shop doesn't mean you can automatically speak Russian.

Please fucking stop embarrassing yourselves and bringing your children up to think that ululating is okay. Not one of you is a Zulu warrior.You're not fooling anyone. Except maybe yourself.

 I hope your invented language means " I like to fuck my chicken in the ass" in Polish


  1. Mika, as much as I adore you a little insight on this. I grew up pentecostal, and you can't reason with people in this cult. The things that happened to break me out were so circumstantial I really can't begin to describe to you what it's like to be in the mindset I was and how to step by step deprogram a person. I feel immense pity for people trapped in this belief system. It's a circular reasoning that constantly reinforces itself and many people are codependant with it having no other way to cope w/ life.

  2. I inadvertantly joined one of these things when I was in 7th grade. It really confused me, but I kept going because I was kind of an isolated kid.
    In addition I was raised in a rural setting with dogma shoved down my throat, told I was god's punishment on my family and forced to conform to very strict gender norms. My mum was willing to hand me over to snake charming fuckweeds if it meant fixing my soul.

    It was when I had the guts to leave that she did too. Even still, I have evangelical fuckers pestering me constantly. I'm a pretty obvious homo so they'll actually walk right up to me eating lunch. My old roomie was a single dad so he used to work weird shifts to be able to pick up his micro at 3. Anywho, for months on end, these dickweeds would come to the door (I didn't get home til 8 or 9) and ask for "the gay" or "the jew". And they were forceful.

    If these people are so robotic that they believe fairy tales told by someone whose sole purpose in life is to rob 80 year olds, I don't really pity them. These people want me dead, and that's a fact. At least I'm only laughing at them instead of bombing churches like they do with abortion clinics.


Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think