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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Capitalism Is A Funny Thing

I'm not shitting you here. This is a very real product called the Potty Putter, and I'm sure you'll want to buy one for your weird father-in-law. Seeing as we're the culture that spawned bacon-flavored mints and Pet Rocks, I really shouldn't be too judgmental; however I do have a few questions:

1. How is this supposed to improve your golf game? Who the hell putts sitting down with a (second) club between their legs? I can sense a pair of balls in danger here.

2. It says that the flag, hole, etc. are included free (!), but the fine print says just pay separate shipping and handling. How is this free? Also, isn't including the hole kind of part of the deal? I mean it's not called Deuce Drop Driving Range.

3. With iGadgets, Hustler, and Uncle John's Bathroom Readers, don't you think people have enough things to distract them from the time-honoured task of pinching one off, wiping arse,  pulling up pants, washing hands, and getting the fuck out of the loo?

4. Does this strike anyone else as a tad unhygienic? I mean I realize that most of these will wind up as gag gifts, but there just seems something unsanitary about having a putt-putt in the same place you loaf.

5. How many of you are going to run to the phone or website to buy one? I can think of no better way to annoy the shit out of your mother-in-law than to purchase one of these for her mate. Not only will he likely actually use it, her sensibilities will be offended that someone would actually spend their hard-earned money on something so stupid.

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