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Monday, June 29, 2009

OH THE OUTRAGE!!

Old Import Blog #1

Oh - the outrage ! Women are breastfeeding their children ! In public ! The horror !
Why are people upset about this? It's way more natural than feeding a kid a bottle of cows milk . At least they're sticking with their own species . I mean if the lady was shooting it at random passer-by (hey , protesters can be weird) , THAT would be offensive .
Some dweeb on CNN was comparing breastfeeding to dropping a shit in public - give me a break! Statements like that make me want to organize a group of people to send him poo via FedEx . I know - we'll put MRE heaters in it in such a way that when he tries to open it , the package will heat itself - flaming dog poo but long-distance . Maybe then , the dork will understand the difference between lactation and defecation . (before I get hate mail disclaimer : I am not actually advocating the sending of bodily waste via the mail system despite how funny the idea might be . It is illegal. )
Seriously , though , trying to find the boob (yes , that's a pun , fucking get over it) on Youtube , I discovered a littany of "men" who were posting VBlogs related to being outraged by breastfeeding . What are they - jealous? I mean , I personally , don't find breasts offensive in general , I'm more annoyed when people take unsolicited (a.k.a 'razzi) shots of me topless in the summer and then posting them online , but that's because they are being invasive , not because I'm embarrassed and I'm sure all the women "caught" on camera breastfeeding feel the same way . Now I realize that Canadians and Europeans might have a different perspective on this , but there is a whole heap of difference between toplessness in general and pornography or exhibitionism . And don't give me the "it's harmful to children" argument - every kid has seen a nipple - I mean my male cats even have them . I was breastfed as a kid and I don't feel violated in any way . As a matter of fact , I feel loved for the fact I was exposed to the added immunity that it brings and grateful for not having to suck the proverbial teat of a cancerous bovard . In my humble opinion , the only reason why people get upset over breatsfeeding is because it is a situation in which men have zero control - and that really pisses off old Conservative types who try to extend the modesty argument to the most basic of human behaviour . And on the other end of the equation , you have the men who use women's bodies to sell cars , hamburgers , and booze - those guys don't want breastfeeding considered normal because it takes the sexuality out of breasts and , thusly , they cannot make bank off of exploiting them . And anything that affects such a man's income pisses him off .

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