Ad data retrieval

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Truth Is Funnier Than Fiction - Again!

This is a real promotional product for you folks out there who just cannot manage to market your business to those NASCAR fans - yes MEAT Business Cards!!
That's right beef barons - you too can have your corporate logo emblazoned on USDA Prime beef jerky with a 150 Watt CO2 laser.
Now this strikes me as one of those things that isn't going to take off for a few reasons .
Firstly - we don't remember everything we read , let alone eat . If this were the case we would be reciting the shitty jokes printed on Fruit Roll-Ups to our annoyed coworkers . I mean I've heard of "eating one's words" , but this is kind of ridiculous.
Secondly - The only people who would save the food/advertisement long enough to get around to dialing the number would be vegetarians , and they'd likely be so grossed out as to avoid your company entirely . That said , Jerky is SOOOOO irresistibly glorious that I've seen avowed vegans go apeshit for the animal kind and the most ravenous carnivores annihilate the vegetarian kind . It won't survive long enough for you to log the number into your Blackberry .
Thirdly - If it does survive the transfer to your purse/pocket/glovebox , the inevitable lint will make it as revolting as aging roadkill , which leads us into ...
Finally - Carrying around tasty salty animal flesh makes you disturbingly attractive to Coyotes , stray cats , scary redneck NASCAR dudes , and escaped prisoners - not to mention , roofers! It would be like Spanish Fly from hell -SOMETHING is gonna fuck you one way or the other!

For those of you who are skeptical , I leave you with this - Have a great day!!

1 comment:

  1. The meatcards are real and can be found @meatcards on Twitter . They even have a contest where you can score some free ones.
    They didn't tell me to pull the post but they did ask for a shout out . Cool cats all around.


Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think