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Sunday, October 11, 2009

Blog On Demand - All Hail Pineapple!

According to a decade of teenagers and the twat on E! , eating copious quantities of PINEAPPLE will make a lady's vijay pleasantly aromatic , so like a good little perv , I decided to check out a few opinions far more educated than mine to figure out if there is any validity to the adage .

It should be noted that kosher or treif in the basement factor is a highly subjective thing as people really do have different preferences . People are naturally more or less funky due to natural variation and a variety of other factors , but I'm curious as to one thing ...

Who gets to test this out??!! Do the smeller or smellee get PAID to do this ?! I really have to find out because I'm pretty certain that unhygienic "subjects" would not be signing up to have their oysters scrutinized in such an intimate way . And if someone was going to pay me to rate vag , I might just be forced to do the dirty task . After all , it's for science .

From what the sexperts say , Asparagus make guy's goo universally funky , but who really goes around smelling spermies ? I don't and neither do you . But , WOMEN , on the other hand are insecure after hundreds of years of bad fish jokes likely invented by some uptight missionary obsessed with his position . We have this intrinsic need to KNOW these things . On a personal level , i have only encountered a couple of fetid muffins and I'm pretty sure that what they had for dindin had ZERO to do with the mosquito-repellent factor.

For the science nerds out there , certain things can and do have an effect on the mustiness of the crawlspace . The worst offenders are asparagus , garlic (personally , I would find the garlic irresistible ) , and multivitamins rather predictably . But you might not know that most bar soaps affect Ph levels so drastically that you might want to consider just going with water or finding a low-Ph soap . Douches and (sorry , boys) leftover spermies can have a very nasty effect on Ph , so hop in the shower after the boogie , and you should be fine .
For the positive stuff , red wine might be the healthiest thing going for keeping the nasties away . Lemons , coffee , and yogurt are also good for the Ph levels . And a healthy pussy is a happy one .

And there are foods known to directly have effects on the goings-on . For example , there is truth to the hippies' T-Shirts . Vegetarians DO indeed taste sweeter . Meat is rotting flesh , and adds a bitterness to the juices and is true for both men and women . Heavy smoking , heavy dairy products , and too much coffee (balance here) are also reported to have negative effects across the board . Diets rich in citrus fruits and veggies with the singular exception of the dreaded asparagus are primo , so pineapple is most certainly in ! Go for loads of green veg and a variety of fruits in your diet . Plus , all of those antioxidants in things like blueberries and strawberries are good for the body . And a healthy , energetic you means that your lucky recipient will have lots of reasons to smile .


  1. In a perfect world, I would place a nice and comfortable lounge behind me as I work with computer set up so on so forth and you would blog like this and read all of them, aloud. You are entertainment candy!= christine

  2. i came to read the other blog and how the fuck did i miss THIS one??? I am happy to report that personally i crap ice cream & pee perfume.I was thrilled to see that the staples of my diet are beneficial to a sweet smelling snatch.Tis a shame that some women have the need to hang one of those little green trees from their panties. (which btw panties wreak their own personal hell on a womans puss). so ladies be kind to the cat and do some pineapple..EAT it, don't insert.

  3. When I was vegan I tasted like strawberry yogurt. I was also kind of a hussy at the time & every single one of those gents told me the same thing. You're delicious, you taste like strawberry yogurt. Most of them weren't friends so I can't imagine they talked to each other about it.


Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think