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Friday, January 7, 2011

Letting go Of God Pt. One

  "I'm an Atheist".

  These are three words that cannot be said without invoking a heavy discussion. Religious folks get very upset when they encounter someone who doesn't revere the same deity, but the idea that someone doesn't believe in any God can inspire pity, tears, or outright rage. Often times someone will want to pray for your soul; offer their direct plea to their God for you to find salvation and revere the same angry space monster they do. I understand this conundrum; I too was a believer once, but not anymore. I am good without God.

  I used to feel powerless; there were wars and famines and hurt, things that I could not control. I considered all of this part of some divine plan, that the ancestors of these people or those people must have really pissed off the Skydude and he was exacting his revenge. I too thought that I must be wrong, or at least praying wrong, for whenever I asked there was no reply. I heard my sister pray nightly for the monsters not to come and they still did- men sworn to protect who stole innocence without punishment. I saw famines on television and felt hunger myself and wondered why there was no manna for us as there had been for the men of the desert. And then I became angry with God.

  I used to be irate with God when disaster came. I wondered what kind of sociopathic being could cause the mountains to crumble and masses to drown. I wondered why God would choose sick perverts as his chosen messengers yet cause innocents to suffer AIDS, cancers, and leprosy. What kind of supernatural terrorist would cause my aunt's body to crumble with her mind still aware and cause the same genetic effect to occur in subsequent generations? What had I done to deserve tremendous physical pain, let alone this characteristic that the bible prescribes death for being born with?

  And on the subject of the Bible, I began to read it and what I read was shocking. Pages upon pages of misery and death. Instructions for how to sell your own daughter into sex slavery. Stoning of women. Babies murdered. Genocides. Ritual human sacrifice. And after all of this and more, contradiction after contradiction. I came to know that the good person that I am was absolutely inconsistent with any representative of this omnipotent ogre.

  And then came a period of sadness, a mourning of sorts. A funeral for the afterlife that only exists in the microbes that consume the body after death. But then came what I feel today, which is tremendous peace. I am at ease knowing that my deeds do matter, that what I say and do can make a difference in the life of someone else because their hurt is the will of man and not predestined. Absolute serenity for me was found when I came to the realization that I do not need to do something to prevent a hell after death but to prevent my life or the life of someone else from becoming hell. And I'm kinder to myself now- instead of relying on divinity I actually go to the doctor. I now have a life worth living because I have taken ownership of my being away from the men who peddle fear. I'm also kinder to the planet I share with fellow animals because I do not have the myopic view that I am chosen to be superior to other creatures. I am a better human being without God than I ever was with one.

  If you need a God in order to feel full in your life, I have no objection. The world can be a big, scary place if you focus on being alone. But please don't waste your breath praying for me; instead take that time to sign a petition to halt education cuts or feed the hungry at a soup kitchen. Instead of talking to the air and begging its response, be the example you wish others to follow. If you need a higher power, see the good in yourself as God and work toward being the best person you can be. Live your life as if the only afterlife will be in the memories of your kin and you may just be a more moral person than you were when you feared hellfire. And love yourself. Truly, madly, deeply love yourself and your fellow man.

Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer. 


  1. I couldn't agree more! Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope others will walk a similar path and reach the conclusions that fit them best. Whatever it may be.

  2. This made my day, thank you! It's often so difficult to put my own belief into words and you did it very eloquently!

  3. I do find this revelation a lot since becoming an avid reader and writer in the online blog-o-sphere. I feel particularly blessed indeed that when I came to those cross roads of indoctrination and awareness of religious folly, the holy spirit was there to guide me through those dark nights of the soul. Why? I have no idea, save one; I chose to believe! It certainly was not earned, for I have lived the most abominably selfish life.

    When we view God as a universal father of the worlds most dysfunctional family, or when we draw simplistic conclusions as to why this absentee landlord allows such disrepair and neglect to occur, then it is easy to abandon such a belief. Logic determines that, not rebellion, actually logic demands it.

    The biggest inherent fallacy people embrace is that God is a human father only greater, a human ruler only stronger a punisher, executioner, tyrant ad-nauseum. All these characterizations cemented over time by the ineptness of, and on occasion, the willfulness of mankind to enslave, deceive, exploit his fellow man. Non of this by the way "GOD"

    So what is GOD then? That is your personal journey. You must ascend the mountain, You must be willing to sacrifice your son (self), You must strive out of the bondage of the carnal self and be willing to sustain the time in the desert, and the manna will fall from the heavens, and you will survive. And your struggle will be long and hard, and the more you present reason. the more the world will rebel. Not becuase it grow greater, only because you grow more distant and aware of it's deception and cruelty.

    Why did God deem it be this way?

    Christ in fore-knowledge of this lamented on our behalf, the night before he made the atonement that would offer the portal by which we all could ascend above this carnal state.

    But man loves his darkness, he loves the constrains of the law, because he can manipulate the law, But the light can not be manipulated, so he rejected the light.

    All these things I learned and much more, when I read the bible through a cleansed heart. We condemn ourselves, the suffering we witness is all man made, God is not the author of your suffering, but the salvation from it.

    And Michelle now that you have awakened, consciously accepted the responsibility that life demands, chosen to effect in your life, that which was instructed to you to ensure you a fulfilled life, and to be an example to your community, this is the new Atheism?

    Actually knock yourself out. Go atheism Go. That is what Jesus would have proclaimed. Jesus was approached once by his disciples, and they were quite disgruntled, that there were people going around healing the sick, feeding the poor, and doing all sorts of righteous acts. And they were doing this, not in Christs name!

    His response was, when anyone does these acts of kindness and benevolence they are done in God's name.

    So happy un-religion to you.


  4. So you can do incredible amounts of good deeds and self sacrfice in the world - god takes the credit and then tortures you in hell for eternity. What a dick.


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