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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Public Service Announcement

  I read a statistic today that stated that 39% of Americans believe astrology to be scientific fact. According to loads of people and most of my female friends, the planetary alignment has an effect on everything from your personality traits to whether the dog pukes on the sofa.

  My friends' obsessions with astrology are a source of annoyance for me as much as my love of hockey is an irritation to them. We have different hobbies and I try to keep mine to myself, but because this is my blog, I'm going to express my opinion on the pseudoscience that confuses the hell out of me.

  To begin with, people ask me my sign. Apparently, being a Gemini is such a horrifying thing that I've been denied dates because of it. According to this mumbojizzle I'm only compatible with certain specific signs and I'm supposed to be a moody, indecisive, extroverted jerk who cannot commit. People also want to know about when exactly I was born and ascribe other judgments based on the fact that it was 3:20 AM on May 22nd. You will judge me before you know me because of some paperback you bought in the checkout line.

  But what if I said I wasn't the sign I was? Could you really tell? The answer is no. You would simply pick out the traits that you think suit me for "verification" because every person displays the entire spectrum of personality traits at some time or another. So let's say I tell you I'm a Taurus. It wouldn't be entirely a lie since I was actually born 3 weeks late and should technically have been born in the middle of Bullhead land.
  You'd assume that I'm a quiet, obstinate introvert with a jealous streak. Maybe you'd find me more attractive than the evil, two-faced Gemini.

 And our signs are also tied into planetary alignment. Apparently when this planet or that one does this thing that it doesn't usually do, it affects all of these zodiac signs in different ways. I think that's what people are telling me anyways. I'm confused. I also think this is complete and utter crap and at least as big of a waste of time as watching the New York Islanders lose their 9th game in a row.

  All I know is that ramming this annoying hobby down my neck will not make me believe it. I'm a believer in scientific fact. If my computer is acting funny, it's not because Mercury's in retrograde, but that it should be in a metro grave. Some defunct Greek God has absolutely nothing to do with my mood nor the fact that AMD processors have short life spans. I've had insomnia for months and you'd be bitchy too regardless of the planetary doohickeys. You'd also be a tad irritated if the tool of your trade was a geriatric, malfunctioning beast.

  Please, PLEASE stop forcing your weird waste of time on this atypical Gemini goofball and I will have a ton more respect for your actual patterns of thought. If you don't cease and desist I might be forced to give you a rising sign all my own.

  Thank You

Weird but pretty graphic that I do not understand the meaning of courtesy of


  1. Mika!! I'm a Gemini, too... and I'm a moody, indecisive jerk, frequently. Oh, and you and my son (whom shall not be named by me on the Internet for fear of legal action) share a birthday. He was born closer to 3pm though, central.

  2. Odd to think that everyone born in the same month would have the same personality traits. There are only 12 months in a year. I'm fairly certain I've been in contact with more than 12 different types of people. Also, Libras (me) are supposedly well suited to Aries. Does that mean I should only date people born in April? That certainly limits my options, good thing I'm not gender particular.


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