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Saturday, August 28, 2010

Time To Pet The Peeve (Again)

   Tonight's peeve is going to be quick and painless.

  My irritation du jour are those people who comprise roughly 25% of the people you know. Actually, the people may be just fine, but it's this one thing that rots my fucking eyesockets that I'll share with you.

  Everyone knows someone who pollutes social networks on a mass scale by keeping a shot of them trying to wrap their tongue around their mate's uvula as their profile picture. And if you don't know someone who does this, you are the visual terrorist who does this. And you need to really stop.

  Yes, I get it. You get laid; and judging by the fact that there are over 6 BILLION of us motherfuckers on the planet, I'm pretty sure a ton of other people do too. I'm fucking happy for you. I don't get why your girlfriend's moustache is thicker than yours, but whatever tickles your pickle.

  "but you're just JEALOUS that you can't get some ass." You're partially right here. I don't have sex, I masturbate. How about I post a shot of an urn of Astroglide and some bum beads? How'd you like THEM marbles?
  As for jealousy, most of the Facebook/Twitter teams that play tonsil hockey on their profiles are the teams that didn't quite make it to the pros. If I wanted to fuck an ugly bitch, I'd fuck myself. And tweet the gory details. End of story.

  So seriously stop with this abomination. Chances are your mother looks at your Facebook page and she doesn't need to see the evidence of your latest drunken hookup you can't get rid of. She already has to hear you blabbing about how great he is, she doesn't need a slideshow. And neither do the rest of us. For the love of humanity, please cease and desist.

  Or for you dense types, PLEASE FUCKING STOP.

  Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. Right on. Tell it how it is; seriously.


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