Cool Toy?

  Sex toys seem to come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There are the old standbys that your mum probably had (I'm not responsible for your therapy after that visual) but lately, designers are REALLY pushing the envelope when it comes to design.

  There was a peculiar period where vagine massagers were designed in a variety of animal shapes - dolphins, rabbits, beavers and the like. While some seem ingenious (like the eco-friendly vibe) , others scare me. Some of these beasts look like they could cause permanent damage.

  On the flip side, there are those that make me LAUGH, and today's feature is just one of those.

 The Sqweel Wheel.

  Once you get past the horrendous misspelling that annoys me, let's get down to the toy. Now, I'm no product review site (although the designer is free to send me one of these so I can be more balanced) but this thing looks like a water wheel from a model train set. The idea is that you hold this thing on your yoni and let er rip.

  I'm not a big fan of weird looking masturbatory apparatuses, and this seems way out there. And anything that makes me laugh will not make me get glorious. I'm immature that way. I mean it's 10 fake tongues on a black plastic axis. It just doesn't spell hot and happy for me.

  I'm down for the real deal, and if my partner is clueless, I'll be happy to provide lessons. I've never been so desperate as to punk something from a kid's toy set and put weird silicone extensions on it. I think that's what it boils down to for me- I can't get my brain around the idea of f*cking a hunk of plastic that in no way RESEMBLES a human body part.

  I mean this toy could be the greatest thing ever invented but I'd never know because I am not going to drop 60 bucks to find out. Have any of you folks tested this? Am I a prude or am I on the button when I think we just need to get back to the basics?