People suggest that women fool around with married men because they want some grand emotional commitment , that we want someone to leave their partner for us , but it's really not true . We have this sexist idea that women are more emotionally invested than men . We WANT to believe that women are innocent and don't need to get laid because that's what our conditioning has taught us . The fact of the matter is that a lot of the people who hook up with committed people do so because they want to have fun with no strings attached . It's societally abhorrent to most people because of the way in which people go outside the relationship . It's sneaky , not at all out in the open , and exposes couples to STDs . In a lot of instances it hurts the other , more emotionally invested partner.
The weird thing is that if there wasn't a risque feel to running around , a lot of people would stay put. We ALL look around , whether it's buy reading Maxim or by being more overt . We all cheat on our partners in our minds , and most people do so more overtly . We check out that hot woman at the bank , the guy fixing the roof , or the jogger passing by . And it's not a question of happiness - I know incredibly unhappy monogamous people , and ones who enjoy the safety that such a bond brings . But I also know people in open relationships , and all seem very balanced and happy.
I used to hate on people in open relationships , but I'm starting to think that they have the right idea. I used to judge such people , but it's really not harming me or anyone else. At least they are honest to their partners and do the people the groove with instead of running around like weasels. There are variants of this , ranging from having an "understanding" like my grandparents did , to going to swapping parties like some of my friends do but the constant is the lack of insane jealousy that most of us cling to for security.
After being cheated on by almost everyone I have dated , and it has hurt in the past , but I have come to expect it . I'm sick of excuses and sneaking , if you want to hook up with someone , just say it , do it , and don't bring me back a disease. I'd rather you not , but if that's how you are , just be open about it . I am not longer going to feel self-hatred because somebody does something that's just part of who they are .
After noticing that almost everybody fools around on their SO in one way or another , I have come to the conclusion that monogamy is Santa Claus for grown-ups.