Friends Don't Let Friends...

...wear Patchouli oil . 

  This stuff used to be daintily worn by potheads and poets and pothead poets , but now it is worn by the most terrifying segment of female in the wild. 

   The uber-butch diesel . Now , there is a certain coolness to a typical tomboy and even Canadian straight women have more moxy than our American counterparts , but this is not what I'm talking about. 

   A "woman" (I think) swaggered by me yesterday who is the typical example - short mullet , parka , way-too-clean-to-be work boots . She (well , I don't know , a lot of chicks this macho prefer male pronouns for some odd reason) smelled like she had been MARINATING for a week in this shit . It took my breath away , and not in a good way . Sorry , macho girls , THIS IS NOT ATTRACTIVE TO ANYBODY . 

  Back in the day I was dating this girl (who is now a dude incidentally) who had a Patchouli "Papa" housemate whose name will not be released for obvious reasons . Anywho , this woman had BACK HAIR . This was my first introduction to the scent worn by women who TERRIFY my next youngest brother , who is larger than most defensive linemen . 

  This stink used to be somewhat tolerable when worn by male street musicians , but chicks just do not have any concept of moderation when it comes to this strange asian snakebite remedy . Think about it - this substance is strong enough to make COBRA VENOM run for the hills . And it will do the same to this Cougar. 

Don't even let a frienemy near this horrid oil . PLEASE , for the love of humanity .

Thank You