Everything You Love?

  This commercial came on during the VMAs about 20 times tonight. Fast forward past the stereotypical fey porn star dudes for a second. Focus on the lady and what she's saying here.

  The BBM (which to me has always been an acronym for Bulky Bowel Movement) indicator says whether someone has read your message and not responded to you.

  Why would ANYONE want to know this? Unless you're a stalker it would be kind of depressing, and if you ARE a stalker it could push you over the edge. Just like with the annoying client who emails me 20 times a day, I do not respond to every text or BBM. And if you are someone I'm dating who goes batshit every time I don't reply to 'have a great glass of orange juice. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo' , I'm going to think you're a scary, clingy, psycho beast.

  Maybe this feature DOES serve a function after all. It's designed so that you can tell which one of your buddies/one night stands you need to get a restraining order against. As a matter of fact, I kind of LIKE this feature. It will save me a ton of work having to use my own time and mind filtering weirdos out.

  Thanks Blackberry. I KNEW there was a reason why I worked for you in the 90's.