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Sunday, July 4, 2010

Your Weekly Darwin

   There is a bizarre trend amongst those who have a want for the instant micro-fame that the interwebs have to offer. There are MySpace "friend" adder apps, Facebook fan pages,  and one moment of stupidity can cement some local fame via YouTube.

  So with the viral nature of information transfer via social networks there have sprouted masses of yo-yos who want their crack at stardom, even if just amongst those who really need to get out of their basements.

  Such is the nature of the Facebook group. There are pages for fans of celebrities, consumer goods, and football teams. But there are also groups with inane and sometimes insane advertisements. There have been groups that stated that the wife of the page owner would let him name their son Optimus Prime or Megatron if a certain amount of followers were reached. There have actually been innocent beings given bizarre nomers simply because of these cries for attention. Even weirder are groups like " If This Group Gets 100,000 I Will Slam My Dick In A Door" or other stunt ploys. All in all, this is fucking absurd.

  Dude, I don't care if you slam your wang in a door. In fact, it might just prevent you from reproducing for a while saving humanity from some poor child named Flatulent Asshat. If you are so socially isolated that your only shot at self-esteem is to have a million equally challenged doofoids worship your attempt to inflate your fragile egos, you need serious help or at least a hug from your mummy. And for those who volunteer innocents into your attention-seeking arrogant ploys, you have proven yourselves to be unfit as stewards of the barely born. While it would be advantageous to society for you to be sterilized, sometimes you've already done the deed. Thusly, you have a responsibility to ensure that your offspring are not set up for the life of ridicule that you have obviously already experienced.

  PLEASE just fucking stop and think for a nanosecond. You deserve to think more highly of yourselves and your kids (and potential ones) than to subject yourselves to this. There are a litany of ways to become known through your actual talents than to demean yourselves by engaging in such senseless stupidity.

  You ARE enough.

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