I'm Just Going To Say It

  If you wear fur that is not your own, I'm probably going to dislike you.

  I was waiting for the pharmacist to fix his assistant's mess-up today and made the ill-advised move of picking up a People magazine. I kind of knew what to expect- pampered princesses telling you to spread animal's placenta on your face and wipe your ass with magnolias. It's not exactly reading for the educated masses.

  But as I leaf through I notice this hot NEW (?) trend. The examples were Kim Kardashian, Kate Moss, Fergie, Elle McPherson and some other entitled twatwaffle. What was the wonderful, groundbreaking must-have?

 Fur vests.

 Mink and Sable and a few I couldn't identify were present in their photospread. In the blurb below the magazine told readers that they could look famous bu going for cheap faux fur, but there wasn't a single word about it being humane because G-d dare make a starlet look like she's not nice. But I'm not People Magazine.

  I do not care whether you are my favourite actress or the rich bitch next door, if you are not Inuk or Siberian and you wear fur, I'm going to make some assumptions about your character. I will infer that you are a callous  and self-centred beast. If you are willing to adorn yourself with the fur of several animals that were either skinned alive or electrocuted and consider it to be high fashion, you're an asshole. You're also a monumental coward because you couldn't skin 20 screaming cats yourself. Your high fashion statement is that you are a heartless, spineless, spoiled bitch who doesn't care about animals unless they're in your kangaroo-skin purses.

  And since you don't care, this shouldn't bother you one bit.