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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thursday Trending Topic Rundown

This is where I take Twitter Trending Topics from various joints and my two cents for your amusement, embarrassment, and irritation. 

Enjoy...or not.

Boston, USA; Dallas, USA; Philadelphia, USA ; USA; Canada - Purple Haze

  Apparently Adam Lambert covered Jimi Henrdix's iconic 1967 7" chunk of amazing this evening in Paris  and fangurls all over North America are having a collective orgasm. While it has been covered live before, it has never been done by a pop star, let alone one created on a shitty pseudoreality show. Thusly, there is a collective shit being dropped by rock loyalists, who view this as tantamount to taking Mother Teresa's virginity. Few people are ambivalent here.

  The thing is when it comes to historical art, regardless of genre, people are going to be protective. Us old farts do not want an unseasoned tart making mincemeat out of what we view as the real deal. Moreover, we will take particular offence to all of you young shits enjoying it so obnoxiously. I suggest you not rub our noses in it lest we chase you around with a skillet or cry.

Worldwide - (Greg) Oden

   Proof of the global exposure that the NBA gets, Greg Oden and his fine china bones have trended for over a day. The 7 foot tall, 3rd year pro has blown both of his knees, resulting in him playing 82 games in his entire career. Blazers fans think he's a sissy and a bust and everyone who had him in the pool is pissed.

  Greg Oden has a ton of talent, but the fact a man so big came into the NBA at 19 made him fragile. Take a note from guys like Oden and Brett Lindros and don't hold your breath. All the talent in the world is of no use when you can't use your skills, let alone stand. Whatever. 

Worldwide - Maury (Povich)

  For no real reason other than a few dudes think they're funny and got people to retweet them, eteral taint Maury Povich is trending. I cannot give a reasonable synopsis of this without having the persistent thought that people are fucking idiots and need to read the news or CNN's website or something. This might be one of the worst things not originated on TMZ- fuck it, including Tony Parker and all that pop culture bullshit.

 I really hope It Gets Better for people who create TT's like this because otherwise we are doomed as a species.

Germany - Terroristen

  The fine folks of Deutschland have been under a terror warning since NATO forces apprehended jihadist scumbags who warned that Germany was next. And assuming that the terrorists are more skilled than those Yemenites who tried to mail bombs to U.S. synagogues, it might just be a serious threat. And their usually understated Interior Ministry is taking a collective krap, so you know that there's a serious problem.

  There are a lot of dickweeds out there who are pissed off that the Germans no longer want to kill all the Jews and too many hippies in Deutschland. We need to offer support to these fine examples of redemption whenever we can. Good on NATO for making  one of Europe's cogs pay attention. it's also nice to know that Germans pay attention to things far more important than some pompous inbred English cunt getting married on the taxpayer dime.

Toronto, Canada - Queen West

  There's no particular reason for this to be trending, other than the fact that Queen west is home to loads of bars and tattoo shops. It is kind of the counterculture heart of Toronto and a really fun place to wander along day or night.
  Dufferin is also trending, but not Dufferin and Queen. Weird. I worked on Dufferin for a t-shirt wholesaler in 1994. man, that job sucked.

  Inclusion of this in my rundown is indicative of the following facts : I need live punk music like Pete Doherty needs smack; I really want vegan poutine from Poutini's but I'll take the cheese too; I miss being able to drink beer out of jugs as opposed to mugs or glasses; Toronto dykes are hot and easy and I need some butch; and I'm really tired and probably should nap.

Happy Friday!

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  1. For the love; trending topics on twitter are like a play by play of the ongoing downfall of society. "who's the baby daddy?"

  2. Re: Greg Oden. His age had nothing to do with his knees being older than he is. Granted big men leaving early is a problem when they aren't developed but had he stayed in college, he would've broken down. Funny thing you're the first one to use his age as a slight. Ever since he was recruited at Ohio State, that dude got old man jokes.

    When he played, he was an excellent rebounder/shotblocker. Didn't really have a solid offensive game at OSU or when he played. Think Bill Russell's game. Like i told a friend - Oden's HS fans may be the only people who saw hi at his potential

    Lambert did what?? Another reason that dude - doesnt have the voice to pull off Jimi. The shame.


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