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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Douche Bag

 Never content to leave well enough alone, Christian Audigier has spread his vomit-inspired Ed Hardy line to include lighters for your meth pipe, booze to get co-eds trashed enough to sleep with your douchey ass, and hand sanitizer to hopefully kill the herpes virus after drunkenly giving a hand job to a guido.

  So it seems only natural to venture into a line of boner bags and sex toys. While I can only envision that an Ed Hardy sex toy will have a battery-powered voice that says "Heyyyyy foxayyy mama, wanna check out my situation?", it doesn't seem that the brand associated with sex repellant should be associated with rubbers.

  But there is an explanation. Like the way-too-small t-shirts, the jimmy hats come in snugger sizes so they won't fall off the kind of steroid-shrunken wang owned by the kind of cat that wears Audigier's horrid handicrafts. The downside is that guidette's vajazzle job is probably going to tear these suckers to smithereens. All-in-all though, we should applaud Audigier for attempting to ensure that the monster he helped to create doesn't reproduce.

   Quick question though : Is Jon Gosselin going to endorse them?

1 comment:

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think