I am amused by people's fascination with bacon. There are beef, turkey, and vegan variations, but those who aren't allergic seem to love the smoked swine. Jews sneak a baco-burger when their mum isn't looking and vegans fall of the wagon due to bacon more than any other food.
I personally don't get it, but then again, I'm allergic to the oink. I got mad love on for smokiness and salt, but this bacon religion confuses and amuses me like no other.
There's Bacon Salt (oddly vegan and kosher), bacon bandaids, and Bacon-of-the-month clubs. With that in mind, I bring you Bacon Soap.
I'm not kidding. You can buy it on amazon for $6.
I'm hoping this is a gag gift, but the manufacturers insist it is the real deal. "Wake up and smell like breakfast" is the slogan. But, seriously who the hell wants to smell like bacon? If you were to use this you'd be followed by every dog in the neighbourhood and nobody wants to get mounted by a Saint Bernard on their morning jog. (at least I HOPE) I envision being propositioned by every greasy trucker in the pub and being stalked by middle-ages ladies in mu-mus.
I REALLY hope that nobody actually uses this.
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Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think